{coral castles}***

i just decided to sort of experiment for a minute...this past weekend i had the chance:offered or asked to take photos of the band {coral castles} my brother aaron is in. frankly, i was excited about the opportunity and am even more interested to see how the photos are utilized by the band. i thought that sense the photos already seem to be mingling:on the circulation, i'd play for a day and give this great group of guys a shout out. for one, i had a really nice afternoon and thought of the many great photographers before me, those men and women out there shooting up a storm, capturing mind boggling images, and my attempts, the past, present and future. coral castles needed a shoot for posterity, the record will be important. check out more in my coral castles set.

hot cereal:laundry:enron

my exhaustion has no excuse other than the fact that at midnight last evening i was up folding laundry, organizing dresser drawers, contemplating hunger and hot oat bran cereal with soy, stamping cards, and becoming more and more of a skeptic, a "debbie downer", a hermitess of the mind, a cynic and worst of all an independent thinker. awgh. what's more i only have five, count them on one hand, five television channels. all it takes is pbs. i have no cspan, no cnn, no mtv, no hgtv, or bravo. i should say of course that it goes without saying, in every case there are two sides of every story. but my word!!! if it is midnight where you sit, grab a bowl of warm cereal. contemplate with me.

independent lens

enron: the smartest guys in the room: i wouldn't know how to go about convincing you that you should see this film. it is impossible for me to express myself when my adrenline has peaked and the passionate feelings rise to a high of confusion, anger and betrayal. or rather apathy. i know seeing and acknowledging new ideas, new forms of thinking are really important to me.

for instance i just finished reading barbara kingsolvers small wonder. like wendell berry's a gift of the good land and c.s. lewis' mere christianity i wanted to somehow escape and stay simultaneously in the middle of their words. to say i felt overwhelmed by the language, provoked by poignant fields of thought or humbled is an understatement. after completing these books and after watching enron i am beginning to think that questions aren't proactive and if you think doubting or worrying is enough you are most likely deceived. don't get me wrong though i'm usually pretty disgusted and terribly afraid of protests {verbal warfare:gang debating terror} and protesters in the midst of protesting. in my retrospective i see that i have been mindfully swayed by berry, lewis and kingsolvers thoughts on protest, war, television, and politics. my enron independent lens experience of knowledge has grown expedient. i'll leave it at that.

check out: black gold
see it now: still life with animated dogs

and look what my mom found: warm biscuit

by the way: i wasn't a button design winner, maybe next time. have a really nice day my friends.

busy beaver:button design competition

a while back i was doing some button making shopping and discovered a great little website called busy beaver. then one day i was surfing the www and found a link to a button design competition and it just so happened to be sponsered by the cool peeps at busy beaver. i tried to download the template but was unsuccessful, so i submitted my design in a square format thinking myself a royal dork. okay so a little earlier today i was checking my junkmail and found and email about the competition and wahlah!!! my button design appears on their site as an entry!!! neato, right? unfortunately i missed the voting and have to wait one whole day until judges picks are announced. there are some really cute ideas:designs and there will be twenty lucky winners and five honorable mentions. if i happen to win by chance, which would be really cool, i would win 200 FREE buttons with my design on them. this kind of thing would absolutely make my day!!! say a little prayer or whatever you do and i'll update tomorrow. check em: soandso WOOHOO!!!

move on:gearing up

i finished up the last of the drawings on the Black:White:Silver Paper Quilt Collage a few nights ago. it is a relief to have a rainbow of color to contribute to the upcoming clothesline show. i am getting really excited about sharing my new little paper quilts with everyone. i am not saying that they are the very best art that i have ever created but i do feel one hundred percent satisfied. what's left? well i'll be sending out invites this week to the show. i hope to have a stack of cards ready to sell. a little something for people to purchase inexpensively and still have a small printed piece of art to take home with them. i have got to stamp and seal the paper quilts and come up with a framing/wrapping plan. i have one little collage to go, and haven't started it yet because i really wanted to whip up a larger collage/painting, something fresh and new to hang at fitness together.

lying in bed last night i started thinking about what to send out in a five senses swap. unga bunga!!! i have a scarey halloween sounds cassette tape for "hear-ing"...i dunno know. i really wanted to try and not spend a dime this swapo'round. meanwhile i'll assume a detective style, scope a few clues from anastasia's pretty blog. this weekend i was happily surprised with a brillant little paper package from the dear emily. our earlier conversation where she happened to come across this stash of beautiful vintage wrapping paper totally slipped my mind. so when i came home on friday afternoon and found a surprise in my box i was delighted. really excited, so thoughtful emily. if you're reading: thank you thank you.
i ought to spring into action and create a little something out of all this fine material. i'll keep you all updated on the vintage wrapping paper tip as time speeds on.

