fullness:a morning of c.o.l.o.r

this a.m. i woke up with an energy i have not felt in quite some time. i could have jumped right out of bed when national public alarmed me at six forty. instead i kept as still as possible, a dream uninterrupted until seven thirty. the light in my apartment wept, saturating just about everything. i watered my orchid and one bamboo shoot, decided to copy others and take note of the inside of my dishwasher. my melmine dishes made me think:installation. the painting given to me by one bff, katie k. hangs now, above my kitchen sink. one of only two pieces of actual art hanging on my walls. a self portrait reminding me of the past:white house apt. again i found my package from tammy. i'm slow to remove even the most lovliest things from the box, i want the pleasure, the feeling of unwrapping it everyday.
it could all be because i walked from my place all the way down to the fish {aquarium} place and back last night, at least a couple of miles, 14th street down to 3rd or second and back. or maybe i felt full. full of thankfulness again. full of excellant hummus and rewinded conversations with snl mary c. at bigriver last early evening. women's night. live funky music. and flies swarming around my pile of chickpeas.

maybe in the night a senitment came upon my like a memory fills a hole in your spirit after great joy, great sorrow, great struggle, or rather great strength. nothing can overcome me now even in the midst of indecision and compulsion to quit work for the day. possible bike ride with matt or a thousand mile walk. i look forward to the momentum of making art again. i'm certainately encouraged and committed and confronted with a variety of paper matters, medium matters, and personal whimsy ways.

i will bring up my nana again because even though she's past i am so so happy i had my her here, near me in her last months. and now my mother who is venturing soon from a traditional career, to pursue grant writing, vintage apron making and caleb watching, excites me and makes me wonder and thankful more and again. she and i are going to write:illustrate:publish our owb children's books. i know it.

these and a mirad of things are all full of love and color bringing hope. on this thursday at the end of may. may you be filled up. tell me how you have found the fullness.

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