a view

this is all i've got for today. it's small i know but i am very thankful for what i have been given. i works for me right now. i'm just looking for a less cluttery life. slowly but surely i'll find a minimal life again.

bee creativity

my thoughts were these plus more. as i mentioned and lost in my last post when my office electricity surged on friday. i have a whole lot to say actually and so very little time at the moment. only because its the end of my day and i'm busy posting moolah.

today is tuesday june 27 2006: i actually feel like i am accomplishing things again. i say around most of last week i was exhausted mostly, unmotivated or paralyzed with the projects stacking up around me. on saturday i went to my boss's home for a girl's only pool party. there are a few pictures floating around from the rowdy event so beware. i am no where near the tan or the slim i wish i were. sincere and a million thanks to mom though for the purchasing of my brand spankin new bathing suit. i assure you it makes me feel a whole lot better. otherwise i'd be sporting a frown and a frumpy blue vintage bathing suit. it only looks like that because it's too big for me now. i am trying not to gloat, because i realize i have a ways to go in my ideal size/weight. i'm working out at night now. at least two to three times weekly. i have got to do something about my "thunder" thighs. sheesh! the pic above is what i might call my claire danes look alike pic. just a little like when she was in r&j. maybe?

so on sunday i decided to stay at home and do laundry and finish my postcard swap. i finally got all of my cards out into the mail yesterday and am so excited to see what everyone sends and how the response is. i think this will have been my fourth postcard swap and so i'm now thinking i will start a book with all of the cards it in from all the swaps i've participated in. yet another project, but at least i'd have the cards organized. afterall it would be a nice way to show people, as well as a resource for inspiration.

so what's left, well i have begun putting together my swap for nina, because i know the green is presently waiting for my pickup at the p.o.b. like i need more melmac but i couldn't resist the bright green. so summery and potentially seasonal. i've got my mugs out, ready to go in the box, but i'm still trying to get a few more things together, i want it to be worth nina's while, you know? i also started a letter to a friend, which i'll keep a secret until more things come together for her...

i'd like to finish my freezing tree 2 painting and the bicycle painting too, so that i'll have work to put into the legacy fine arts festival if i get in. kate has kindly said i could borrow her tent. woohoo! so nothing should stand in my way. wish me luck. my deadline is right around the corner. yipes!!!

thursday: bnl

yeah yeah yeah! my www world has become quite chaotic as of late and there's no real concrete explaination. i haven't wanted to blog at all but who can resist andrea's second week of color. i apologize to those of you on the receiving end of my postcard swap, nothing has been sent out. i haven't gotten any postcards either, so. i don't think any of you read phantomcrimes anyway, so i'm sorry thin air. my cards are handmade color printed with a nice long message on them from your's truly, so um i suppose the wait will have to be worth. so sorry to be such a snob today. i'm feeling quite how might you say? wishing it were the weekend. i sent my packages off last week sometime and i'm happy that both kate and hannah got theirs. i have sent a package to agnes too but we're still waiting for it to get to poland. i'm excited now, because she knows it's coming her way and just a few hours ago she wasn't aware of the fact that i was sending her something. it's all because of a vintage love swap mishap that has turned into something delightful for all!!!

oh how do you love my up out of the vaults collage for black and white day. i still have this piece
work so hard and cannot seem to get rid of it. oh i know it's not exactly the most aesthetically pleasing collage but well um it's small and mostly colorful. and it is framed...

wednesday: green

what we do and when we're close. when we were children, we'd build dropcloth sheet forts out in the backyard. another day another green, first day of summer. we haven't had rain in over a week the gas in my car is evaporating right out of the tank, just because it sits outside in the hot hot sun. i can't bare the heat and love when fall moves in upon us. summer fun begins whether i like it or not. like a pool party on saturday and gulfshores in july. for the life of me i cannot figure out why on earth my legs have never tanned. i work in an oncology office fully aware of melanoma but it hasn't stopped me from using up my tanning bed visits. i have been going here and there, laying for 15-20 minutes and nothing nothing nothing changes about my ghastly ghost legs. my parents got back from cancun the day before yesterday and my mother was bright, bronze and beautiful. my father well the man is pale. boy do i follow in his little genetic footsteps.

