my yellow prawn

we are all wireless, independent. i am here at harbor pointe, water ways on every side. no pictures for your viewing pleasure. no digital, just my 35mm photos to come, many. wanted to tell you all of this female s. wish she were in chatt sometimes. i have been having a really nice time on vaca. with the knuts, amy, nanc, and smoore. in the last two weeks my life has slowed to a crawl. so strange. the days and nights do not seem to fly so fast right now. i'm usually working all the time, same thing every single dang day, it's so odd to have this time away from everything.

beach, pool, sun, more of josiah and eden b. i couldn't really say. all of what i have been thinking of. i wish that my mom could get a way like this. the c. fam must take on a beach condo and do the time share thing. i found out last week while in the gulf, that the art/music event at barking legs will be on august twelth. i'm working that night at the rx, but i'll manage to get my work hung anyway. checking out of the condo tomorrow, heading through savannah for lunch and gallery excursions??? anyone have any ideas? cool we have been getting free wireless here at hp. no body knows how. not too sun burnt, tired but from the sun all together. fixed the group humus, guac tonight for dinner. umm...i miss my mom for some reason right now.

lu i have brought along the be u t i ful book you sent to me. i have gotten a bunch of silly magazines, that have nice stuff in them. working on filling the book, so far fish and birds, my main thoughts revolve around these two animals. sneeze. thank you so much, i have enjoyed having a creative outlet during the evenings here. i went to walmart last night and bought sissors and glue. fun times at ridgemont high. so that's all, prolly could think of more when i get home. there is a white horse at the back of all your minds, there is faith in what you hope for. peace in the beauty god has created. have seen moochoo wild life, birds galore!!!! no underwater animals though. more to come. same time, same place, same this tree.

pine apple por-trait

self portrait tuesday

oh brother, yeah and you might have to take a moment to recover from looking at this photo. for god's sake i've got a pineapple growing out of the top of my head. i have also been stealing these photos from the 45 Revolver's photobucket account. we were 'dating' for around a year and in that time he flew me out to honolulu hawaii. while there he took me all over the place. one of my favorite places was the dole plantation. we decided not to spend the money to take the tour, but i had to have a taste of the famous pine-apple ice cream. it was a welcome treat that day, heat and driving in the mazda mia-ta convertible. happy memories of my journey there.

today i finishing up for the month, due to the fact that i am leaving out tomorrow for hilton head island, south carolina. you know i am a little bit of a ditz, thinking all of this time that hilton head was in georgia. so i have got another seven hour drive for another beach vacation.

okay and my day was going alright, until five checks i just got finished posting came up missing when i went to compile my deposit. come to find out the missing five checks had been deposited a week ago without me knowing. i am totally frustrated because i was hoping to get a whole lot more accomplished today than search for lost money. oh well, a day here will never be predictable.

i made another big batch of humus last night-instead of working. yummy, so easy too! i took a few photos while at gulf shores, and i am in the procrastination station re: getting photos from my february new jersey trip developed. i took photos of my great grandmothers old home, my grandfather's grave and of peter pan bakery. i refuse to bring my film to cvs rx, because their development sucks! and every time i have a day off, i forget to take the film to ritz or wolfe. i am pathetic when it comes to film developing, but i believe it is hereditary. my parents are just as bad or worse.

i have absolutely no craft-e projects going on right now. i feel so terrible about it. i started a package for melissa and i still must finish my next two aprons. there's a handmade book i started too and i think it would be perfect for lu, to repay her for her genorsity. i am going to have to have patience and motivation, simultaneously. i am almost finished with the da vinci code and have enjoyed it for it's simply entertainment quality, haven't really understood why such the controversy when the novel first came out. it isn't written from a 'factual' perspective one ounce. oh well, next i've got dave eggers 'the heartbreaking working of staggering genius.' yikes it'll take some time. i suppose that's all for now. i'll be back on saturday night late, so no posting till monday morning or so.

if you have any ideas for bday gifts for my dad, brother aaron or sister in law laurie give me a shout through the email. wanna keep the ideas a secret. i missing you all, already.

outta here.

jellyfish bellyache

i am home from gulf shores, alabama. specifically the beachclub. i suppose we(uoha girls) have gotten pretty picky about where we stay every year, but i must say this place was not as nice as our previous condo's. the past three years we have been at pheonix V and Spanish Keys, but the hurricane last year really destroyed so much of the gulf. the beaches are still filled with tons of debris, ie. wood, glass, furniture, fridgerators, washing machines, dryers and dishwashers. really horrible. homes looked as though they had not been touched, windows out or boarded up. hotels and condos with whole walls missing. not very pretty, not much to do and sort of sad.

but i had a good time, laying out on the beach. our evening meals weren't great this year either. i had ahi which wasn't really ahi, i had lots of crab, shrimp, and hushpuppies. i spent time reading, watching television, catching up with mtv2-hiphop videos, sleeping, and bouncing in the pool. i drove, so i had the freedom to really come and go as i pleased. carolyn in the city and cece drove down with me. no problems on that end. i am so glad to be back in chattanooga for a couple of days until i head out on wednesday for hilton head with kate and joel knutson. i have got a whole bunch to do in the meantime. but i did want to give a great big shout out to kate for sending a nice sweet baby blue skirt (size 10) whoohoo! and lu lu lu lu, the most amazing little paperbag book i've ever seen or laid my grubby hands upon. honestly opening and leafing through it, gave me chills, you know those chill bumps!!!

