10.18.2005

the waiting trait



there is nothing like the feeling of getting over. how i get over is a miracle in itself. i make a choice to believe that getting over a day, over a week, over a sour relationship, crappy waiting, loss of life, "the" war, my tired witless work, this tiny sprouting overwhelming insecurity is the grace, i said the GRACE of my father, my god. i was praying last night, falling asleep as often i do-do at around one a.m. praying and then thinking of how in god's grace he allows me to fall, he allows me the freedom to fall, so that i might realize his awesome power, his awesome strength, the neverending joy in knowing him, speaking with him on these subjects. i fall minutely, every last detail of my life is a fall. i am terribly blessed to be on the waiting list having that waiting trait in my genetics, feeling it in my blood, pulsing through my heart. to see my god, christ i know him.

this go around i have tried to understand that my anger will well up and i'll get pissed at the smallest of details. so i have found that this acknowledgement of my sin is the first step to repentence and healing. i really really want the healing to begin. always.

i must say that in all of this blog world you see a strength amass. i see people expressing themselves in these tedious ways that speak so clearly that we are incredible, that we humans have the power with god to mend not only our craft, not only a homes, but our neighborhoods and our larger communities. at different times i have caught wind of a "scrapbooking" superiority conflict, but it is rare and unfounded. i see sharing of ideas and product that goes beyond selfish gain and fortitude. i see the building up of women in all ways. so with that said i'd like to honor with my words my dearest friend kate. her art is a true inspiration that deserves full attention.

i spent the weekend with her in marietta/cartersville at the 34/84fest. i thought prior to going down there that she's have success. i believed that she would and that god would bless her with a monumental affirmation of her gift. sure enough this woman brought god the glory by getting the best of show. she was fairly discouraged about all of the prep going into the fest and even the buying response last year may have tainted her feelings but in god we sat at the tent waiting on the people he wanted to see her work. that is all we had to do. trust him to bring the right people. and he did. the judge/juror who gave her the prize!!!

anyway, if you are out there thinking i am crazy for expressing all this about god and stuff, i'd like to be the first to annouce my craziness and the fact that i am not afraid of this sort of crazy. it is a peaceful feeling, looking forward without fear. without trepidation! we are all waiting, those who are not believers and those who are. waiting waiting waiting for that day. oh how i am looking forward to just tonight and spending it with my dear friends and family.

1 comment:

m.a. hatch said...

well said! it is in our brokenness that we try oh so hard to hide that He is glorified.