computer additions

here again is a lovely photo from veer. you ought to really check it out. there are so many photos to pick from and ways to search for specs. i intentionally was looking for images with the color orange. this seemed nice, much like the robot in an earlier post. we all have ways of endorsing, broadcasting and showing off our works of art, words of art and thoughts. i often times don't have much to say here, but a picture says quite a bit. i know that you are supposed to pay veer for their products, and i've said it before, but why don't they put some sort of block on their photos? i don't feel morally obligated at this point, i'm not copping the stuff as my own. give credit where credit is due or be sued. right?

the office has been quiet today. although that is because two of my direct co workers are out. i had a crap o la morning due to the fact that every time i turned around there was a patient at my window or their windows, a phone call, or a printer issue. i would just like a day when nothing, absolutely nothing goes awry. these are the sorts of days i feel free enough to do a little bit more www surfing. if you know what i mean? getting a way with a little bit more blogging time. so this is what i have done and you may have noticed. i am taking the steps to include some of you little by little into the growth, one year old baby of mine, "phantomcrimes." i started my, 'knowing me by my roots' the friendships and works of others that inspire me and push me to grow into a family tree. 'dinocam ph2s' are open for your veiwing pleasure. i feel less inclined to share so many photos with you, on the condition that you won't make fun of the pictorial quality or the subject matter. i am an experimentor, not a trendsetter dudes! there is also 'the past', which are obviously my last entries and then 'another life,' which is fitting considering the fact that my one year anniversary is right around the corner and i feel a life away from where i began here one year ago. does that make sense?

so there you have it. i know lots of fellow bloggers work towards some fun way of celebrating the time gone by, but i have no clue. forget it, i'm not a sport for putting something up for you. no cake, no ballons, no firecrackers. just the disabling of your minds.


take a number

there was enough for me to do this weekend, i actually ran out of time. i also wanted to see a and a again, but did not feel so much like watching a film. motorcycle diaries, i am sure you have seen it. i have spent no money on movie going recently, nor have i been renting any of those dvds. i got into watching a bit of wimbeldon and started big fish all over again, but didn't watch it all the way through. i had to work on friday and saturday, which was not too bad. i have begun to see how customers that come into the rx on the weekends are much more stressed and generally very rude. i have a small theory about their demise on the loveliest of weekends. first off, they attempt to spend time with their families, cramming in as much activity as virtually possible, though realistically impossible. they are accustomed to spending the entire week away from the family and that is nice, especially for working parents, who are weak ass and cannot handle their own kids. weekends tend to be times when people are more needy and want more than they can get. they've spent their days out on the lake, boat or at little league baseball games and they are grumpy, hot, irratible and too impatient. i do not think that cvs is a difficult place to shop. but people act like their worlds are about to fall apart when the rx doesn't have something they think it ought. ice cream? ping pong balls? doral cigarettes? one hour photo?

i got a package off to one of my friends yesterday. it has taken a long time, well over due. but i hope she likes it and it's a surprise for her. i also got a couple letters out, to some of my snailmail pals. that was enjoyable, due to the fact that i've gotten some great stationary. i started another series of potholders, the first of many decoupage boxes to come. i ate my granola on ice cream and took off with the crossword puzzles. i started reading the da vinci code a couple of weeks ago, spent an hour in my cozy queen, snugglin bunglin snoozin and semi thinking the book could be better. i have been totally influenced by ep's point of view on the subject.

i started wearing my summer skirts and am working on my spectacular sunless tan. per jergens glow, the regional hit. kate came up from atl and we spent a part of sunday together. we talked shop, art, baby this and that, saw a man get arrested outside of my building, car towed and the bit. eden b slept most of the time and i couldn't believe the pics kate took of josiah at coolidge park. fantastic times!

yesterday i was going to hang out with aaron and ashleigh and possibly laurie, they had made other plans. i went for this enormous walk around the southside. i rarely have the op and the sun was so hot and i was frigid in my apt. (never have to pay heating or air, cranking it up). i met cesna at his studio and a guy, jerry who is an artist. people or rather tourists were out all over the place. totally exciting. mad and blasted beat cops protecting the tourists from the residence of this city. saw it on the news believe it or not. the city has got to make the moolah.

i started a new bird painting too. the activity has worn me out and tonight i've got to work. yuck.


