i cherish every friday. fridays at work are often more relaxed and filled with interesting conversation and catch up news from the week. i have noticed in myself something, getting better, probably a growing happiness. its rare for me to feel a little bit of joy and not know exactly where it's coming from. i know that the sweet alternative to chocolate or gummie bears are my favorite spice cookies. i made my second batch in a month, spicy little rounds of soft cookie, umm. when the dough is spread thin and cut into shapes the cookies become crunchy and fit for the christmas time type of cookie but during these months of lowering temps, the softer side of this cookie reminds me more of halloween and thanksgiving. i tend to make myself sick on them. i barely have any regrets about it though. after all i am back to a little more exercise these days.

i am currently conducting a serious stand off with my laundry. and continue to think that breakfast tomorrow with my dad is going to be so nice. i guess after this week is over i'll get back to making stuff. i was kind of waiting to see how life and the trees i have created so far, were going to pull me. i am thinking i've got a few more trees in me and i've not yet tapped the wealth of growth and variation by making more trees. whats more i haven't even begun to do trees at night, a whole other story and forest approach.

the inspiration continued this week when i received my copy of 3191 in the mail. i think i found a little bit of myself in the book and what a surprise. i dunno if it's stupid of me or not, i barely care but, on toward the back of this delightful celebration of a book, i believe i found amidst the comments, a comment i made in april 07 in response to one of the photo comps. i recall writing and thinking about how the word "enjoy" just did not feel as good as the word "in" joy as a way to describe how i felt about this specific diptych. i guess in some senses that is how i have begun to feel about looking at my own life. to enjoy feels a little less. what enjoy has to offer is more like a command and to say i am enjoying something feels a lot like having to try really hard. but "in" joy i feel like i have more get up and go about the whole of life. you have to be in it to "in" joy it. and too, i feel like it is "in" joy that i ought to be more thankful and to be less apathetic about jumping into life, whatever that may be from day to day. my week did not feel so mundane but i know that i've felt the enormity of monotonous tasks and the weight of having to be and do something. i have also begun to consider the fact that having joy and "in"joying is a serious choice and it must be made everyday. no joke about it. with that i'm off to either sit and watch televison or do laundry, or maybe both.



for breakfast, lunch or dinner, oatmeal made my way is the best and probably not the most nutritious.  my secret here, is to turn the heat up high before dumping in the oats, i tend to let the oats cook a few seconds before mixing in the water.  seems ridiculous, like who cares, right?  the oats stay separate from one another and the mix ends up being less mushy and more well, appetizing.  like pasta cooked the right way.  and pecans.  pecans with that perfect sort of smoky flavor.  what better way to warm up to the beginning of the end of the year.  oatmeal is what i am making while i stay home this week.  plus isn't it proven to lower cholesterol?  



in honor of stay at home week it seems like a good idea to remind oneself of what's good about being home.  

i came home from work and found a large watermark in the ceiling of my small hallway.  i found a broomstick to punch at the mark with, to see how sopping wet it might really be.  it wasn't.  the leaking ceiling thing has happened before, once when my "above me" neighbor left his bathtub to overflow.   i know how much moving is going to be a challenge for me but, it is becoming more of reality everyday.  i have flip-flopped between buying or continuing to rent and i think, due to the housing flimflam, i'll wait to buy and settle on the rent.  i am alright with that as long as i can find something downtown.  the leaky ceiling will help me find a more suitable living arrangement when i am ready.  i know that and that's why it's good for me, to stay at home.  surf the apartment guides and chose wisely and be diligent in this.

i have a huge pile of clothing that has piled up, the giveaway kind and it'll be nice to add to that pile and donate it this week.  check in, i might not even get to it.  

crossword puzzles are my secret before bed time addiction.  i neglected to find the upcoming bookclub book at any of my local bookstores so i am afraid i won't be attending this month.  i have no idea what it might be like to go to bed with someone every night after years of not, having some kind of personal before bed time ritual.  crosswords remind of the laundry i need to do and the sheets that needed to be washed and changed.  

there is cleaning to do, major cleaning.  i know all that i have done in the last months has been to make tons of art.  i have a break until a little while.  a week.  maybe?  before i oughta get back to it.  like i keep saying, i'm going to.  mopping and washing and organizing doesn't seem as fun as looking at cute, inspiring things on the web.

there is so much to do in one week.  a lot to be thankful for if all i did not want to do and decided to look.  there's a bridge for chattanooga, if i get bored of being at home this week.  there are about a billion "bail-out" of the things i ought to do-things and great art to look at on flickr, to study and be again and again thrilled by.  anyone else tired of wallstreet//gov-funding 101, join me in looking around this week. 

a.  k masback - reminds me that line+color=joy
b.  a tucker - simplicity+color blocks=grand complexity and close to perfection composition
c.  saucysiouxie - subtle and sharp/quiet and loud=can be found and achieved simultaneously
d.  isabel nadal - paint can do the same thing that i am used to paper doing for me=blobs/blocks of color
e.  andrea ebert - black and white are important=i will be focusing to refine this value in the paper medium

looks like i am going to end up being busy.  i figure i have the pleasure of staying home this week.  i wasn't planning on going anywhere anyway but now that the television tells me i can feel free to be here in the place i love the most, i mine as well.


shop updates:new art

most of my new art work is now up for sale in my etsy shop.  there are a couple of things missing because they were either sold or have been donated. anything that interests you can be replicated so do not despair.  i got my mini moo cards the day after clothesline ended, kind of a bummer, but i needed them anyway.  i have pretty much gotten back my bearings and am ready to beginning again.  