and now i am remind of the paper quilt project. all is up and running and the may packets of paper are heading out our way by the end of the week. i'll stop everything to produce and send back a collage in two weeks. this is collobrative effort dream come true. check out the lastest!!!

i'm outta here, moveon.org!!!

working on our clothesline

just wanted to let you all know that katie and i have been working most of the day on a new site/blog for the women artist who are participating in the may 2007 clothesline show. i really wanted to use the new blogger format but can't take the time to learn the html language-xtml or xhml or whatever the heck it is. kind of more complicated. if you are a participating women artist and would like to contribute work or thoughts or what have you please contact me @ catcollier[at]hotmail[dot]com. i will also include your name and site/blog/myspace on the sidebar. i am thinking i ought to send out an email asking for info from each of you (the eleven). until then please go by, check out, let us know what you think. this will help not only us but the rest of the chattanooga community of women artists as well as the general public. hope all of you have an excellant weekend. takecare.

.rainbow.crush.

i promise this will be the second to the last time you will see any of these little paper quilts. only because i myself am trying to draw some sort of closure. when i've finished the black&white 2-sq. drawings i will take a few more photos and then wahlah!!! finally done!!!

yesterday i meant to post, but got caught up with uncle sam and a host of other things here at work.

katie has been working on a new and improved postcard for the clothesline show. i am growing more and more excited about this adventure. ***i am also really loving this little bird. forever reminding me of kate, josiah and eden***. i can't say exactly if or how my expectations will be fulfilled in re:to the next few weeks, just thinking up new projects. really wishing i had more time to create things with all of my mailorder friends. thinking up five senses, paper quilt project ideas and the list goes on, right?

my brother ethan called me yesterday and told me that the folks at FT were pleased as punch with the new art hanging on their walls. i am happy i could help out. and hope i can actually make more to hang. if you're out that way near target, you should stop in and check the place out. FT has a really nice, intimate sort of atmosphere, a unique workout experience from what it seems. over the weekend ethan mentioned his business website was going live. i'm super excited about this, because i am so proud of what ethan and all of his employees do. i have added a link to his new site on my sidebar, even though it is a little different than my other links it is super important that you have access to the green. considering we are in over our heads in re: to the environment. thanks to the guys at coptix for putting together a really tight site for him. way to go!!!

i also wanted to show and tell:

pete goldlust and his amazing carved crayons

one my favorite places on the www happy mundane. finding the cool!!!
wooden frog stools and "poetics of the handmade" thank you jon.

congrats to ellia and her fam:via nina

i cannot wait for sam and liam and caleb to get here.

if you're having a baby check out:
dwell
sparkability
kol kid
kazoo toys

that's it for now, i am totally worn out and the day isn't half over.

half a dozen

i am not sure i am ready to be back after such a really nice weekend off. at home burrowed in the warmth of my sheets i read, slept, made art inbetween, took lots of photos of the now, almost completed six piece paper quilt collage series. i finished the orange quilt, began the black quilt with just the two drawings left to complete. i am so pleased with how this group of collages have come together. i cannot wait to see them framed and hanging on the wall. speaking of...on saturday morning i hung eight pieces at fitness together. it took about an hour or so and i believe all looks really great. i only took a few photos so you'd get the idea. i am looking forward to the regular commitment of hanging there. i hope to make more work, larger work and more colorful work. i left a price list as well as moo cards to coordinate with the work i hung. so exciting. check it out.
maybe just maybe i'll sell something!!! but if i don't i'm real happy for place to safely store my art. my list of things to do is slowly growing smaller. not by much but at least i can say the quilts are 95% ready. i am sure your sick and tired of my progress notes but it helps me to determine the next in line projects. the priorities are: 1 more collage for the clothesline show for a total of 10.