oh and at the beach i saw live dolphins and jellyfish and i picked up some nice shells. so i feel good and inspired. got to work tonight and tomorrow. gotta do laundry, make humus, contact kate, don't know exactly where i am going, go grocery shopping a bit. and umm i think that is all. i miss being here in the blog world. next year if i still have my uoha job i'm bringing a laptop. i'll try and post more tomorrow before heading out.

wash blow & go

i am in the brown, buttery colored cords that sag an inch or two too low. i do not usually need a belt and so i am one of "those" today. it is like the grey weather, the ten inches of rain in cobb county, georgia. the swallowing downpours from dennis to emily to next weeks fred. today has been a good day with laughs and slight guacamole pleasures. i even splurged into a mocha frappe' from charbucks. the pounds only shed when i am off from work without an ounce of grocery in my fridge. i will have to weigh in today, for the heck of it of course. i also decided on the al a mode hair today. feels as though it is with ice cream, wild and crazy with humidity and all.

tonight i have got to work at the dallas bay rx which is out near soddy. unga bunga. but then why complain. twenty five hours is nothing and terribly good moolah. and too, i am taking off from the ole uoha tomorrow. "run me some" errands. of utmost importance, the nissan sentra 2005 has got to go for it's very first emission test, woohoo! of course i've been looking for a new bathing suit, what with all the upcoming beach activity. so i'm headed to the sear's essentials which took the place of my favorite kmart. see they are supposed to retail land's end clothing, right? at least i hope so. found some cute ones this year and cannot decide. trying them on is the key.

i am going to make toffee squares and attempt, possibly, humus. i am going against everything kate has told me that, store bought is just as good and easier. the thing is someone has already bought the beans, so what the hell! it'll be an experiment just like the granola. i am trying to help a friend get good food going through his system, so that he'll have the energy to work. he has got to have something he can take on surveying jobs out in the middle of the woods. humus and pita seem easy enough in a sandwich bag. he ended up eating all of my granola so it is time for another trial. this time i will start with the oatmeal instead of the wheat flour. i do not know if i'll have time enough for anything else. but the car thing has got to be done before the end of the month.

notion

motion launch pad

quote crash pest

lotion sun turned

master golf with gold

blaster discovery take off delayed

water melt

gun target totes and tornados
in the deeper south

self portrait tuesday?

me? a self portrait? this one chubby girl in good ole knoxville.

master quiz A

oh the tiniest example of blaine fontana's work at totembookmedia. just one, but this is a must see! i have been meaning to show this work, magic poof! this guy has been doing it! really if you look closely you'll see the numbers 92, sideways at the bottom. i do believe my ideas lean this direction. it is the small worlds, bright colors, details, layers, and crusty beginnings. how can you say no to a piece like this? i suppose your personal aesthetic would have a whole lot to do with it. i have started to see glimpses of a struggle coming my way, artistically speaking. it is a combination of things that you may have noticed. first, i need a studio space, not just a corner of my home. second, i need large canvas per the thrift store. i need a personal thrift store shopper. anyone willing? third, i'd like a real show. a real digital camera, a real pc @ the homestead apt. i need to quit my job, either at uoha or cvs and make more money elsewhere and work part time art career. did i say art career? what the hell am i thinking? all i know is that when i am at home i don't feel like doing much right now. i think i may have too much in my apartment too. how about a lobby yard sale. i do remeber a long time ago, someone in my apartment building set up a table downstairs and sold stuff. another time i filled two huge bags full of used clothing and whatnot and took them down to the laundry room. made a big sign and said FREE.

i also wanted to show you the work of hektor. one of those graf artists i found through the wooster collective. again here is one example. a I.D. cover. what do you know?

i do not know if i have anymore to offer today. i am sure that i should make up my mind and not just drift as i feel that i am. honestly for a minute i did not feel so bad. i suppose i should probably take a break from surfing the www and looking at all this beautiful work. jealousy might corrupt this girl heart of mine. or maybe i just know i have the means to do something else. forever i was talking of moving. now the double job thing has taken over that thought. now i'm talking about taking small baby steps. i know getting away is going to help a whole lot at the end of this month, so maybe i shouldn't worry so much about the creative side of things for bit.

oh in answer to k's questions...i do love the partial nude. and you have done a couple, now that you mention it, i remember. i do like the hip/elbow & breast. the back and nape of neck, legs like those cut off from the rest of the body are nice too. i just liked more of the crop in some of yesterday's artist work. sort of how the nude you are working on now, her foot is falling off the canvas. makes a piece for me, bigger than the canvas. but do not get me wrong, no shape or form or color is better in my eyes than these with which you are working on now. thank you for your work you all. the encouragement is wonderful.

