before the bellyfull

we were blessed to be able to have thanksgiving out of doors at my aunt c.'s house on friday, not thursday, this year. it was a chill beautiful day, no unlike today. a roaring bonfire, with all of the traditional feasting. my entire family came round, except for the missed few...mommom, poppop, aunt d.(you know who you are!) and ray. i ended up making a great martha pecan pie, homemade crust too! it ended up being a little runny, but after putting it in the microwave it didn't matter. i'm for sure going to make it again. i also made my jungle gym cookies which were a hit, another secret by the way is cooking them for only about five minutes, that way they barely cook. still soft like dough, you know? so that's how my baking went. we had turkey and ham, which i do not eat. along with all veggies and stuffing and stuff, my mom made a great grape salad too.

so i'm back just barely though. i had not posted in such a while i was beginning to think i'd never be back. but when i got these fotos back i could not resist the temptation to blog o way.

these two and the one in the background are my three favorite men in the world. have the two most incredible brothers in the world, e. on the left, aaron in the middle and great scott on the right (my cute little dad). this would have to be one of my favorite pics from the day. e. just looks so handsome. i used to live in the little house with the well in the background. when i first moved out of my parents house 12 years ago, geez i'm freakin old. my aunt has a little cottage, two bedrooms, very cozy and just perfect for me at the time. look @ e.'s new birthday coat. he's got the bluest eyes, the only one in the fam.

i'm excited, tonight i'm going over to fenn's house for dinner, so i won't be here very long. i've got tons of pics to share. although you are welcome to check them out on the left via flickr.

i'll be back very soon. have to share all of my xmas crafting with you.

these are tender days i walk through, as if all of life an egg to be easily crushed, smothered or instantly gone. at once i feel protected and sheltered, thankful beyond compare for all that has been given to me. yet dissheveled and healing from wounds long since uncovered and made to bleed again. i have been away, so concentrating on my work, here at the practice, my blog is a dear distraction. alas i am back, briefly, because of the quickly approaching holiday. a belated self portrait. last winter, sporting my long long scarf made by the mommom in my life. it is indeed the dark part of the year again. and boy does it feel that way emotionally too. although i was feeling rather sprite and untouchable, despite my nana's death, things were looking up. but blow after blow. and that isn't complaining, pure truth. when a member from the body of christ is lost, for whatever reason, it is a difficult time. trying to understand god's decision to affect one family more than any other is an impossible task. i have oftened wondered about the protection god has granted and provided for me and the rest of my family. i am reminded that there isn't anything that i can do to protect myself anymore than what god does on a daily basis.

all that i can do right now is pray. pray with every ounce of my being.

in other ways, around this corner. my life. i am going to bake something for thanksgiving, which we are doing at aunt cathy's on friday, outside in the blistery weather, though hopefully sunny. i have not quite made up my mind, muddling over pumpkin pie, apple pie, pumpkin cupcakes, or my jungle gym choc. chip cookies. the jungle gym is the name i just gave them. because they've been getting rave reviews. shocking me. the secrets to baking a good cookie are as follows,

use the purest ingredients, not necessarily organic though. real butter, that sort of thing. no egg beaters. don't worry so much about measuring, always try to round up a little. i have the recipe...

winter woolie's

i'll have a hard time concentrating today because for the first time in oh so many months, i am going to see a film in the theatre. i mentioned junebug in yesterday's post, but this morning i had a moment to check out the trailer/synopsis and such. i am too very excited that the film explores the work of an outsider artist "david wark." the paintings in junebug are the work of a trained artist amy wood who imagined how the film character might paint. i found her website and have been marveling ever sense. to the right is just a peek at her adorable and mes·mer·iz·ing creations. she makes painting, objects (ie. ^above), and dioramas. i have always wanted to step into the diorama field. when i was in cartersville about a month ago i happened across the cigar/smoke shop and bought up all the wooden cigar boxes. my intention, though slow in the making is to create shadowboxes or small closed lid dioramas.

with that said here is yet another piece for you to afix your eyes upon.