green thoughts as in i wish i had a garden. i do have what i've identified as an orange tree growing in the pot that once held my banana tree. and the day before yesterday matt gave me some moneyplant seeds. while mom was on her trip i watered her gardens and felt the greenthumb pulling me. green thoughts of making and sending out my postcards. i mean i've addressed four of them, but i've got a whole lot on my plate. i'm relaxing. i'm painting a concrete sunflower for amp. and finally i'm getting the most beautiful colored green melmac in the world. details to come. i also have been working on something, just today on the computer, but in my mind prior. that i hope to beable to share with you at some sooner future point. at first it was a "fringe" thought but now it is becoming more of a reality. nothing to huge, not like getting new previa or bringing home a new baby. no waste wednesdays and spt is abandoned for now.

tuesday: blue

i couldn't help but pick a popular photo from my flickr account. it fits the mood and color fantastically if i do say myself.

monday: yellow

my yellow house.

yellow teeth

yellow squash

mellow yellow

gold?

yellow light yellow sun

red leather yellow leather red leather yellow leather red leather yellow leather red leather yellow leather red leather yellow leather.

love the yellow, is it all that depressing?

my week in color: blue and red 101

"my carpet is an ashtray." there are thoughts and words, and phrases that have just the right amount of letters, syllables, vowels or consanants that they sound ridiculously right. i was miserably unmotivated and so neglected my blue and red. so in my experience with color this week i thought it'd be excusable to combine these very complementary colors. you may ask, what would we do without our blues and reds. it's about the same as aqua blue and brown. the perfect match.

just think we'd be without so much that drives controversy in this country. i mean what do these colors represent? for instance any debates regarding our country's flag, so brightly blue and raging red. wherein southern states consider the rebel flag (it has red and blue in it) to be so very acceptable and prominently placed, causing giant issues that i won't go into nor express an opinion. we have controversy over whether or not our country's red and blue flag should be flown half mass for those men and women who've lost there lives in the last three years of our "winning the war on terrorism." after all soldiers lives have never been so honored in any of the country's previous wars. and what about our country's political hemispheres. we are now are the divided states of blue and red. how wonderful, a color that represents my political affiliation. why aren't they pink and baby blue, i wonder?

it is amazing to me how much a color begins to represent something, our favorite sports teams, our insatiable desire for soft drinks, logos and brands have their own copywrited color. i thought it brillant when starting the week out in white, only because white is the absense of color, that's why i was quick to define it. it's a pure and pigment free, right? here i am at the end of my week in color and i might've actually learned something about myself, others and our views on color.

phillip and katie were too kind to rid me of once my fussball table. i was so proud of it for a short while. because of the color, because it was almost like a piece of art. and because of the very photo like above. and before i was shooting with the dinocam so all was blazing bright. the picture below is a favored one, because my miniature red bicycle. via jen. on to other things because i'm now tired of writing about blue and red. i have no more knowledge of the matter. but i do know this, i received the sweetest package from my dear bestest friend kate yesterday!!! i have to big up it here only because the freezer paper stencil shirt is the ka boom! pic to come!!! thank you sweet girl. sincerely. and for you hannah and agnes my packages have finally left the scenic city and are now heading your way! keep the eyes peeled.

i have to work this weekend so it is no play for me. i hopefully will have fresh batch of pictures come monday. although matt informed me that all my recent pics were erased from my camera, oh well, oops! and thanks for the greatest comments. did i mention that i've got a comment moderation thingy on now, so no more trashtalk! and i've brought my archives back so...

outta here have a good weekend i'll be back on monday i suppose.

my week in color: grey 101

my knowledge of grey revolves around this corner of my office. i wore a grey shirt today without thinking of my week in color. i thought i would like having a pair of grey new balance shoes, but have found them to be rather plain, slowly turning brown. i enjoy the grey skies of chattanooga. only because grey has a tendency to make everything around it look so bright and colorful, absolutely brillant. at scad it was pointed out while touring that their gallery walls are all painted grey inorder to accentuate the vivid color student work. a small dream i'd have if i owned a home would be to paint my rooms in shades of grey. awh wouldn't that be nice?

back to the office space though, i must explain that my office area isn't as boring as it looks. i' work at a long aqua-teal counter like desk that has cabinets above. actually the office as recently redecorated/updated and so there's fresh wallpaper and better "office art.'' we actually hate the copy machine and it tends to get the beatings. i don't believe in the ink fairy and we take turns feeding the machine a ream of paper now and again. i think grey is soothing for the most part and i doubt i could live without it's slimming looks when worn, like in a t-shirt. hope you have perfectly grey day.