peace

hermit style

don't let yourself be overwhelmed by anna's nice pastel painted pieces. big ups, lighter flight, flicker plight! i am so excited by these new ways of looking at things. kate, what do you think of partial nudes? i'd buy, so might a hollis patron. i know i am missing out. i have to miss out right now. and that is totally alright. i keep thinking that i'll find satisfaction in a life balanced between working full time and art-ing full time, but today and even yesterday i feel like quitting the hard 9-5 and pouncing on a studio space, a full time creation station. i'd starve to death, but no more than i am right now. i'd have the time to create large sewn pieces, splatter, quilted cornered effects of observation.

this weekend went well, i was blessed. not to have to work one ounce. not even a smidgen on saturday or sunday. so on saturday i went to my aunt c.'s house to swim in their new, brand spankin new above ground pool. a & l came and we spent around two hours out there. being on an antibiotic i smothered myself in 60+ waterproof baby sunburn lotion. caught a small wink of sun on my cheeks and felt the heat, but survived, so happy to be out there. her home dates around the civil war. remembered the cannon ball and multi-bullets found out there. she's got the beautiful farm yard look. hydrangea, roses, heliborus and the like. a tree swing, compost pile with a pumpkin vine growing out. a halloween treat. my uncle does some handy work for a chinese family in lkt valley. so saturday night we plopped down, i had fried rice and nice little egg role, and a few cream cheese/crab ragoons or however you spell/smell it, hahaha!

sunday i was supposed to meet mc and ethan at calvary, but it was a no go. i did go to the parentals for a very very nice veggie meal per monamieta. yum and thank you. we had a pleasant afternoon. i went home afterward and slept, a long rainy day nap.

i did not do anything creative this weekend, like i should have. i did pick up and apron, potholder or notecard. i drank a whole bunch of coffee, and mocha fusion. i read a bit more of the da vinci code and went to walmart one time.

i like caitlin kuhwald's work, will you be looking at it too? and have you seen what lu has been working on. awh hell this deserves a hi five beautify my shelves. pretty books of wonder.

after today, i am right now a little overwhelmed so i am going to finish up here.

do we know

after yesterday, events surrounding the london bombings, i started to think again of what it is i stand for. how can i know such things, i feel as this child looks, from cherry hood's perspective. i did not work yesterday, instead i got a brand new hair arrangement, that is a "do" for summer. a red hot punk rock style that blew my fellow co workers away when i stepped in this morning. yikes! so red, so you, so i would be scared to rock that cut! i am thirty years old in december and have never felt much like fitting into the typical female: hair, nails, make up the summer glow-melanoma. it has just been a few months, the weight falling off, a hair salon gift certificate that has really honestly motivated me to look better. not for all of the disgusting superficial reasons, but because my heart is feeling better too. although i've not quite quit the smoking habit.

yesterday morning i woke up early. my friend called to say he was going to be out of work for the day and that i should turn on the television. sure enough. london was said to have handled the immediate obstructions very well. how will they do today, tomorrow, a year from now? yeah they didn't have the smells, the white film or any of those horrific scenes from four years ago in new york, so maybe as the media put it, it will be easier for them to get over.

i do not believe it. i do not believe it. there isn't getting over anything of the sort. pretending, masking and denying, sure, that's probable. oh and the terrorists i understand, love to see our governments flit and flutter about infront of television cameras/microphones pouncing on our emotions re: civil liberties my ass, gender equality and the famous god given freedoms, turning me off. isn't it true that it's our policy they hate, by our policy we are interrupting in their processes, being there, interceding, cornering and pocketing the upperhand. will our diplomacy change, will we lose the will, can we put an end to the patriot act, or homeland security, do we know anything for sure?

yesterday, as another day has passed. i went with my sister n law to the stone cup for lunch and got burnt sitting out in the sun. i don't need to be getting accidentally burnt. not a pleasant thing.
melissa c. if you are out there reading. keep your little eyes peeled to the mailbox. treasures headed your way real soon.

chinsey one heart

one heart and the greatest little stuffed pieces linking me from pr1mary space. check out the links and see these artists pushing the envelope. i really like this parskid's work, i'd also like to participate in month of softies with something like this within the confines of the theme.

two hearts are better than one...i love love this too, totally inspired. wow and how sweet is this, see the gallery and picture yourself in one of these, or having one hanging on your living room wall. i totally think i am in the wrong place. i have been "working" my privileged ass off all weekend to produce a few descent pieces, but i do not feel the product is up to par. i definitely think i am getting there on a few levels, but really all that i think i ought to do is quit my nine to five and start busting the move on this art thing. otherwise i will dry up and be a crusty old paintbrush.



oh i have been having a difficult time with posting the photos that i want, this new photo op isn't working so well for me and i have struggled with this one entry until now. slightly giving in to the old ways of dealing. i did want to catch up, shape up or ship out and show you all what i have been looking at. savoring the bits and pieces of what makes me excited. i must say that even though this post is from june i am now in july and so happy. two weeks away from taking two long awaited vacations. cannot help but wish i was going to the city, but hilton with the knuts will be fantastic.