MAY's Paper Quilt Project is #2 on the list. then the swap is #3. then it's on to painting painting painting. my paper phase will take a break and i'll be picking up the paintbrush-kickout two new paintings in the next month or so, i'm hoping upon hopes. so i have something fresh to hang at fitness together. i hope you've really enjoyed walking with me through these paper quilt collages. i feel really positive about their appeal and can't wait to get humankind feedback. they will be up for sale, under $100 bucks. if you see one you'd like and won't beable to make it to the show, please let me know in advance.

i'm gonna leave it at that for today. seems like a whole lot to take in.

week:end:agenda

my head is pounding as i mentally try to make a list of all the things that i would like to accomplish in april, then in may. i am at uoha as well, with casting crowns and third day simultaneously worshipping. my praise is mute in the morning and i seem to remember a few weeks or months ago that i felt overwhelmed and overbooked, much as i do now. come to think, it isn't all about just one thing.

immediately i am thankful for a weekend without much external commitment. i am grateful that tomorrow morning i get to transport six or so pieces to FT, what a light in the darkness. an art showing opportunity i can handle, one that isn't as intimidating as gallery exhibiting. i am so glad i was able to muster up the energy to complete the orange paper quilt last night {sorry nonew fotos}. i also got three of my paintings sides painted no time or money to frame the unframed. in the depths of my depths i am hoping that the people who train at FT are filled with inspiration and possibly the desire to purchase my art. i feel slightly vunerable about sending out this small forest i've started to create. i am going to take crimepays and recycled air and i work so hard, just incase. i have got to come up with a price list and tags for the back of the paintings (correspondence). i'd even like to have an artist statement:intent to hang, as well as cards to sell and moo's to spread. blasted!!!

my mind from here is is on the future. taxes are due, car payment and car insurance and half of december osix rent is due. i'm in a financial crunch and i'll leave the rest. no complaining, just god see me through. i dare not borrow, dare not be negative afterall the car is full of gas and fourteen bucks in my bumblebee wallet isn't so bad.

may brings with it the clothesline show and finishing up all of the paper quilts. i have yet to start the black:white:grey quilt, hoping it will come easily. i have decided on hanging der hund, the robot and the fish. and i have an extra canvas board i may just have to do a tree:squirrel to go along. grand total ten pieces. they are small works i will price below $100 bucks, framed in light wood {last minute @ framewrights/thinking of ikea frames}. a passage for me. united work, a continuity i've been striving for for so so so long. may also brings my participation in the best project ever. the paper quilt project. promising and delightfully inspiring. i cannot wait. and and and i signed myself up for jennifer's five senses swap.

i am now wondering if i will ever do any heavyduty apartment cleaning ever again. wondering if laundry is ever going to be clean. and wishing i had more vegan whole wheat-grain waffles for saturday's breakfast. take care my friends.

a pasture of pink to do

today my friend brought me two cotton skirts from walgreens. one is black with ruffles at the bottom and the other one is pink.

i am hanging art this saturday at FT.

babysitting tonight. almost finished with the orange paper quilt collage. photos to come soon. going to paint edges of paintings to be hung at FT. i asked gray and he said my work did not need to be framed. some of it will be and some of it won't be. i have also got to come up with a list of twenty five. i need to make a list of stuff i am hanging and where and prices and title cards. what did i do last night? freeze my bones off. run the oven at three hundred and fifty degrees. small amount of progress on the orange. lots to do. i have gotten my five senses swap partner. anything else you'd like to add to my list of things to do? yikes. not overwhelmed yet. almost though.

color week: handmaid

Monday : turquoise
Tuesday : green
Wednesday : pink
Thursday : yellow
Friday : red

pleading help:green tuesday

in the course of one day events change, time turns over onto itself, predictions are made, postures mastered, help is on the way or better yet, asked for. i need you. all of you. the ones of you who hide and seek. the ones who have opinions and haven't spoken. the ones of you longing for a voice and reason and a need.

i feel sheepish, altogther hesitant, and bashfully humbled. only because of this "being an artist" process. i admit i have felt very much proud and full of snobbery and have been so unwilling to show my art, share my art or even talk a whole lot about my art. hiding behind the web, hiding in flickr and in etsy. so on and so forth. i am really sorry for my bad attitude. because i know that it hurts people's feelings and it hurts the process of learning and growing as an artist. my art, my paintings and collage are things i have wanted to keep to myself, they can be my own secret, my own mystery, noone has to know if i am good or bad. art is the one area i haven't felt like sharing with the world-community because i didn't want there to be expectations or pressure. afterall there is pressure in my daily life all over the place and art needed to be my refuge, companion. i needed a place to rest without compromise.

