babysitting blunders

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right before xmas i was busy babysitting, now the secretive shopping, office parties, and sunday morning brunches are over, so there's no need for me. i've decided by the process of elimination that getting another part time job might be the solution to my small financial margin. it will have to be the solution. honestly i have no other choice unless of course i begin to sell all of my belongings on the sidewalk. i'm not interested in ebay nor is babysitting, or my art a stable supplement. i went last night to cvs to fill out an application. i worked at cvs for three years as a pharmacy tech and shift manager about three and half years ago. i enjoyed the work but when my present job opened up to me, my sister n law and mother really pushed me to make this move. i am so thankful that i overcame the fear and applied. i am hoping that this part time thing will indeed work out and i won't have to struggle as much financially.

i have not fiercely approached my finances and my dad has agreed to help hold me accountable. it has always been a struggle for me even after giving much prayer and thought towards the difficulty. i believe that god has been merciful with me in this primary situation, but i also know that i should be obeying and submitting. i have felt alone in this area for many many years. i have thought that having a spouse might resolve the issue, but alas i am without a prospect in that area. i know that god desires ultimate financial peace and that he doesn't want me to put my faith in the immediate gratification of spending. i have blundered in my own inability and have no one else to blame but myself. until i moved into the grand and had a brand new car i didn't have as much of a struggle, but now i am without extra moolah to help me. this is definitely a new year of learning and growing. i am no longer able to avoid or deny adulthood, nor do i want to. i think i find myself so often in libo. i am solo, and in a profession, but have not got the family thing going on. i am grateful for all that i have and more. i am in a great position to do a whole lot, but there are other things that i want to share and enjoy.

i know my feelings are commonly and familiar to some of those out there. i honestly have not one thing to complain about. i am encouraged by what i see in my life and have no reason to live in shame. i will take off, i will leave the legacy, i will not bow to negative thoughts about my life and what i am doing. i will trust and obey, simply.