my linkage above may be just a bit yuck, so i'll try and explain. pr1mary space a gallery i found that has links to all these other great artist sites. hope you don't mind. the elephant is from here. it is the color and line i love so often in these sorts of works. also i've found the amathin gallery of art by amy dickey. the below pic is just a small sample of my favorites from her. wish i could be...as i said above.



okay so i have been working hard on a couple of pieces. i am now finishing up my clipboard pieces. these things have been sitting around in my apartment for so long, they were beginning to rot away. so i am doing a plant and bees thing on one and then a bird and fish thing on the other and i had already done a cityscape on one, but i'm not touching it up. cannot say too much or add a photo, but it definitely does feel good.

i am making collage boxes again and think i may have mentioned that. and let's see. this past weekend i saw jennifer kring. i got super doper sick o' rama, but survived well enough to visit with her. she had very exciting news. a baby kring is coming in february o 2006. she's nine weeks. gosh, how exciting! congrats jen. and for all you out there, like erin p. i hope this doesn't come as a great shock.

i really don't have much time to write. look forward to catching up more later. just wanted to get one out to you all.

computer additions

here again is a lovely photo from veer. you ought to really check it out. there are so many photos to pick from and ways to search for specs. i intentionally was looking for images with the color orange. this seemed nice, much like the robot in an earlier post. we all have ways of endorsing, broadcasting and showing off our works of art, words of art and thoughts. i often times don't have much to say here, but a picture says quite a bit. i know that you are supposed to pay veer for their products, and i've said it before, but why don't they put some sort of block on their photos? i don't feel morally obligated at this point, i'm not copping the stuff as my own. give credit where credit is due or be sued. right?

the office has been quiet today. although that is because two of my direct co workers are out. i had a crap o la morning due to the fact that every time i turned around there was a patient at my window or their windows, a phone call, or a printer issue. i would just like a day when nothing, absolutely nothing goes awry. these are the sorts of days i feel free enough to do a little bit more www surfing. if you know what i mean? getting a way with a little bit more blogging time. so this is what i have done and you may have noticed. i am taking the steps to include some of you little by little into the growth, one year old baby of mine, "phantomcrimes." i started my, 'knowing me by my roots' the friendships and works of others that inspire me and push me to grow into a family tree. 'dinocam ph2s' are open for your veiwing pleasure. i feel less inclined to share so many photos with you, on the condition that you won't make fun of the pictorial quality or the subject matter. i am an experimentor, not a trendsetter dudes! there is also 'the past', which are obviously my last entries and then 'another life,' which is fitting considering the fact that my one year anniversary is right around the corner and i feel a life away from where i began here one year ago. does that make sense?

so there you have it. i know lots of fellow bloggers work towards some fun way of celebrating the time gone by, but i have no clue. forget it, i'm not a sport for putting something up for you. no cake, no ballons, no firecrackers. just the disabling of your minds.

take a number

there was enough for me to do this weekend, i actually ran out of time. i also wanted to see a and a again, but did not feel so much like watching a film. motorcycle diaries, i am sure you have seen it. i have spent no money on movie going recently, nor have i been renting any of those dvds. i got into watching a bit of wimbeldon and started big fish all over again, but didn't watch it all the way through. i had to work on friday and saturday, which was not too bad. i have begun to see how customers that come into the rx on the weekends are much more stressed and generally very rude. i have a small theory about their demise on the loveliest of weekends. first off, they attempt to spend time with their families, cramming in as much activity as virtually possible, though realistically impossible. they are accustomed to spending the entire week away from the family and that is nice, especially for working parents, who are weak ass and cannot handle their own kids. weekends tend to be times when people are more needy and want more than they can get. they've spent their days out on the lake, boat or at little league baseball games and they are grumpy, hot, irratible and too impatient. i do not think that cvs is a difficult place to shop. but people act like their worlds are about to fall apart when the rx doesn't have something they think it ought. ice cream? ping pong balls? doral cigarettes? one hour photo?

i got a package off to one of my friends yesterday. it has taken a long time, well over due. but i hope she likes it and it's a surprise for her. i also got a couple letters out, to some of my snailmail pals. that was enjoyable, due to the fact that i've gotten some great stationary. i started another series of potholders, the first of many decoupage boxes to come. i ate my granola on ice cream and took off with the crossword puzzles. i started reading the da vinci code a couple of weeks ago, spent an hour in my cozy queen, snugglin bunglin snoozin and semi thinking the book could be better. i have been totally influenced by ep's point of view on the subject.

i started wearing my summer skirts and am working on my spectacular sunless tan. per jergens glow, the regional hit. kate came up from atl and we spent a part of sunday together. we talked shop, art, baby this and that, saw a man get arrested outside of my building, car towed and the bit. eden b slept most of the time and i couldn't believe the pics kate took of josiah at coolidge park. fantastic times!

yesterday i was going to hang out with aaron and ashleigh and possibly laurie, they had made other plans. i went for this enormous walk around the southside. i rarely have the op and the sun was so hot and i was frigid in my apt. (never have to pay heating or air, cranking it up). i met cesna at his studio and a guy, jerry who is an artist. people or rather tourists were out all over the place. totally exciting. mad and blasted beat cops protecting the tourists from the residence of this city. saw it on the news believe it or not. the city has got to make the moolah.