my week in color: brown 101

i have brown eyes, brown hair and today is tuesday. i forgot that i needed to get gas before work and left the apt without drying my hair. it is a less put together brown day. i stayed up later to work in the brownish grey pages of a 99cent crossword puzzle mag. even though i have posted my elephant puzzled piece before i had to help the urge and show you. i like dirt and used to make mudpies with dear pals on parker lane, you know who you are! dirt is brown and brown is especially beautiful with blue, i'm reminded of shashi's choice of paper, what a treasure. globe's and maps are basically beautiful for the same exact reason. the brown's and blue's! whaha! i like brown light, that tone of sepia. not one you have to manipulate so much but light like this. i like my brown reef flipflops that i bought in the gulf last year, they've been a hit. the summer wouldn't be summer without a pair of your favoritely walked in flops.


i promise that i'm not mad about anything. i promise that i'm tired and i feel torn between two of me. i've not contributed to pop art spt yet in the month of june, so here it is girls and boys. i take a whole bunch of photos before i go to bed every night a way to wind down. i like cutting and chopping up pictures like it's paper. i'm not sure that this one qualifies but isn't pop art-popular art, collage um? or not? this pic reminds me of how much i'd like to sell the painting in the background of how much i'd like to clear my apartment out and start all over again. this pic speaks of many circles developing under my eyes i must try at least once a week to heal with burt's bees compfrey ointment. i think of how much i wish i'd get my bicycle up and going. how as a little girl i thought i most definitely had a pumpkin shaped head. how i'm beginning to think that i'm never going to grow taller. and you'll never get a full figure shot of me for spt. i mean for god's sake you'd think i'd know by now, i finished growing in fourth or like fifth grade. again this is a good example of brown light, a perfect assembly of color, brown and blue. how come we store up emotions and how come i'm not as bold as i'd like to be. before you sell out on your appearance you may want to think about what you'd be creating. before you decide to stay up too late you might want to remember my deep wrinkles, it's scarey so don't look to closely!!! awhga!

my week in color: white 101

white ( P ) Pronunciation Key (hwt, wt)n.
The achromatic color of maximum lightness; the color of objects that reflect nearly all light of all visible wavelengths; the complement or antagonist of black, the other extreme of the neutral gray series. Although typically a response to maximum stimulation of the retina, the perception of white appears always to depend on contrast.
The white or nearly white part, as:
The albumen of an egg.
The white part of an eyeball.
A blank unprinted area, as of an advertisement.
One that is white or nearly white, as:
whites White trousers or a white outfit of a special nature: tennis whites.
whites The white dress uniform of the U.S. Navy or Coast Guard.
A white wine.
A white pigment.
A white breed, species, or variety of animal.
Products of a white color, such as flour, salt, and sugar. Often used in the plural.
Games.
The white or light-colored pieces, as in chess.
The player using these pieces.
The outermost ring of an archery target.
A hit in this ring.
whites Pathology. Leukorrhea.
A politically ultraconservative or reactionary person.

all i had in my stash was this meager photo of an onion for my first day of the week color week color. you may laugh now. but i thought i would turn the tables, tinker tips on tastebuds and tears, or something along those lines. at one point i took a slew of photos while making a batch of salsa. there's no doubt you have already heard my onion tip, but for those of you who don't know...if your eyes are sensitive to the vapors given off my onions, try sticking that onion in the freezer for at least 10 minutes before you go to chop it up. it works, i mean works better than a candle. i love onions in my salad, chili, soup, sandwich, salsa and guacamole. humum!!!

i had a nice weekend off. caught up on much needed sleep. did laundry, punch holes in cards, finished reading one book and started the curious incident. i wouldn't be much of a book critic...and have you heard of this? and did you happen to catch charles osgood yesterday morning? come on guys...check out her beautiful memorable work. you can't tell me we aren't still being influenced by this woman's handiwork...

