fullness:a morning of c.o.l.o.r

this a.m. i woke up with an energy i have not felt in quite some time. i could have jumped right out of bed when national public alarmed me at six forty. instead i kept as still as possible, a dream uninterrupted until seven thirty. the light in my apartment wept, saturating just about everything. i watered my orchid and one bamboo shoot, decided to copy others and take note of the inside of my dishwasher. my melmine dishes made me think:installation. the painting given to me by one bff, katie k. hangs now, above my kitchen sink. one of only two pieces of actual art hanging on my walls. a self portrait reminding me of the past:white house apt. again i found my package from tammy. i'm slow to remove even the most lovliest things from the box, i want the pleasure, the feeling of unwrapping it everyday.
it could all be because i walked from my place all the way down to the fish {aquarium} place and back last night, at least a couple of miles, 14th street down to 3rd or second and back. or maybe i felt full. full of thankfulness again. full of excellant hummus and rewinded conversations with snl mary c. at bigriver last early evening. women's night. live funky music. and flies swarming around my pile of chickpeas.

maybe in the night a senitment came upon my like a memory fills a hole in your spirit after great joy, great sorrow, great struggle, or rather great strength. nothing can overcome me now even in the midst of indecision and compulsion to quit work for the day. possible bike ride with matt or a thousand mile walk. i look forward to the momentum of making art again. i'm certainately encouraged and committed and confronted with a variety of paper matters, medium matters, and personal whimsy ways.

i will bring up my nana again because even though she's past i am so so happy i had my her here, near me in her last months. and now my mother who is venturing soon from a traditional career, to pursue grant writing, vintage apron making and caleb watching, excites me and makes me wonder and thankful more and again. she and i are going to write:illustrate:publish our owb children's books. i know it.

these and a mirad of things are all full of love and color bringing hope. on this thursday at the end of may. may you be filled up. tell me how you have found the fullness.

making a way

i haven't had nearly enough time to get by here. in the last week i have felt like i was barely making a way for myself let alone phantomcrimes. yet throughout the thick and the thin of a sixty hour work week i made it and enjoyed mostly every minute of it. tammy gilley sent me an incredible five senses swap package, i almost couldn't believe my eyes, mostly overwhelmed in her brillant color choices. i feel terrible, i haven't a minute to send my five senses swap to my partner. although i've gathered just about everything, it's a shame, i should have figured my timing out a little better. i am so so sorry anastasia.

i did however finally get around to finishing my paper quilt project piece and sent it off. i feel fairly uncertain about the outcome and am not quite ready to show it off. i think it came together well enough and it amounts to meaning something to me and i felt so honored to contribute, but as far as the best thing i've ever done in my life. probably not. it comes down to my familytree and how it has grown and grown over the past few years. how i have grown to love my family; past, present and future family. how these family people have become some of the most important people in my life. a tree that represents life, growth, shade, protection and stability. and on a side note the paper quilt project and wendell berry's hannah coulter have both made me think of my nana. i remember crying my eyes out at her graveside service, because it was one of the most beautiful new jersey days you could possibly imagine. and plus i was there at her side as she slipped gently into the night. i felt heaven in those minute quiet seconds. sometimes i seem to invent things that remind me of her or others past. so strange. so wonderful to know.

and then how the clothesline show came to be. oh personally i had an amazing time. the spirit of the moment, the weather, the women artists, the amount and variety of art, the food, the fellowship, the turnout was all so overwhelming. it was not as you might think a party or artshow to be, more mild and calm, laid bare to avoid intimadation, the gallery pretense was nowhere to be found, intentionally. it was an immense success and the internal flaws can be looked at as a potential growth and strength. there is room for improvement, yes. but that is not to say it wasn't a fantastic way to celebrate art made by women artists. i can't not wait to get started on the planning for a fall show. look for updates both in my flickr and the official clothesline blog/site. if you were there and would like to leave an sort of feedback please do on that site. or email us and your thoughts at: ourclothesline@gmail[dot]com. thank you all so much for coming out and supporting us, me, them, everyone.

and for those of you following sam and liam's story...well they are doing really really well. they spent most of the day out and about town with their two little parentals. i had a chance to see them on sunday, very short and they're feeding well, growing and making us smile. thank you all for your continued thoughts and support. our family and the aaron and laurie collier family sure to appreciate everything.