i started a new bird painting too. the activity has worn me out and tonight i've got to work. yuck.

travel channel with ac

we woke up in new jersey this morning @ six thirty, explaining these thoughts, comprehending the experience. driving through semi eighteen wheels precisely there to intimidate us. keep me alert laurie. play the song louder in my ear. watch your corners, use your blinker. safe and keeping homeward bound. via the northeast excursions for their anniversary, summer vacations. it turns out that new york is easy to drive through once you get there, once you've found amsterdam. wall street is heavier than i thought and the un, the un, isn't that where we should be putting the pressure on? there is a empty space of controversey in place where the towers were. it is bundled up in layers upon layers of mesh fencing. a blank stare, one more open wound, scratching the surface. dc highlights bring the smithsonian front and center. five hours and barely touching the surface, but the holocaust museum and daniel the child you followed through, he taught you about his life. the scenes and signs behind the window blinds. there were facts, not as gruesome as auschwitz though. oh and i saw sean puffy combs, are you sure? how did you know. girls were giggling all over the place, he had a massive bodyguard. brushed shoulders with him and paced over his sidewalk footsteps. i cannot believe it, your ninth grade students are going to flip.

we spent an entire day with dad's, mother and father at the masonic home. i know i did that and it was absolutely amazing. yes and they do seem more active than we are, how do they remain so vibrate and young. the energy level as off the scales. well yes i know they are retired and so so so happy. i played every piano and organ, i ran out of things to play. i saw the computer rooms on every single floor.

you brought back ashleigh with you. for ten days. why can't she stay longer. oh how we wish she were older, but georgia said she was so cute.

oh and then there was georgia. my personal body double. although we aren't exactly of the same character and personality the common ground is there. and then last night at the same time, at the pickle barrel, after aaron, laurie and lil ashleigh left i sat and discussed with someone the ins and outs of genre specific rights, feminisim, family "values" or the lack there of, and why i feel the way i do about my value as a woman, my part in society, my role in a relationship, my position at work, et cetera. i may be strange or odd because i know what i want. georgia, melinda, and marcus said they had no idea what they want in a relationship. geez, i am sorry. as unsympathetic as it may sound i'd say when you don't know what you want you are probably on the edge of being someone no one wants. i pitch a fit about the quality of men, these days, all the time. my exaggeration is obvious isn't it? but i certainately know and feel comfortable with who i am and what the right way to go about making a relational choice.

i feel the insecurity just about like everyone else does. i think the true difference, which may make me a better balance in this discussion is that i am far more willing to accept my failure. it is just as hard for me as it is for the next person, but i can accept responsibility. in grace i am entirely free. mostly free of myself, free of trying moments, endless struggle, and broken relationships. there is not pride other than that which christ has given to me to share with others. i am glad though for the opportunity to speak with these peers of mine. the distance between myself and society often feels like great depths. i tend to accept a portion of my life and forget about all of the rest. i tire of the boring self examinating, over analytical disscussion. but at the same time, last night was a pleasant experience, that led me to a late night tossing and turning, counting.

there is news on the homefront: mom and dad went to court on tuesday and the judge granted my parentals temporary guardianship of emily, little em. i may have mentioned it already, but it deserves the attention. the battle thus far has been won and we can praise god for his mercy, grace, love and victory.

i also made for the first time the granola that kate was so dear to include on her site. my first attempt got a thumbs up from ole mb, so that's good. it sure does make a whole hell of a lot of grand ola!!! thank you kate, i'll let you know about how the ole granola goes thru me. chewy so far, but i suppose it needed to bake a bit longer. i like the raisins, but i don't know so much about the amounts of flour/wheat germ or whatever. i made it work. hi fi gi.

wreck yourself

AUDIO



her space holiday



bright eyes

saddlecreek records



the postal service



the album leaf



piano magic

VISUAL



bobdob



kidrobot



the wooster collective

these are just a few of my favorites, i hope you enjoy.

oh my father

i've got this new little program on my pc here at the workforce that allows me to enhance these otherwise dull looking collages. i appreciate the small things yet although i've worked with photoshop on my home pc, before. i shouldn't have it here at work, i'd be so distracted, that's all i would do. but the colors look so much nicer as well as the hint of scotch tape on the corners. woohoo is my reply. this was a college i may have posted before. i did it back several years ago, probably like 5 or so for a bridal shower invite. actually i know i've posted it before, oh well. here it is new and improved.

before i move forward with this post i want to give a big huge shout out to kate knutson. congrats on getting your beautiful, long awaited, paintings from norway. the work is incredible. a bravo, pass me not oh gentle awakening. do not miss out on this work! kate and her husband joel, spent an entire year in norway, studying their minds, hearts and souls out. she was fortunate to beable to paint and her growth is completely, utterly, humbly obvious. i am posting my two favorites, incase you miss them, which i don't think you should.