today i will compromise and resist the temptation to bury myself underneath layers of paper, six sheets under. maybe i will surrender just a little bit more of myself today. and shed a layer of this newly acknowledge, yet useless burden. self deceit.

two very important art opportunities approaching: fast. my first obligation/commitment is to the clothesline:emerging women artists show on may 18 and 19. secondly, a chance to hang some very large work, possibly 3 or 4 pieces at a fitness center, fitness together. the question:query and my need of your help. if you read on a regular basis and know my art you know what i've got to offer. the paper quilt collage series is specifically for the clothesline show. they are each 8"x10" and will be framed seperately. i will also contribute the remaining and earlier quilts: the robot and fish all of which you can check out here. i also have der hund. that would be a total of 9 pieces, all of which are basically my paper quilts for the clothesline show. sound okay?

for FT i am thinking strictly trees: {i'm supposed to be selling poison tree to my cousin this month} i have my freezing trees that need just a tad more work/little touch up (2). i have bitter water/posturing tree. the flea market:beehive tree and recycled air plus a couple of other here and there pieces. i have two potential canvas to paint, both are larger. so that would give me a total of 5 at least for the fitness center.

so...is my thinking right about all of this? in the meantime, i'm finishing up my orange paper quilt, touching up the freezing trees and well. waiting on the next phase in motivation-inspiration. i want you all to think about what is more appropriate where? i think considering the clothesline show, you might think quilts, so why not go that direction. and trees are symbols of strength, resislence and peace, often thoughts you'd want to have will in the depths of fitness. my understanding is that the training is one on one in single type rooms, where many people grow attached to the art and later purchase it. so you've got the drift. now it's up to you. your ideas, opinions, thoughts, name it, question it and leave me a comment. i trust you all. finally.

colorweek:
Monday : turquoise
Tuesday : green
Wednesday : pink
Thursday : yellow
Friday : red

via handmaid

ssshhhhh:listen

tilt:seasons&dreams

i watch a little bit of television from where you see me sitting in this chair. most afternoons, five until six, little house on the prarie finds it's way onto fox sixty one. i used to wish and dream and believe i'd be the next "laura ingalls wilder" when i grew up. i am a bit embarassed to admit i memorized the shows entire opening credits all of which include the actors/actresses names. bah!

i cannot remember what i used to dream about as a little girl other than the prarie and nellie olsen. i know that i didn't have regular dreams of having a husband, marriage or children, those kinds didn't come until my mid-twenties. i had dreams of being a airforce pilot, a chef, and i think a pro soccer player. i remember when i started journaling though and have kept those secret pages hidden from most eyes except for my mom, who at times needed the cryptic info, to unravel her teenage daughters downward spiral. i tried this morning to go back and find my old old old diaryland account:blog, but that's all awash, a nogo. all this to say:

spring has sprung, all abloom. except for the freezing temps i woke up to this morning, and thru the end of the week. i'm glad for the cool breath of thirty degrees and too a little bit warmer weather but seriously dread the heat and humidity of our southren summer. i think my indoor plants are doing better now, this weird winter seemed to take it's toll, considering too, that all the light i get is indirect northren sun. my aloe, orchid, and orange tree are each showing new growth. bamboo on the other hand. well. i'm not so sure only because i'm not looking at it as much, just making sure it gets water.

the seasons are slowly disappearing and becoming one long hot summer i think. have you all read any wendell berry? the gift of good land. or how about barbara kingsolver? small wonder. i'm in the middle of it, steeped in the thick of feeling, thinking about green, pondering the reality of our environmental distruction or whatever you wanna call it. my aunt cathy has some land and used to have a garden. a fairly big garden. i think she and my uncle have cleared the land, more room for caleb, liam and sam to tromp around on (maybe?). could i do it, make a garden grow again? could i make this land a source of food for her family and my family. or should i start small and go for the land at the back of my mom and dad's garage? oh the ideas... could i make time? i mean when i dream now as a thrity something year old woman i think of opening up an orphanage, fostering teenage children, making a city garden in my apartment parkinglot sideyard thingy. i dream of recycled fenceposts and tincan scarecrows. i think of seeds and occassionally pull out my gardening journal, one that i kept while working for NK Lawn and Garden company as a what? a horticultrual specialist, oh brother, i'm not even close.

i love these ideas: five senses swap: swap meat: books to check out: apron chronicles: crabtree farms are there anymore you'd like to add?