that's it folks. gotta hit the trail, so to speak.

cannot help it

*making me happy*

it is amazing to me that sam and liam are actually here. i decided that i could not stay away from the hospital this past weekend. the temptation was so great. and here in the yellow cap is sam. and in the white cap, little liam. funny how babies change the instant they are born. according to laurie, sam was fairly active in the womb and now after having entered the world, has become chill and quiet. liam on the other hand was stressed a bit in the womb, crushed underneath sam and now as you see in alvin huffine's arms is more alert and active. yesterday i went to see them before they went home and they were in their little tanning beds. oh my oh my. laurie and aaron are doing really well. they were really eager to get home, to show their boys their rooms and the giraffe, to sleep in their own beds. laurie can actually breath now, previously so much pressure. aaron will be off a little and then will have to go back to school to finish up the year and he'll be out for the summer. we are going to have an awesome summer. i cannot wait. cannot.
i have plenty to accomplish and have nothing to show. i have been working my paper quilt project piece and should be finished by the end of the week. right now i don't feel like showing it to anyone. and i've gotta the rest of my five senses swap together. and clothesline at the end of the week.

sam&liam

for the family: sam and liam arrived yesterday may 10, 2007 at 11.43 and 11.44 am. they are both extremely healthy, happy, quiet little boys. momma laurie and my brother aaron are both doing really well. the boys weighed in at 6 pounds, 1 ounce each and 19 inches long. they are very close to being identical except that liam has lighter hair and a lighter complexion. sam has darker hair and a slightly darker complexion. we are so happy. so blessed. so excited. laurie is holding liam. aaron is holding sam. they are perfect you guys, absolutely amazing. they didn't have to go to the nicu or picu, whatever you wanna call it. everything happened so quickly. and as i learn more about the story of yesterday i'll fill in the gaps. thank you for prayers. for your love and support.

babes on the way

we just got news!!! the babes are on the way!!! i'll be heading home to get my digicam, awaiting updates from the soon to be grandmothers {my mom shall be called pippa}. some tears have already come into my eyes. it is all quite convenient, i'm at the hospital where she'll be having sam and liam, so once i go home to get my camera i can be back at work...pray that all goes well in the OR. these boys are so dearly loved. we cannot wait!!! awgh.

sam&liam

just a quick update on the babies, incase you haven't been following along: laurie {pictured on the righ} who is married to my youngest brother, not pictured. will be having two, count 'em, two precious little baby boys on friday!!! everyone is doing great and as soon as i know something i will post!!! keep the little family in your prayers!!!

the twilight trees:revealed!!!

the twilight trees is the last piece i'll will have made madly for the clothesline show, coming up, right around the corner, beware. it is a depature from the previous paper quilts that i made only because i'm pressing toward the future, larger, more detailed pieces. practicing on a smaller 9"x9" before a 3'x2' or something like that. the repetition is there in the pattern of squares as a collage under"painting" and then a dark dark blue to create the tree imagery. i am also very attracted to the positive+negative space element. i think it works fairly well and am excited about continuing in this new direction.

the painting below is one that a friend gave me and i'm planning to create a landscape, i've started in the bottom right hand corner, circles of green. the blue is brillant and a large portion of the painting will remain much like a sam flores painting with my own style. more flowers, trees, and birds.

i have also been wanting to share this quilt with you all. i didn't make it and i don't know who did but it is hanging at one of my friends house and when the light shines through it i'm aghast at the beauty and craftmanship. i finally got pictures and think it is the best. i especially love the green shapes which remind me of lovely little war tanks. you're welcome to view more photos over in my flickr account. as always i'd love to know what you think, don't hesitate. have a good day friends and family!

gallery of growth:the packrat life

i would crave a minimalistic windowsill wonderland but my head is overflowing and my heart loves the littlest treasures. i am a packrat. it occured to me this morning that i lead my internet life much is the same way that i do my real world life. i collect favorites like they're going out of style. in the course of an eight hour day i've probably perused a hundred blogs, shops, and forums. maybe not as carefully as peruse though. and yet there is always something i'll save, to pick up later. today is one of those days, you know them because you're lulled out, played out of nothing to show for the creative motions your making. i have finished my last piece, numbro ten for the clothesline show. my digicam is in the hands of another creative soul. and so i have nothing to show of progress.

