8.31.2005

grief relief in sovereignty


with all that shakes, shatters and strikes a monumental catastrophy like katrina turns my stomach inside out. i am far from humbled enough. far from a healthy amount of fear for the power of christ, the almighty force behind destruction here and there. i am terribly aware of the death, but have not truly felt it until today. i cannot imagine, nor will i pretend to understand the feelings. i may have lost a whole lot of nothing in the housefire, three years ago, but i wasn't a refugee, a wanderer. my aunt offered her guest room to me for a month while i looked for a new apartment. my family, especially mom and pops helped tremendously at the time. it was devastating at the time and now i barely remember all of the feelings, except when i see and hear footage from this last weeks weather events.

one side note: while watching the weather the other night the weatherman mentioned "a great big slug of a storm approaching!" have you ever heard such a term? when did weathermen start using such profanity while predicting the weather.

i held and petted a trantula last night at a friend of a friends home. the female T. was quite pleasant and light as a feather. her name is mel mel melissa. or maybe mellie, sorta like nellie. i could not get along with a spider, much like i do not like cats or even dogs. but i would most definitely need a bird, someday. spiders have organs like humans, except their heart, brain, lungs and ovaries all seem to be about the same size. can you imagine, spider ovulation? yikes! here we are at the end of the month. i was able to finally get out a small package to good ole melissa c. funny how when you begin a correspondence with someone, you grow to be so familiar with them. much like hannah, the news of her pregnancy, bringing me as much joy, as if it were a dear family member or friend. i am also amazed at my dorkiness, sheer dork ish. i happened to have a doctor's appointment back in july, my regular gyn check up and so i decided to take my notecards, sift thru the letters, and write a few pals back. i always must wait and wait forever at dr. jones office. yuck. i don't even like reminding myself of the wait there. i began a letter to hannah and whalah! was called in the middle of the letter to a room. just slipped the card into the envelope, sealed and delievered. right there in the middle of writing, i'm sure a splendid little sentence. how dork-ish is that? so hannah shoots me and email yesterday and asks, why the mysteriousness? there is no mystery, even though i'm all about hiding and only slightly giving clues. i would like to offer my formal regrets here:( oh brother.

crafting time is coming this way. with the weekend off, or at least the majority. i'm sure i'll find some time to delve into the apron unknown again. just ask lu, what kind of a seamstress i am. dainty my ass-tronaut! all in good fun and handi-work. lately i haven't felt like blogging so much. instead i've been writing a whole hell of a lot in my "paper" journal. so much to wonder. i am amazed by life and subdued my it's incongruencies and parallel's. irony playing with irony at every corner. i am at once tired and without sleep and insomnia rules. the sirens, streetsweepers, and sidewalk conversations crowd out even the slightest urge to doze. i'll catch up come sunday. missing the craft. hopes and great prayers for grief relief stretch like we bloggers across the country to new orleans, mississippi, the gulf gulf gulf. ahh! what about cafe' de monde's? saint bernard's campground? oh well.

5 comments:

sweethc said...

You and me both writing things down the old fashioned way. Actually, I have a new journal waiting to be used. I am trying to fill my current one with "quality" thoughts and information...yea, whateva!

dopeattic said...

if i had a way, i'd put pages of my journal on my blog, the handwriting part is really quite theraputic. i also can sit and take notes on life. "i dropped outta school, so i could start learnin.' kanya west

Melissa said...

Got your package in the mail, it was so nice! Thanks for the goodies, I loved the gift box, you are quite fab at collage. I think it's great that you write in a journal - handwriting is becoming such a lost art - its a shame really. At the high school I'm at, we let our students journal when they're having really bad days because it is so therapuetic. Anyways, seeing all those pics of Katrina's devastation has just been heartbreaking. I never thought the day would come when we would have our own "refugees" in America - its just terrible!

Cat Furniture said...
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Smallman said...
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