i used to make paper mache' shakers out of burnt out lightbulbs. after the paper mache' drys completely around the lightbulb, you proceed to bang the piece on the table, floor or countertop and the lightbulb breaks, but not the paper outside. hence you've got a shaker. i would paint them too, but that's elementary my dears. birds are most phenomonal objects to pm. i wanted to make mention of what fredflare is doing to help us all celebrate the people we are most thankful for in life. it doesn't seem to me that we are that thankful of a country or people in general, mind you. i myself struggle with thankfulness. i would really like to be content and thankful for what i have been given in life. i am but i have got to allow god to remind me of his gifts to me. the blessings that overflow. gosh my mother is some kind of amazing gift. my mommom & poppop, k. knutson & fam, ethan mary aaron and laurie, dad or pops whichever. smoore and emoore. my coworkers. geez my coworkers and how they surprise me in their love when i least expect it. the hatches and alexanders, holy matrimony, the list goes on.

i cannot wait to get my xmas shopping going. and i told you i'd give you an update on my lovely design shippment, monday i happened to get a email, saying it was shipped 11.07 and it would be on my doorstep in 7-10 days. yeah yeah yeah!!! i'd like a nice wool winter coat/jacket for xmas. that's what i was thinking(title).

in nj with my heart

in the last week i have not been able to get here at all. monday october 31, i spent the day with my family at the hospital with my nana. the wednesday prior she went into memorial with shortness of breath and internal bleeding. i honestly felt she was going to be fine after a few days there, recouping, resting and relaxing. i never would have imagined sitting with her, holding her hand, watching life leave her on monday. as our family gathered i felt an overwhelming sense of beauty surround us. it was not a frightening or scarey experience. though death is unnatural, i not believing that i was created to die and that sin is death, felt peace.

my poppop died three years ago and i soon began writing my nana at least once a month. i very rarely received a response, but it did not matter to me. i felt with the distance that it was my responsibility to bridge the gap. i became close to her, reflecting upon our mutual loss in life, but encouraging her as well as myself to see god's grace through the lonliness and sadness. then when we moved her here to chattanooga in february, her life changed and there was no doubt a connection. a renewal of time lost together. she was hilarious and full of interesting thoughts and connections to her new life at the terrace. she also made quick friends and played cards/bingo until after losing so much she decided to quit. even that she lightly expressed with humor.

so as a family we made our way up to new jersey, our roots. i am glad i decided to ride along with my brothers and sister n law. what an amazing thirteen hour trip. both ways, 24 hours in the car in a 96 hour period of time. my brothers spent the entire drive making fun of me, laughing at every thing i said. gosh my brothers and i are so different but so much the same it's bizzare-io! we only stopped twice on the way up, how insane is that? saturday was the viewing/visitation and graveside service. to say it was a beautiful day is quite an understatment. mom said it seemed more like the setting in a movie. god could not have been more merciful to our families. the sight of multi generations spread between stones, tall grass and a blazing autumn sun. no one wanted to leave, so we lingered and gazed upon our past, gazed upon my great grandparents and my great great grandparents resting. aunt ginny, the eldest at 98 came along, viewing her lost daughter, dying young from polio. uncle buddy crying by his wife's site, recently passed. i felt the missing come on so soon and knew my nana passing was different, after having watched as her body slowly seperated from her spirit. how thankful i am for this amazing, redemptive and miraculous experience. miraculous because of how my family has become so important to me. the foundation for which a continue in my day to day life. so my nana lays in new jersey with my heart.

in other news.

the workforce is not slowing down one ounce and i am working to make up for lost time, every night this week at the rx. i am going to go to a move with amp tomorrow night at the bijou-junebug @ 9:45pm, if anyone else would like to come along, they're welcome. except of course if you're a stranger. i stil have not gotten my package from lovely design which is fairly disappointing. i'll have to track that expensive little splurge down or otherwise bite the dust. hell no! i've had my fill of the kenya wests' "golddigger." thinking of the weekend again, so sorry.

cannot wait to see j. kring and k. knutson again. planning for the holidays. wishing i had moochoo time to craft. soon and very soon.