a different person

we started the biggest loser in our office on february 14. i participated and lost fifteen pounds in 2005. this year weighing in at 147 and 3/4 i have a goal weight lose of 30 pounds. i may seem totally crazy, but if you only knew. honestly i am not even five feet tall. and in highschool i weighed 100-110 pounds. i have done very much in last eight/nine years or so. i've just kinda let my image lay waste, sloth style. i hadn't owned a full length mirror since 2004 and did truly see myself until christmas 2005, which is when pic left was taken. i'm not exactly photogenic, but i rarely feel the need to hide my averagity (not a word, i'm sure). i have nearly never worn make up and have only recently begun making strides at becoming or looking more like a thirty year old woman.

i struggle with making my appearance the most important thing ever. so i error on the side of not trying and not caring. it comes down to being rebellious about looking nice. geez, i was a teenager in the grunge era. my little sisters have no idea what the grunge was like. times oh they've changed. so far in my weight lose this year i've dropped seven pounds. i probably won't win the money, even if i'm currently in a tie with three other people. i have until the day before memorial day. four weeks isn't it? i picked up two pound weights for my legs and arms and wear them whenever i walk. i have become more motivated and energetic about my appearance, whereas before i'd shrug the responsibilty. i think i can tell the difference between the two photos. i am not trying to brag or boast. to me it is a serious thing. it scares me and makes me think about how quickly i became obese. and i know that the older i get the more difficult it will become to lose unhealthy weight.

a nice new haircut helps a whole lot too. i like the whole short style in the back and long in the front. helps me feel feminine, afterall. so onto other things, supposing a little less personal. but before i move on i must say how much i love the grey shirt. it maybe the shirt of the summer for me. oh and i know it's not self portrait tuesday. i'm just a little...i don't know.

i worked on my bicycle painting last night. i think i like how it's coming along. can't wait to show it off. how did you all like the links yesterday. and have you all be catching and keeping up with all that is the news. man i suppose it's been forever since i watched television. i got my swap partner for the vintage love swap and i'm super excited about gathering the goods. she totally seems like this ultra cool girl. i especially like her blog. check it out here. see what i mean? that's probably all i've got in me. i'm working tonight and this weekend so i'm kinda blah. but the weather has been absolutely wonderful and i've had two nights open window paint times. so i shouldn't be complaining. i'm not complaining.


greenbean mama said...

well i think you are beautiful!!!!! you are a shorty like me :) and that is the latest pic of you, the one in the grey shirt? that is a cute cut and a cute shirt! i think its great that you are focusing on your appearance more as long as you are getting more happy and confident!!! we all need that... and you are a beautiful female so why hide?! and you are 30??????????????????????? OH MY GOSH! YOU LOOK MY AGE (24) that is awesome!!! and yeah, as we get older we discover better foods :) but you do what makes you truly truly happy! cuz nobody can boost your confidence better than you(and yeah, that can be hard at times... but well worth it!)

take care! and if your lil sisters are around my age, they outta know about the grunge look... either that, or its an artist thang ;)

(my old blogger account)

Rebecca said...

these are great photos. you are so photogenic. often we're our worst critic.