Green Paper Quilt Collage & WIP

over the weekend i completed the green paper quilt collage. i bet you guys thought i was giving up all together but all the while i was a hustlin' and a bustlin' on this go around. i should probably make mention of how the green is similar and dissimilar to the others, though you're welcome to check it blurry style here on your own. the hexashapes are larger this time. the green wrapping paper i used was just too great to waste, i'm sure you can guess...the drawings-the green bird and the arrowhead trees in the top left hand corner are simpler drawings than before. and i have run out of vintage wrapping paper pieces. anyone up for a swap? as in i need more of that beautiful heavy duty vintage wallpaper.
i started the orange paper quilt last night and can't wait to see how that goes. four down:two to go. i'm still debating the last color:lavendar? grey? black or white? anyone have suggestions.

are you following our conversations? a little exclamation is due for sure. kate's blog-post, so good, well written and for me. and others, i know. we are best friends and we are all about hard conversation and discussion when need be, this one is about me showing my art.

showing it out, not just showing it in this space or that space on the great big www. but out in the community of chattanooga. i know. i haven't shown my work out since last march, a year ago at mojo burrito. i am still making work and when the opportunity comes up for me to show my work i will. maybe another mojo show? or maybe an "inapt" show? no matter what i understand. i get it and obviously the only way i am going to get better is if people see and masses speak and i hear and mull things over in my mind. joining ava is not an option right now. rx taxes are due in two weeks. framing is not an option right now, back rent is due in two weeks. april all around is going to be a tight month. may looks good and i am open 100% to handing off some of my work to show at the women's clothesline show...there.

and plus right now art isn't my primary focus. working at my jobs is, i think i feel really defensive and wonder if i should be doing something different. because i keep making art and i know in my heart that i'm getting better. i don't always know what people think about what i do that is true. but my ideas are firm and focused, my direction is now more conceptual and i feel like between my trees and quilts i have got a little niche. i'm i lying to myself?

up till this point i didn't want to talk about my art because i had no idea what my art was for or where it all was going. i have been too proud to admit i needed help in focusing. it was just about experimenting, but those days of hardcore experimentation are over. it's now time to fill the gaps and close bridges. now i can really talk about my collage and painting goals with people and not feel like a flake. i can talk about the techniques because i've done more than one tree and more than one quilt. my work is starting to find cohesiveness that it hasn't had because i wasn't in school being shown how to focus my attention or skill. i don't have a artistic background in school. i never wanted school and was too stubborn to be taught and now after playing with art it is time for me to buckle down. i get it!!!

i wonder...what more should i do? see my work in progress:orange!!!

what do you think about the dotted tissue paper from anthropologie? love it!!!

clear metal:pound&round

often i lay in bed at night before drifting off to sleep pondering my day, my experiences, my immediate reactions and overreactions, and words. words that hang around on the tip of my tongue or have double meanings or words that have no real possibility, ie. clear metal. i was thinking about the different types of responses i have received from my previous post and how blogging can become a treachorous experience about sharing and getting exactly what i've asked for. extreme as i may or may not sound i have decided after discussion and reconsideration to expound and round up this single womans mythbusters.

i'd like to be a clear metal, chemically and scientifically i'd like to be as clear and transparent as possible, to be open and vunerable and still, still be hard enough to withstand the questions, concerns, and critique. i'd like to be a walking, talking oxymoron. what are the chances?

monday night i went out with kate and joel. we caught up. joel added this bit of commentary: he said to me, "kate and you will talk on the phone for a couple of hours about everything and anything and then decide that you are going out to get coffee. how is it that two hours go by and you've still got enough to talk about, enough to go out and talk about"? it is true...true and really hilarious because i would have never seen it from joel's perspective. i think going out with kate and joel is only just a part of a the bigger community i experience on a daily basis.

on tuesday night i went out with my brother's wives, mary and laurie. we go out every week and have been doing so for close to a year now. as you probably remember the three of us took a trip to new york together, traveled together. slept in the same hotel together and even got lost in the city together. it brought us closer together for real. and with three baby boys on the way it is super important that the three of us really get to know one another. i'm going to be spending every holiday with them for the rest of my life. and to top it off. the relationships with them don't always feel good, they don't always seem easy, we all work full time in the medical field, we each deal with life and death in a very serious way...we bring our own struggles, our own stresses, and self centered ness(es) to the weekly dinner table. it is challenging to lay aside defensiveness when listening to mary and laurie talk about my family, my mom and my dad and my brothers. but it is important to hear and listen to their perspectives. perspectives of yet another different community.