over the last few years i believe my family has become more of a cohesive unit. we are all still in the same area and we've even taken in a couple of girls who really needed a better home. i'd say with in the last five years my family has grown twofold with the addition of laurie and mary, smoore and emoore. one of the reasons i suppose it stricks me today is that we celebrated father's day last week all together. we had an amazing time. not something i can quite articulate that well, but less magical and more magnificant, less arbitrary, more like a quick rush of adrenline to my brain and heart. i would lay my life down for my family. pathetically in some ways they are my closest, most dearest friends. mc suggested that she and i go to epik and have our hair and nails done one day before the gulf shores beach trip. how considerate she was to think of me, knowing that i've lost weight and need the premature greys to disappear beneath a great pallette of mahagony and red rocker streaks. we've decided to make a day of it. but for god's sake i never thought i'd be this close to my sister in law. a blessing.

my father is my family's most important member in many ways though. it is with great honor that i can call out my father and he is there there there. no man measures. over the years the man has grown and has been humble enough to allow his children to be apart of his mental, emotional and spiritual growth. he has been a faithful husband to my mother for 31 years, a hard working, devoted character; quiet and awkwardly bookish at times, the wit of a pickle. i enjoy my father as his knowledge brings my joy, comfort, peace and reconciliation. he is a much happier man now as well which makes my family and i so so so happy. he very rarely complains about his job or how tired he is or how we crowd his space, crashed his cars, ruined his financial credit, exploited his graces, and trampled his love. he continually points us in our almighty father's direction. i am overwhelmed by what we are because of my father. i understand that there are many blessed families out there in the world, but what i comprehend is why men are demoralized and made fun of. why have we taken their strength away from them? what did women need by going to work everyday. the freedom was not ours for the taking. i am thankful that my father is intelligent, i am grateful for his enduring faith, lasting love and passive patience. i am thankful that i am like him in so many great ways. my thoughts will be of my father this weekend. i just ask that i might find a man like him someday.

yet another note:

i think i am going to start pointing you all in some less obsure directions, so look forward to my favorite music of the week entry, my favorite book of the week, my favorite graffiti, my favorite artist, my favorite inch, my favorite colors et cetera.

multi migration

i know that as of late the 'bird' thing has become terribly popular. without a doubt birds have made a comeback, or maybe they never went away to begin with. there are so many artists who work with the concept that i feel a minute speck of one, when it comes to my small attempts at including birds in my work. when i was in highschool art class, lauren would say, 'you should become an illustrator, possibly a medical illustrator.' my response was usually 'umm, maybe...' i can really see myself now becoming an observer of nature and doing small drawings and collage of birds, insects and rainy overcast landscapes. muddied with knats and mosquitos. i'd like to find a studio actually. i never have once looked for a space to soley use as procreation space. i'd ravage the place i'm sure, doubtful of having enough money to pay rent. i'd eventually find my easel and spare parts out on a main street sidewalk. maybe that's what i need to do in addition to changing churches, changing jobs, increasing work hours, finding a new city to live in; i ought to look for a studio space. wow. have i not thought of this before?

i am sure that i have, just never quite an option. but what about the internet and an ipod or psp? do i need a gaget, i doubt it furiously!

so here are my favorite bird type artists and their work. a multi migration of the beauty and reverence, the many perspectives of birds.

lisa c. in san fran creating the hi and lo fi modbirds i so so love to see.



and the nice work of amy, the best of color in girl-owl style. just can't believe she thought of it first, reminds me of imsmitten. reminds me that i've got to get on the 'bird' ball. so to speak.



and look who we have here and see how she's pointing us in the 'birds take flight' direction


please if you are bored at this point, don't be, you all have probably all seen the work of tania, but relish in it now. she has been hard at work, making all these bird oriented bobbles, buttons, and more. there is opportunity to purchase her work here. fly fanstatic fly



okay, so i've gone through a little bit of the best in bird inspiration. i'll have to wait until another day to be another one of those people who bring you the same stuff over and over again. but hell it's promo time isn't it?

and look, i'm going to the doctor today. i hope all goes well with me. this past month my female body took a terrible internal tumble that i can't quite explain. i am hopping that doc jones can call the shot, without bc or surgery. maybe i hurt because of stress and weight loss. we shall see.

also i'm not working tonight, horray i'm off. riverbend has hit chattanooga, so i've been avoiding the south side of the river. i don't usually hang out down there anyway, but the city has done a ton of work and it must be very nice. i am more afraid of toothless hags buying half priced pregnancy tests, but the bends just doesn't quite cut it anymore. although my friends kate and joel would absolutely love to see pat benatar, would you?

out

three strikes

you all must swerve through or take a detour by some of these great things that people all over the world are doing. it isn't just your typical little illustrators, graphic design humpsters, or mad hater dragsters. there are some real life more more more than hack out there and all it takes from people like you is to read, listen and learn. i feel that i maybe going through an entirely new educational experience that has nothing to do with the academia of our here united we stand divided society. i'm not really what you'd call a college advocate, but sure as hell i'll push you to read and sort through the thousands and millions of resources out there. at one point in visual history people must've thought we'd grown stagnant and stifled, but alas we may certainately see a new brand and recycle of recycle. i love the animated war of characters. it proves to me people still have great non batman like imaginations. not that i wouldn't love to see some of that great original print from batman artists be incorporated into the newer movie. if we've got digital why don't we use it to blend mediums more and let that be seen.