travel channel with ac

we woke up in new jersey this morning @ six thirty, explaining these thoughts, comprehending the experience. driving through semi eighteen wheels precisely there to intimidate us. keep me alert laurie. play the song louder in my ear. watch your corners, use your blinker. safe and keeping homeward bound. via the northeast excursions for their anniversary, summer vacations. it turns out that new york is easy to drive through once you get there, once you've found amsterdam. wall street is heavier than i thought and the un, the un, isn't that where we should be putting the pressure on? there is a empty space of controversey in place where the towers were. it is bundled up in layers upon layers of mesh fencing. a blank stare, one more open wound, scratching the surface. dc highlights bring the smithsonian front and center. five hours and barely touching the surface, but the holocaust museum and daniel the child you followed through, he taught you about his life. the scenes and signs behind the window blinds. there were facts, not as gruesome as auschwitz though. oh and i saw sean puffy combs, are you sure? how did you know. girls were giggling all over the place, he had a massive bodyguard. brushed shoulders with him and paced over his sidewalk footsteps. i cannot believe it, your ninth grade students are going to flip.

we spent an entire day with dad's, mother and father at the masonic home. i know i did that and it was absolutely amazing. yes and they do seem more active than we are, how do they remain so vibrate and young. the energy level as off the scales. well yes i know they are retired and so so so happy. i played every piano and organ, i ran out of things to play. i saw the computer rooms on every single floor.

you brought back ashleigh with you. for ten days. why can't she stay longer. oh how we wish she were older, but georgia said she was so cute.

oh and then there was georgia. my personal body double. although we aren't exactly of the same character and personality the common ground is there. and then last night at the same time, at the pickle barrel, after aaron, laurie and lil ashleigh left i sat and discussed with someone the ins and outs of genre specific rights, feminisim, family "values" or the lack there of, and why i feel the way i do about my value as a woman, my part in society, my role in a relationship, my position at work, et cetera. i may be strange or odd because i know what i want. georgia, melinda, and marcus said they had no idea what they want in a relationship. geez, i am sorry. as unsympathetic as it may sound i'd say when you don't know what you want you are probably on the edge of being someone no one wants. i pitch a fit about the quality of men, these days, all the time. my exaggeration is obvious isn't it? but i certainately know and feel comfortable with who i am and what the right way to go about making a relational choice.

i feel the insecurity just about like everyone else does. i think the true difference, which may make me a better balance in this discussion is that i am far more willing to accept my failure. it is just as hard for me as it is for the next person, but i can accept responsibility. in grace i am entirely free. mostly free of myself, free of trying moments, endless struggle, and broken relationships. there is not pride other than that which christ has given to me to share with others. i am glad though for the opportunity to speak with these peers of mine. the distance between myself and society often feels like great depths. i tend to accept a portion of my life and forget about all of the rest. i tire of the boring self examinating, over analytical disscussion. but at the same time, last night was a pleasant experience, that led me to a late night tossing and turning, counting.

there is news on the homefront: mom and dad went to court on tuesday and the judge granted my parentals temporary guardianship of emily, little em. i may have mentioned it already, but it deserves the attention. the battle thus far has been won and we can praise god for his mercy, grace, love and victory.

i also made for the first time the granola that kate was so dear to include on her site. my first attempt got a thumbs up from ole mb, so that's good. it sure does make a whole hell of a lot of grand ola!!! thank you kate, i'll let you know about how the ole granola goes thru me. chewy so far, but i suppose it needed to bake a bit longer. i like the raisins, but i don't know so much about the amounts of flour/wheat germ or whatever. i made it work. hi fi gi.


oh my father

i've got this new little program on my pc here at the workforce that allows me to enhance these otherwise dull looking collages. i appreciate the small things yet although i've worked with photoshop on my home pc, before. i shouldn't have it here at work, i'd be so distracted, that's all i would do. but the colors look so much nicer as well as the hint of scotch tape on the corners. woohoo is my reply. this was a college i may have posted before. i did it back several years ago, probably like 5 or so for a bridal shower invite. actually i know i've posted it before, oh well. here it is new and improved.

before i move forward with this post i want to give a big huge shout out to kate knutson. congrats on getting your beautiful, long awaited, paintings from norway. the work is incredible. a bravo, pass me not oh gentle awakening. do not miss out on this work! kate and her husband joel, spent an entire year in norway, studying their minds, hearts and souls out. she was fortunate to beable to paint and her growth is completely, utterly, humbly obvious. i am posting my two favorites, incase you miss them, which i don't think you should.

over the last few years i believe my family has become more of a cohesive unit. we are all still in the same area and we've even taken in a couple of girls who really needed a better home. i'd say with in the last five years my family has grown twofold with the addition of laurie and mary, smoore and emoore. one of the reasons i suppose it stricks me today is that we celebrated father's day last week all together. we had an amazing time. not something i can quite articulate that well, but less magical and more magnificant, less arbitrary, more like a quick rush of adrenline to my brain and heart. i would lay my life down for my family. pathetically in some ways they are my closest, most dearest friends. mc suggested that she and i go to epik and have our hair and nails done one day before the gulf shores beach trip. how considerate she was to think of me, knowing that i've lost weight and need the premature greys to disappear beneath a great pallette of mahagony and red rocker streaks. we've decided to make a day of it. but for god's sake i never thought i'd be this close to my sister in law. a blessing.