on wednesday night i went out with my co worker amy. amy is someone i see every single day of my life. we work together in the same office space doing the difficult, every metamorphising job of oncology billing. amy is catholic. i'm only saying that because we are very open and we talk about everything under the sun. sex, theology, philosophy, television and much much more. amy and i have become close. she gets on my nerves, i get on her nerves. but we help each other, we teach and show and learn from one another. and i like shopping with her. so went to the mall and we went to hobby lobby to find craft supplies, so that she can make notebooks for some of our other co workers. at the beginning of lent this year amy suggested that we pray together every morning in the insurance department. so we do. almost everyday. she or i pray, d.w. and l.w., amy and i take a few minutes to lift our prayers to god. that is community.

last night which was thursday night and then tonight which is friday i am going to work at cvs pharmacy. i have been working for cvs now for over two years. i will work anywhere from 12-21 hours there in addition to my full time job at uoha. i primarily work with a sixty five year old great grandmother who has worked for cvs for 15 years. she is one of my heros. really one of my heros. she isn't perfect but she's a mentor, a true mentor. her life is a pill bottle full of tragedy, abuse, struggle, pain, some self inflicted, some from her husband, and some even from her adult children. her story is long and full of chronic loss and fatigue and joy too, but she tells me to stay away from "tarus men". she warns me not to get stuck in a relationship with an abusive man. she challenges me to never give up. save money, be frugual, provide for yourself, be self sufficent and work hard. we are close, very close and i am so happy when i see her and we get to spend our weekends together. it is hard, we don't always agree just like me and an amy and me and katie but it's good. she is my community at cvs and it is another part of the bigger community that makes up my life.

i have calvary and i have my art and my downtown apartment and space to reflect and quiet my soul. i have community and i do allow myself to be stretched into a capacity god sees fit for me to fill. when i talk about being single and i write about ideas and plans and values and standards it is important to remember that god is my father, my husband, my leader, my guide, my path, my shield, he fights my battles for me. risk is something i take everyday, posting and being this clear metal. i could spend this weekend alone in my apartment and not one of you would ever know if i disappeared. i could go for a walk in the battlefield and disappear and noone would know. i make choices that help validate my exsistence in these communities. and stating the facts and blowing myths up about being single is happening all over the world. do a google search sometime. it isn't just me. i just happen to be the only single woman some of you all know.

leaving you all with some other things to think about:

single men missing

the portrait party via veer

free people via poppy

dwell

sparkability

dwell and sparkability via print&pattern

tonight join the rest of us on the southside for artsmove on main from 3:30pm until 5pm.
have a great weekend friends. take care.

ein.uno.one

aretha's and the train masters game was so good for me last night. i needed a break from my stuffy apartment and green paper quilt collage. but for some reason all i feel like doing today is complaining. honestly my eyebrows have been knitted all morning, my eleven wrinkle is forming a battleline, my mind a bee's nest of conflicting thought and destruction. i am dinocat, hear me ROAR!!! i am going to have to put on the breaks or else i'm going to find myself in a collison course with well, something not so pretty.

i am over it. i have come to a conclusion and resolution. not anything i really want to share about right now, but it is all going to be alright. i will survive. i will thrive. i will grow. i will be strong. sounds ridiculous, much like a cat-anthem. i was sort of just upset because being single means that many people (in love) want to help me but the idea that i have to be fixed or helped is actually the most bothersome thing in the whole entire world. a long story short: this single woman mythbusters part 1:

a. i am not lonely or depressed

b. i have lots of friends

c. i am an artist who loves her space and her free time to be alone, reflective, and quiet

d. i love children but probably would like to foster +/ adopt

e. i am not indebt and do not need a man to help me financially become stable

f. i do not want to marry a man who has been married before or who has children from a previous relationship

g. i am not desperate and believe my high standards are perfectly fine

h. god wants me to be with a christian man and not just be a procreation station

i. i do like men, even though i think we are culture breeding weakness in men and that feminism will be the death and porn is hell, no matter what kind of marriage you have now, whether your man dropped the porn soon after you married him or not. i do not want to be compared to a twelve year old hairless baby girl.

oh so?whatcha gotta say?

tomorrow i will have better things to share. thank you mom for your quick and wise outlook. thank you kate for your free love and accountability and bird caps. thank you jen for your phonecalls and lovely new post.