i'd love to do a compliation with someone. a short animated sewn paper film (digital of course), maybe with some great old 8mm mixed in for the scratched vintage feel. i just remember some of the great film i saw while out in california and see myself in another life producing grandier things. i just can't stand some of the stuff i do. you know how that goes though. the problem is that i have nothing that looks the same all the way around. these artists who produce a character or concept...that's what school is for i think.

i mean why am i still painting on canvas, people have been doing it for hundreds of years. i attempt to spice the mix up a bit by using 4 canvases here, but i'm unpleased and feel varied in my growth. i'd like to do bigger, monumental work that spans the globe and my street sidewalk.



while i'm at it here's a link to some other things i've done in the past, photo quality is a little lower, but you'll get the jist. misty eyed mornings and bring buddha back from the dead earth please. torn to tidbits sized pieces of paper and wax to cover the earth.

i didn't tell, but thursday night last week i was having the great fam collier over for father's day and wahlah i was attempting to use eggcups as candle holders and so i was melting wax on my kitchen stove to pour into the cups to meld the candles inside, while at that i was also cleaning up my bathroom, long disgusting time sense i cleaned it. and my cellie was ringing, thank god. and i saw the small pot of wax smoking smoking smoking. so i hurried to pull the pot of the stove and wax flew out and caught the burner on fire. boom, splash boom. the terror didn't exactly end there either. when i did get the hot wax into the eggcups the candles started melting and bending over. one of the fell and the wax fell all over the front of my stove. how terrible.

i like this more than other things. i like the idea that people felt enough to create something around our sense of touch. totally look at the things this female is doing, i so wish she'd put together a daily blog sort of thing. i am physically inspired to shake my paper creations apart. you should too!!! bustapapermove.



thanks to tania for finding this site for all of us to enjoy. i'm just going to do my blogduty and share it with the rest o yous.

well i hope this helps you warp your mind into a very different mode. i'm down three strikes, i'm outta here.

work wobble

i am getting my footing. i am getting my strength. and i have had the last few days off from work, so i should be rested and comfortable, but hell today, tuesday has been difficult. i don't mind so much because i am beginning to realise there is nothing i can do. it is all out of my hands and i have done all that i can to resolve the major issues.

i am happy to say that i had a most beautiful weekend with two of my very bestest friends in the world. kate took time out of her very busy mommie life to be with dear old erin from nyc. there's nothing like old friends, grace at it's best. the little time away from chattanooga does truly help. i also think that having very balanced critique and discussion of art, family, children, community, faith and the sort, makes all this workforce shit, 100% better. now i wish that the great lu and the lovely h along with...



fenn in the red sweater of course, just might come together someday. the riches are great when i'm not so clouded up on the inside. i sure do miss fenn. i know she's down there in lakeland, trudging away, but i can't stand that she's not up here. and oh if only h and lu, to be in one spot for just a day. how exciting that sounds. we went to one of my favorite places in marietta, harry's whole foods. yum. i bought sesame sticks, pistachio's, spinach, apples, rosemary shampoo and citrus soap by burt's bees for my face. oh i love harry's and there's nothing like it here in chatt. greenlife is 6 times smaller and several amounts more expensive. we went and ate pizza and drank coffee on the patio for hours. eden b. slept most of the time and josiah and i made up songs about guitars and rough housed while the adults played adults. erin and i made strange things happen to the knutson's coffee grinder. and i had joel take photos of us for posterity. and for fenn. i appreciate the friendships i have, so valuable. and the new ones i am beginning to find in these vast spaces of the www. i just need more balance in my life and maybe i won't feel so rough and tumble.

i am almost finished with my very first apron and kate was sweet to pick up some more ribbon for me. but i'm working every night and day for the next 14 days so i'll need some energy to make these projects happen. i miss the days of friends so close. and look at the thought hilary has begun sorting out on her blog. can you believe the momentum here girls? do you understand what it is we have? do be thankful. and thank you.

whiff whacker

three cheers for the three bestest peeps in the world today. i am not so depressed or struggling within my personal life as much as learning how to deal with not having any money here at uoha. i don't know how not to cry and whine about how difficult work is right now. i know and have faith that it is going to get better, but when the good ole docs are hanging over my head asking me where the moolah is, it makes things more than intense.

but i'll be over easily and quickly, you are right you guys, totally one hundred percent correct. in the midst of it such a difficult time it is way too easy to forget the actual blessing of it all. i am thankful for the fact that we have new pc's and a new update, windows based medical software. i am thankful for the opportunity to learn and i am actually thankful for the time of great humility in the matter. i often am shocked and drained because my mind isn't worthy of holding so much at one time.

last night i had my family come over to celebrate father's day early. aaron and laurie are going on a ten day cross the eastern coast trip. they'll be hitting up new jersey, new york, dc, and maybe a few other spots, so we had to get together before the ninteenth. laurie made a yummy homeade oreo cheesecake and i decided to get folger's mocha fusion, ice cream and coffee and ice and mix up some hot summer cool down drinks.