there is so much to look forward to, i feel like i am bursting at the seams.  honestly, my goal is to have something new every week between now and May 2009, having more of a variety and such.  i am still thinking about 4bridges and other possibilities, i just have a few more little things to tie up with clothesline.  i hope to post more often too, with some of things that have seriously been inspiring me.  


wrap it up::available art soon

the weekend was great!  clothesline was a beautiful success, so much so.  i am currently working to wrap up the the financial aspects, getting inventory information and moolah to the artists.  it will take me another few days and then things ought to be settled.  i am looking forward to a little break, maybe a week and then i will be off and running again.  

i know many of you have inquired about my work for sale at clothesline.  i wanted to make sure you all know that any previous work is over in my etsy shop and all things new and fresh will be there soon.  look for some slashed prices and for special deals that may help you make your decision easier.  i would love to open up my apartment for extra viewing opportunities, i am still thinking about those details, so please do stay tuned.  for those of you who may have inquired about commission work, that is easy!  there is only a small waiting period.  i will be offering or donating a piece to benefit {revive}, the sanctuary, event on september 27, silent auction style.  come out and support this incredible organization and take home a piece of art.  i will also be busy creating a "eek" tree or something along those lines, for the "scary stuff" halloween exhibit at createhere.

i know the holidays are rolling in and i'd love to create and warm up to the idea of maybe well applying to get into the 4bridgesartfest.  i am ready to try.  clothesline will do that to a person. big thank you's to all that came out to clothesline.  it was wonderful getting to talk with all of you and for having the chance to share my art work with you.  i do not want to sound crazy, but i look forward to starting new art.  and i cannot wait to see where the challenges lead me.  over and out.  sleep tight. 


::crushed trees::

::crushed trees:: is my newest piece created just days before our clothesline art show.  i am so glad for this piece because in it's own way it has helped me learn more about the organic line instead of the geometric line.  i also am satisfied with the more abstract aspect of this piece.  if you squint your eyes the piece looks to me like a real landscape.  

next stop::a benefit show, revive, silent auction for the sanctuary.  then createhere's scary show where you'll find, if you come a scary tree from me.  

i'm also looking forward to a brief hiatus, a week of not making art.  and then a commission or two might be nice.  



i am almost ready to change my concentration or focus.  i have been thinking about trees for the last two years and all the many ways of making or painting them.  i have spent so much time working to perfect my trees, the style and the color, that i might actually becoming bored with them.  i feel like taking a different direction.  all the fine line brushstrokes are helping me, pushing me and my mind.  i definitely do not feel like approaching collage in the same way that i have in the past (ie. the paper quilts).  i definitely feel like changing the subject matter and i am torn by the conflicting feelings.  in the back of my mind (right) i really want to try my hand at portraiture or buildings in the midst of construction.  two very different ideas, i know.  in the back of my mind (left) i want to push this idea of detailed landscape.  i especially like the idea of layering plantings in a landscape.  i honestly feel like i have mastered the incorporation of paper into my paintings.  the paper adds this intense color palette, under painting of paper that i cannot seem to let go of or deny.  i am pretty sure i never want to do still life work or hit realism too much.   
i feel like i am at some pivotal moment and that if something does not give my right and left minds will only continue to clash and i'll become comfortable and humdrum about the conflict.  the worse thing about being an artist is the urge or drive or lack there of, to challenge oneself or practice new techniques or make art with new material or color.  yet it seems unfortunate that i never really produce the same thing twice.  it seems impossible to replicate the old television or twilight trees.  i feel my hand has given into the new patterns and thinking(s) of making line.  

in the last month after quitting cvs pharmacy i have neglected almost everything but my art.  even though clothesline is coming i feel confident that all is going to be fine in the organization and outcome of the event.  it is freeing to know that we as a group have made clothesline into somewhat of a "no brainer".  i am thankful for the opportunity to show my work.  clothesline is thus far the highlight of my artistic pursuits.  it fills me up and leaves me wanting more.  i just do not know what my capacity is to continue making art at this rate.  i feel like i am making a piece a week, which is great but all the other things i want are falling by the wayside.  making art can feel so selfish, the focus feels so individual and then for three days in september i get to share the experience but it feels like the sacrifice is too great, there still is not enough sharing.  i quit cvs because i wanted to have the opportunity to focus but it has been intense for my mind.  i have felt some pretty strong emotions, some serious highs, some serious lows.  it is difficult to not in some way fall into the typical artist mold, the isolation, the narrowness with which i marginalize myself so that my expression, my art becomes in some way, glorious and perfect.  and i do not mean perfect for everyone to see and praise, i mean some deep, inner perfection i am trying to achieve.  

i do not know that i could be a full time artist and be happy.  that is a scary thought, only because my dream is to make art everyday, whenever i want for the rest of my life.  i love the structure and routine of my job at collier construction and need it desperately to balance the right and the left of my brain, the two hemispheres.  after this september clothesline i am thinking about taking a break until next september.  i want to make art non-stop but i have no idea how the rest of my emotional or physiological self could take it.  i probably will feel differently and needed to put these exact kind of thoughts down as a record of the way it feels right now.  i feel like i understand better what great artists of our past have experienced in their drive to be great or just to make art that breaks out of the mundane perception.  it's an overwhelming responsibility, one that i am glad for, for the hands and the mind to make nice art.  i cannot imagine being a celebrity rockstar and would never want that life.  the self imposed pressures are quite enough.  

nonetheless i'm going back to the studio//living room to work out a couple of more pieces for the show.  i want to scratch the surface of something new and rediscover.  have a nice good restful holiday monday off, with your family and friends.  bye for now.