peace

small&blurry

i am constantly exploring and learning new ways to store my very precious paper supply. in a small apartment like mine the challenge often mounts and overwhelms me, i get by, by the skin of my teeth. throughout the years i have managed to limit my paper supply to only two small rubbermaid containers. one of them holds a myriad of paper, from vintage japanese tickets, postcards, photos dipped in wax, sandpaper, mesh origami, swapped paper like the great vintage wallpaper from kristen and the like. in the second bin i have every little scrap of wrapping paper that i've ever been given or snagged from any gift giving party. i do have a larger bin of rolled wrapping paper and i do have a stack of old "vintage" wrapping paper from my nana, other than that the paper source hasn't outgrown me or my desires. it is really important that i use what i have and don't get too carried away by new origami designs or one good bumblebee's mini piles o' paper. have you all noticed the incredible new improvements over at one good bumblebee, i suppose i may be behind, but i love the atmosphere that katey has created.

i am working this weekend and will have limited time to finish my green paper quilt, but i hope to come through for everyone that is waiting with baited breath, yeah right?

to be

best coffee

since none of you seem to be reeling with ideas and i happened to drink two large cups of the very best coffee in the whole world last night before i went to bed. i was up at two a.m. pondering all of the framing possibilities...

Yellow Paper Quilt Collage & WIP

i am so excited to present to you my third completed paper quilt collage. i cannot tell you how thrilled i am to have finally finished work on this little doodad, afterall it took me two weeks or more. saturday i slept in big time and when i woke up, i jumped right into the yellow. i didn't stop until 5 o' clock or six, no shower, barely anything eaten, surviving the day with coffee and a few cigarettes. i am really pleased with how everything came together there at the end. i was debating on what kind of drawings to do in the two boxes and happened to be thumbing through an old delia's and saw this shirt and thought the design was cool enough to make into flowers. i cannot find it on the website but honestly this little photo of this black and white shirt was enough to pump my spirits up. the arrows on the left were a simple way of replicating the origami directions in the middle. the arrows also remind me of little trees. you'll most definitely be seeing arrows again. i am so so so thankful for this color in my life. it has brought a tremendous amount of sunshine. it adds yet another element to the whole of my little project and this collage like the previous ones has given me insight and new ideas, new inspiration.


on sunday i started the next:green. finally i'm getting around to the month's color. i am really excited about this little 8 x 10. it is sort of how i felt about the red&pink one. i think i'll be able to come up with a little bit more green. at least it hasn't been so difficult thus far. after the green i'm going to start orange. and then i will have a problem probably because i am not going to do purple, so i will have to pick between black, grey, or white. i'm just not a purple girl, maybe lavendar or violet could work. we'll see, cross that bridge when i get there. anyway. i am also thinking about how i want to eventually frame and put these pieces together. so if any of you have any ideas i am open for suggestions. by the end of it all, i will have six 8 x 10 collages. wondering if i should frame them all seperately or what...i just wish you all could see these up close. it has been a real pleasure to play like this for these weeks and months. hope you've had fun too.

attic-tions

i know that i should probably be thinking about green but yellow is still prominently playing in my mind. as i have not even come close to finishing my latest collage. i'm a putz for slowing to a snail's pace. instead of making yellow, i ventured out to play with my friends, tromping around the jefferson heights playground and construction site with k and fam. i am encouraged by my friends, encouraged for my friends, and happy that they are moving maybe two minutes away, around the corner and down the street. it was really nice outside last night, cool or warm enough to wear flipflops and my shirt from parable ink without a long sleeve underneath.

when i got home i felt like a thinking lab. i asked myself, "what do you feel like doing now, cat?" and the answer: "fool around with my digicam." a little self portrait play. i cannot imagine what i would do if i had other people living around me, i'd go crazy taking tons of whacky fotos.


bside: lately things have been feeling right, or better. i have been working on my heart lately. thinking before i speak, trying to be slow in my reaction, smiling and waving more. kind of neat that my foto reflects a light and warm color around my mid section-heart area. i also wanted to say that i saw this really cool thing about yoga the other night on pbs. i think i may try it out sometime. in the past i've always thought it was weird and sexual or something. who knows? but i think my eyes were opened to seeing-feeling past insecurity. and honestly i have not been working on my s.m.o.k.i.n.g attic-tion. but walking everyday helps me think about quitting. i am still even steven at or between 145 to 147. plateau city is calling my name. i'm outta here.