my father is my family's most important member in many ways though. it is with great honor that i can call out my father and he is there there there. no man measures. over the years the man has grown and has been humble enough to allow his children to be apart of his mental, emotional and spiritual growth. he has been a faithful husband to my mother for 31 years, a hard working, devoted character; quiet and awkwardly bookish at times, the wit of a pickle. i enjoy my father as his knowledge brings my joy, comfort, peace and reconciliation. he is a much happier man now as well which makes my family and i so so so happy. he very rarely complains about his job or how tired he is or how we crowd his space, crashed his cars, ruined his financial credit, exploited his graces, and trampled his love. he continually points us in our almighty father's direction. i am overwhelmed by what we are because of my father. i understand that there are many blessed families out there in the world, but what i comprehend is why men are demoralized and made fun of. why have we taken their strength away from them? what did women need by going to work everyday. the freedom was not ours for the taking. i am thankful that my father is intelligent, i am grateful for his enduring faith, lasting love and passive patience. i am thankful that i am like him in so many great ways. my thoughts will be of my father this weekend. i just ask that i might find a man like him someday.

yet another note:

i think i am going to start pointing you all in some less obsure directions, so look forward to my favorite music of the week entry, my favorite book of the week, my favorite graffiti, my favorite artist, my favorite inch, my favorite colors et cetera.


multi migration

i know that as of late the 'bird' thing has become terribly popular. without a doubt birds have made a comeback, or maybe they never went away to begin with. there are so many artists who work with the concept that i feel a minute speck of one, when it comes to my small attempts at including birds in my work. when i was in highschool art class, lauren would say, 'you should become an illustrator, possibly a medical illustrator.' my response was usually 'umm, maybe...' i can really see myself now becoming an observer of nature and doing small drawings and collage of birds, insects and rainy overcast landscapes. muddied with knats and mosquitos. i'd like to find a studio actually. i never have once looked for a space to soley use as procreation space. i'd ravage the place i'm sure, doubtful of having enough money to pay rent. i'd eventually find my easel and spare parts out on a main street sidewalk. maybe that's what i need to do in addition to changing churches, changing jobs, increasing work hours, finding a new city to live in; i ought to look for a studio space. wow. have i not thought of this before?

i am sure that i have, just never quite an option. but what about the internet and an ipod or psp? do i need a gaget, i doubt it furiously!

so here are my favorite bird type artists and their work. a multi migration of the beauty and reverence, the many perspectives of birds.

lisa c. in san fran creating the hi and lo fi modbirds i so so love to see.

and the nice work of amy, the best of color in girl-owl style. just can't believe she thought of it first, reminds me of imsmitten. reminds me that i've got to get on the 'bird' ball. so to speak.

and look who we have here and see how she's pointing us in the 'birds take flight' direction

please if you are bored at this point, don't be, you all have probably all seen the work of tania, but relish in it now. she has been hard at work, making all these bird oriented bobbles, buttons, and more. there is opportunity to purchase her work here. fly fanstatic fly

okay, so i've gone through a little bit of the best in bird inspiration. i'll have to wait until another day to be another one of those people who bring you the same stuff over and over again. but hell it's promo time isn't it?

and look, i'm going to the doctor today. i hope all goes well with me. this past month my female body took a terrible internal tumble that i can't quite explain. i am hopping that doc jones can call the shot, without bc or surgery. maybe i hurt because of stress and weight loss. we shall see.

also i'm not working tonight, horray i'm off. riverbend has hit chattanooga, so i've been avoiding the south side of the river. i don't usually hang out down there anyway, but the city has done a ton of work and it must be very nice. i am more afraid of toothless hags buying half priced pregnancy tests, but the bends just doesn't quite cut it anymore. although my friends kate and joel would absolutely love to see pat benatar, would you?



three strikes

you all must swerve through or take a detour by some of these great things that people all over the world are doing. it isn't just your typical little illustrators, graphic design humpsters, or mad hater dragsters. there are some real life more more more than hack out there and all it takes from people like you is to read, listen and learn. i feel that i maybe going through an entirely new educational experience that has nothing to do with the academia of our here united we stand divided society. i'm not really what you'd call a college advocate, but sure as hell i'll push you to read and sort through the thousands and millions of resources out there. at one point in visual history people must've thought we'd grown stagnant and stifled, but alas we may certainately see a new brand and recycle of recycle. i love the animated war of characters. it proves to me people still have great non batman like imaginations. not that i wouldn't love to see some of that great original print from batman artists be incorporated into the newer movie. if we've got digital why don't we use it to blend mediums more and let that be seen.

i'd love to do a compliation with someone. a short animated sewn paper film (digital of course), maybe with some great old 8mm mixed in for the scratched vintage feel. i just remember some of the great film i saw while out in california and see myself in another life producing grandier things. i just can't stand some of the stuff i do. you know how that goes though. the problem is that i have nothing that looks the same all the way around. these artists who produce a character or concept...that's what school is for i think.

