tilt:seasons&dreams

i watch a little bit of television from where you see me sitting in this chair. most afternoons, five until six, little house on the prarie finds it's way onto fox sixty one. i used to wish and dream and believe i'd be the next "laura ingalls wilder" when i grew up. i am a bit embarassed to admit i memorized the shows entire opening credits all of which include the actors/actresses names. bah!

i cannot remember what i used to dream about as a little girl other than the prarie and nellie olsen. i know that i didn't have regular dreams of having a husband, marriage or children, those kinds didn't come until my mid-twenties. i had dreams of being a airforce pilot, a chef, and i think a pro soccer player. i remember when i started journaling though and have kept those secret pages hidden from most eyes except for my mom, who at times needed the cryptic info, to unravel her teenage daughters downward spiral. i tried this morning to go back and find my old old old diaryland account:blog, but that's all awash, a nogo. all this to say:

spring has sprung, all abloom. except for the freezing temps i woke up to this morning, and thru the end of the week. i'm glad for the cool breath of thirty degrees and too a little bit warmer weather but seriously dread the heat and humidity of our southren summer. i think my indoor plants are doing better now, this weird winter seemed to take it's toll, considering too, that all the light i get is indirect northren sun. my aloe, orchid, and orange tree are each showing new growth. bamboo on the other hand. well. i'm not so sure only because i'm not looking at it as much, just making sure it gets water.

the seasons are slowly disappearing and becoming one long hot summer i think. have you all read any wendell berry? the gift of good land. or how about barbara kingsolver? small wonder. i'm in the middle of it, steeped in the thick of feeling, thinking about green, pondering the reality of our environmental distruction or whatever you wanna call it. my aunt cathy has some land and used to have a garden. a fairly big garden. i think she and my uncle have cleared the land, more room for caleb, liam and sam to tromp around on (maybe?). could i do it, make a garden grow again? could i make this land a source of food for her family and my family. or should i start small and go for the land at the back of my mom and dad's garage? oh the ideas... could i make time? i mean when i dream now as a thrity something year old woman i think of opening up an orphanage, fostering teenage children, making a city garden in my apartment parkinglot sideyard thingy. i dream of recycled fenceposts and tincan scarecrows. i think of seeds and occassionally pull out my gardening journal, one that i kept while working for NK Lawn and Garden company as a what? a horticultrual specialist, oh brother, i'm not even close.

i love these ideas: five senses swap: swap meat: books to check out: apron chronicles: crabtree farms are there anymore you'd like to add?