instead i'm here to share: last week i became distressed, searching, grasping at straws, looking for more than one farm in the area. chattanooga no longer has a "real" down to earth, farmer's market, we've gotta make room for the eight hundred plus homeless. thankfully we've got the chattanooga market, but when you go to the website and click on agriculture to look for local farms there are NONE! which is fine, right? you've gotta be kidding me. there is moonshadow, an opportunity to learn how to grow at the sequatchie valley institute. *might we put some of the homeless to work on a local urban farm-coop-the earthisimportant program-mayor littlefield? have any of you been to rise n shine in chickamauga? here are your other options. that or spread a patch out behind your three gas burning car garage and grow something, anything to absorb some of that carbon dioxide.

***jen over at scissors paper glue has come up with a special sort of inspiration stash.

***i know atlanta recently got a trader joe's, though i haven't been since living in templeton CA, found via one of the best blogs out there: shelterrific, via dhome, enter the offical trader joe's caption contest!!! woohoo:)

***also found between the cracks, or maybe i've fallen between the cracks and i'm just now digging myself out: swissmiss features the best all around stuff this side of the sphere has see, even though...we didn't necessarily grow her here. check out the prettiest cards you may ever see. winter garden thank you sm.

***for those of you who'd die without color i found via the purl bee, PROJECT SPECTRUM; it maybe too late to get involved or participate this year but i'm sure it's worth a look, just incase, there maybe pockets of inspiration.

lucky for you, that's all i've got for today. i'm burnt.

the quilt of my

"crunch" begins and ends with dazed and crazed. i know i don't feel as overwhelmed as say, kate in all of her moving, working, making and mothering. i am not sure what is going to happen. i mean all but one collage has been completed, my cards are packed and ready, but i still haven't got a clue as to how or when i am going to have the paper quilts framed or wrapped or well, presentable. i went to hobby lobby and had a rather unpleasant experience, instead of finding frames worthy i found canvas worthy. it is times like these that make for memories, excitement and blessing, mostly learning. these tight corners, empty pockets, smaller margains are just apart of this cat's life. matter of factly, frankly speaking i am happier in the midst of a rush, the crush and crash of projects, obligations and artworks.

i am thinking now of how to prioritize: yesterday i found in my box the paper quilt project envelope and felt a choke approaching fast. don't get me wrong i am really happy about this community effort, the honor of being invited is super great and i can't wait to find that buried treasure of inspiration. i also have got to get my five senses together enough to swap them with anastasia. and i feel i must acknowledge the sweet tammy as well. i actually sat and had what i'd call a light moment:brainstorming the five senses and have come up with a few unique ideas. the first of which; thought:"opening the package with ones eyes shut!!!" unga.

then there are all these underlying things: how am i going to pay my bills? april was such a tight month and i am feeling the tightness a little less but i have very little breathing room. buying canvas is a total justified thing because fitness together is demanding more work today!!! i'd also like to be really open to commission work too but inorder to do it i've gotta have it-right?

there's also the cleanliness of my life right now. i am still smoking, no more no less than usual but it is the dirtiest, nastiest habit and i'm reminded of how disgusting it is on a daily basis. if it's not my phlegm, it is a lung cancer patient's phlegm i hear in the hallways at work here at uoha. my curtains in my apartment are black, my floors need to be mopped, my car is a pile of ash and the hair. i know i know i'm really about to gag!!! truly isn't it all a reflection of what is apart of my insides. the heart that yearns for beauty but is stuck in ugly. i hope my paper quilts aren't as ugly as the quilt of my life.

then there is joy, in two weeks and little sam and liam will be here. my nephews. my first nephews and what breath can be breathed without thinking of their little lives. there is clothesline and community and being bold enough, having guts enough to invite people from my church that i barely know to come and see this community of women artist. there is mother's day and bringing my siblings together to honor my mom again in this new year. there is this new book in my life; hannah coulter by wendell berry and how it brings tears of joy and sorrow, relative to my life's quilt in so many ways and not really but so good. shall i stop?