aretha's and the train masters game was so good for me last night. i needed a break from my stuffy apartment and green paper quilt collage. but for some reason all i feel like doing today is complaining. honestly my eyebrows have been knitted all morning, my eleven wrinkle is forming a battleline, my mind a bee's nest of conflicting thought and destruction. i am dinocat, hear me ROAR!!! i am going to have to put on the breaks or else i'm going to find myself in a collison course with well, something not so pretty.
i am over it. i have come to a conclusion and resolution. not anything i really want to share about right now, but it is all going to be alright. i will survive. i will thrive. i will grow. i will be strong. sounds ridiculous, much like a cat-anthem. i was sort of just upset because being single means that many people (in love) want to help me but the idea that i have to be fixed or helped is actually the most bothersome thing in the whole entire world. a long story short: this single woman mythbusters part 1:
a. i am not lonely or depressed
b. i have lots of friends
c. i am an artist who loves her space and her free time to be alone, reflective, and quiet
d. i love children but probably would like to foster +/ adopt
e. i am not indebt and do not need a man to help me financially become stable
f. i do not want to marry a man who has been married before or who has children from a previous relationship
g. i am not desperate and believe my high standards are perfectly fine
h. god wants me to be with a christian man and not just be a procreation station
i. i do like men, even though i think we are culture breeding weakness in men and that feminism will be the death and porn is hell, no matter what kind of marriage you have now, whether your man dropped the porn soon after you married him or not. i do not want to be compared to a twelve year old hairless baby girl.
oh so?whatcha gotta say?
tomorrow i will have better things to share. thank you mom for your quick and wise outlook. thank you kate for your free love and accountability and bird caps. thank you jen for your phonecalls and lovely new post.


Your Mom said...

I love your statement of "independence". WOW! what a great person you are.
Your statment kind of reminds me of a series on NPR called "This I Believe"
I think it would be cool for you to take those statements and incorporate them in to an essay that follows the form of "This I Believe".
I love you,

katiek said...

Tall order for a man!! Just kidding. In my heart I would love to just run into a guy just right for you, but in my mind I leave it alone. I will always be on your case about getting out, beyond your safety zone and use some of your "precious alone time" for stretching and growing with a community. Of course, you can always say no. I'm your coach and your cheerleader, I think your great and you can be greater still! Thanks for your props, they are always appreciated.

linda said...

hooray for an occasional vent! this is refreshing. I always hated how our culture perpetuates this idea that if you're single you are not quite complete.this coming from former a man-hater who swore i'd never marry. needles to say, swept off my feet at 21. Praise God that you are content to be just where God has you, and if he decides to have you swept off you're feet he won't need anybodies help.