i mean why am i still painting on canvas, people have been doing it for hundreds of years. i attempt to spice the mix up a bit by using 4 canvases here, but i'm unpleased and feel varied in my growth. i'd like to do bigger, monumental work that spans the globe and my street sidewalk.

while i'm at it here's a link to some other things i've done in the past, photo quality is a little lower, but you'll get the jist. misty eyed mornings and bring buddha back from the dead earth please. torn to tidbits sized pieces of paper and wax to cover the earth.

i didn't tell, but thursday night last week i was having the great fam collier over for father's day and wahlah i was attempting to use eggcups as candle holders and so i was melting wax on my kitchen stove to pour into the cups to meld the candles inside, while at that i was also cleaning up my bathroom, long disgusting time sense i cleaned it. and my cellie was ringing, thank god. and i saw the small pot of wax smoking smoking smoking. so i hurried to pull the pot of the stove and wax flew out and caught the burner on fire. boom, splash boom. the terror didn't exactly end there either. when i did get the hot wax into the eggcups the candles started melting and bending over. one of the fell and the wax fell all over the front of my stove. how terrible.

i like this more than other things. i like the idea that people felt enough to create something around our sense of touch. totally look at the things this female is doing, i so wish she'd put together a daily blog sort of thing. i am physically inspired to shake my paper creations apart. you should too!!! bustapapermove.

thanks to tania for finding this site for all of us to enjoy. i'm just going to do my blogduty and share it with the rest o yous.

well i hope this helps you warp your mind into a very different mode. i'm down three strikes, i'm outta here.


work wobble

i am getting my footing. i am getting my strength. and i have had the last few days off from work, so i should be rested and comfortable, but hell today, tuesday has been difficult. i don't mind so much because i am beginning to realise there is nothing i can do. it is all out of my hands and i have done all that i can to resolve the major issues.

i am happy to say that i had a most beautiful weekend with two of my very bestest friends in the world. kate took time out of her very busy mommie life to be with dear old erin from nyc. there's nothing like old friends, grace at it's best. the little time away from chattanooga does truly help. i also think that having very balanced critique and discussion of art, family, children, community, faith and the sort, makes all this workforce shit, 100% better. now i wish that the great lu and the lovely h along with...

fenn in the red sweater of course, just might come together someday. the riches are great when i'm not so clouded up on the inside. i sure do miss fenn. i know she's down there in lakeland, trudging away, but i can't stand that she's not up here. and oh if only h and lu, to be in one spot for just a day. how exciting that sounds. we went to one of my favorite places in marietta, harry's whole foods. yum. i bought sesame sticks, pistachio's, spinach, apples, rosemary shampoo and citrus soap by burt's bees for my face. oh i love harry's and there's nothing like it here in chatt. greenlife is 6 times smaller and several amounts more expensive. we went and ate pizza and drank coffee on the patio for hours. eden b. slept most of the time and josiah and i made up songs about guitars and rough housed while the adults played adults. erin and i made strange things happen to the knutson's coffee grinder. and i had joel take photos of us for posterity. and for fenn. i appreciate the friendships i have, so valuable. and the new ones i am beginning to find in these vast spaces of the www. i just need more balance in my life and maybe i won't feel so rough and tumble.

i am almost finished with my very first apron and kate was sweet to pick up some more ribbon for me. but i'm working every night and day for the next 14 days so i'll need some energy to make these projects happen. i miss the days of friends so close. and look at the thought hilary has begun sorting out on her blog. can you believe the momentum here girls? do you understand what it is we have? do be thankful. and thank you.


whiff whacker

three cheers for the three bestest peeps in the world today. i am not so depressed or struggling within my personal life as much as learning how to deal with not having any money here at uoha. i don't know how not to cry and whine about how difficult work is right now. i know and have faith that it is going to get better, but when the good ole docs are hanging over my head asking me where the moolah is, it makes things more than intense.

but i'll be over easily and quickly, you are right you guys, totally one hundred percent correct. in the midst of it such a difficult time it is way too easy to forget the actual blessing of it all. i am thankful for the fact that we have new pc's and a new update, windows based medical software. i am thankful for the opportunity to learn and i am actually thankful for the time of great humility in the matter. i often am shocked and drained because my mind isn't worthy of holding so much at one time.

last night i had my family come over to celebrate father's day early. aaron and laurie are going on a ten day cross the eastern coast trip. they'll be hitting up new jersey, new york, dc, and maybe a few other spots, so we had to get together before the ninteenth. laurie made a yummy homeade oreo cheesecake and i decided to get folger's mocha fusion, ice cream and coffee and ice and mix up some hot summer cool down drinks.