missing innocence

if it were not for the small moments when the world grows silent at night before i drift off to sleep, i might not think of anything but myself. i have often thought that my greatest fear was that of being me, myself, and i. though i have found that my greatest weakness is pride. fear is driven by pride in this orphan steam engine heart and soul of mine. i am shocked and horrified by...

i had started writing this entry back at the end of may, when i thought all was going well enough. but today i feel as though the waves have crashed back down upon me. there is not an end to the issues with the new software here at the workforce. i have thought to throw my hands up, but do not feel as though i have my mind enough nor hands to even do so. i have spoken so often with the software company that i feel my voice is growing smaller and smaller by the minute and my initial roar is now a annoying din like whir. shwoosh. how i am i supposed to move forward when my legs are no longer apart of my body. i feel the grey hairs on my head plotting the war against the dwindling brown. i am so sad because i feel so old and so tired and haven't thought of anything more ridiculous than the occassional tear welling up under my eyelids. it's pathetic i know. i hate feeling a self centered ness cropping up like a wild fire on the back of my brain. in the center of my heart i know that his grace is overwhelmingly sufficient for me. i am blessed to be a witness of his power to redeem whatever is wrong inside and outside of my mind and heart right now.

geez, do the waves ever stop? i am sure, completely positive that this wave will end and another will arise and by that time i'll have forgotten all about this time in my life. it's a second of hours, days and years that amount to my entire life. i believe that the situation with my co worker has slight ly resolved itself. i do not know how or when or why, but there is now mutual conversation that began this past friday. she was pleasant and offered her leftover frenchfries. i suppose it could be because i was actually the only one in the office at the time, but nonetheless the tiny blessing are there, even if i am blind to them the majority of the time.

i have had some nice off times from work. i have made no artistic progress whatsoever. i am the blahgrahblah. although i felt extremely encouraged by my times with kate, lil josiah j, and eden b, this past sunday. i mostly want to have a little bit of a baby to tote around with me. step of the workforce track and start up this procreation station, but who the hell knows a good man? i don't think there are any. honestly. and i'm not worried about bashing the good ones who are already married. i think i missed my boat to sri lanka to pick homes out of the mud. or i must've missed the college or bust op to find that man of my dreams. i don't have the time too much. what with these two freakin jobs and all. i am glad i've got a second job, i don't about getting another paycheck from all uoha for awhile. the software isn't bringing us any money any time soon.

please send the furitive prayers this a way. i cannot be without a good paying job, because of a decision i made to have new software put in the office.

my guy trends

is it me or are we as a culture diluting? watering down the most beautiful things in life. over prescribing, prematurely diagnosising, tempting children to buy things by using sex, the almighty hand of advertising. parents over indulging their children allowing them to prolong adolesence, delaying reality, disfunctional dr. phil moments. pulling boxes of cold/cough/flu medicine off the shelves because dirty meth heads squeeze the life out all they touch. sacred wars and holy peace negotiations, family values taught in public schools (screw that). where are you drunk, career loving, suv mongering mother's and father's. neglect your children and you'll die in a goverment funded nursing home, alone and abused by poverty paid immigrants or else, janet reno, donald rumsfield, tony blaire, my friend the bush. no side is a good side, except in my mind a faith side.

i am tired of seeing pre teen skluts bare their cheeks on the sidewalks of this city. i feel wary of the racism that prevails because someone named a girl in her highschool year book, "black girl", because they didn't know her name otherwise. it is tragic that the media has the upper hand and that celebrity's play and pretend to be such do gooder's, while divorcing and cheating and spending money to the inth degree. why must we have something to distract us, entertain us, all of the time?
why must children have access to our personal computers at ripe ole age of four? do we need one more video game, one more way to get our music. my radio stations torture me, but i'm not willing to go to all that effort to make my own soundtrack. where is the mystery? where is the truth? why do i need an ipod, psp, or hybrid car?

we are a culture of self doubters, pretenders, and criminals. we are also a culture that will revolt, reverse and recess the cycles. i saw this great documentary on benjiman franklin. have you seen it? check it out at pbs.org if you're at all interested. or pick up the autobiography/biography. i am going to. as he got older he truely became more of a revolutionary. bucking the british colonization, branding the sale of africans as slavery. and being the only founding father to have signed all three major historical documents, d o i, constitution, and something else b o r's maybe do you know? he was not only an inventor but an man of great integrity. who has integrity these days?

the phil my buster makes me sick. the stem cell this and that trys my patience.

you are probably or possibly wondering where all of this comes from inside of me. i am not so sure myself. i love the little guy above, but it made me wonder why we must accessorize every ounce of our lives. even the simple life in magazines takes up space. the clutter demands reclutter.

oh and guess what? i am off completely from work on monday the memorial day. how's that? oh hell. what will i do with myself? aprons are on my brain. and finishing two shadwoboxes i haven't told you about. tiny ones that i am making for smoore and mc for graduation presents. i am also employing a great artist to make two of her most wonderful creations for two of my most favorite people in the world. i've got to keep it a secret though. hold on tight guys because the weekend hasn't even begun and i'm still working.