DESIGN: Eva Zeisel, 99 years old and still working, is considered one of the most important industrial designers living today. You may not have heard of her, but you have probably seen and used her curvy creations. Her tea service, dinner plates and serving bowls have graced tables around the world for more than half a century. A retrospective of her work is now traveling the country.

i'm outta here.

no place like home

in the midst of a storm there's no place i'd rather be than in my second floor apartment. where the smaller younger trees blow bending below me, nearly beside me. there are rare moments when i'm at actually at home and simultaneously have the thought to snap photos. i have a feeling most people are like me, carrying a digicam around has to become apart of your life support inorder to get the sweet experiences, mostly memorable, instead of kick yourself type pictures. i'm not sure i remember how our conversation began but a friend, a new friend at that told me that she has a bucket or basket filled with undeveloped film. neglected rolls of undeveloped film may just be a global issue, who knows? don't feel too bad, you're saving money and she spoke of the delight at not knowing what will come out. i too have one roll of film in my manual from last year, lonely and waiting to be finished up.

i know i'm getting my money's worth from the digicam only because yesterday was the first day i got to see matt skratch, matt skratch? yeah seriously. you know, early on i joked about being a dj because i was terribly inspired. i have always been intrigued by the culture, spirit, genre, and characters of the scene. it's like the grafwriters and underground hiphop people, those truly under the hill. mind you, not over the hill as in being 40 years old...blahdeblah. i suppose i won't say much more about that.

this weekend i am off and i must finish some paintings. i am looking forward to sleeping in, drifting in my daydreams, finishing 'me talk pretty one day.' starting angels and demons. sewing some graph paper for my next family tree collage idea. i often feel like i have the opposite problem of most people. i can come up with an project idea in a snap, having the motivation. we shall see.

off the top

go kodak! discount prices! where have those days gone? sunday was one of those days, a day that goes down in the books as being one of the best. a delightful moment of discovery, the split second illumination and exposure. when you're surprized by the boldness, openess, and definition of a unity.

i wasn't gone so long on purpose, i hadn't planned a long hiatus, nor blogging break. there are indeed a thousand and one excuses, good and bad. the calm is more like wordless stretches of time. the stress break from work is now, but i'm focusing more on the insurance job. september will be five years. the longest i've ever been at one place before. i might be better off just listing off my thoughts in a not so chronological manner, stream of conscience. i sent off the first of three packages today. my vintage love swap, though late in it's departure is next. so hold on sweet agnes. i have one for hannah too, if you're reading...

i have been thinking a whole lot about my mother and father, my little sister emoore and of my part. parenting must be difficult and exhausting, exhilirating and blah de blah, joyful and saddening, all or nothing. part of me has been feeling all of that for my mom and dad lately. i know there is pain, i know there is learning and growing to do and repentence and all of that fine stuff, but what is my part? don't you often feel like you'd want to just be perfect, so that you could take other's struggles away for them. don't you wish you could die for someone, just so they'd get it? oh hell i'm not perfect, my head is full of evil thoughts 99 percent of the time and i'll resist repentence until all of my homegrown strength is depleted. and really what it all comes down to is whether or not i feel ready to have my own children. of course i'm not in a marital position to do so, but that won't stop me. i have been devoting sometime to the ole www search and destroy-foster parenting. i am wondering, really wondering. having said before i turned thirty that if i weren't married by thirty i'd seriously begin to look into fostering/adoption. i'm thirty and all i've done since january 06 has been to: diet, exercise, take vitamins, have an artshow @ mjb, work the 60 hours, and think about myself. i'm not bored and i'm not sad, i don't know about marriage and i don't know about childbirth but i know children like i know...i mean my heart is just pulling me. of course there is no rush. and of course i've got to think think think, pray pray pray.

gosh there is my art my art um and the lack there of. the fact that creativity comes in spurts, sputters, and squeezes. sounds like a GI issue? yuke! i did a personalized stamp that i've used to stamp my cards, they're ready to sell. um but no one is interested...what's holding me back from the blueskies avenue? anyone wager a guess. and the times in atl with dear sweet aj, was as i said in the first paragraph, more than that. it's like opening a door and not being able to shut it or keep all that is on the otherside inside. a bubbling aftermath of thought and how might i becoming swampy? anyway i do have much joy to look at and for. postcard swap to come with ns. and maybe one day i'll get a vintage package...we shall see, but all of this doesn't matter until the joy is found in me first and to be thankful is to be content. it's coming, i'll be there, it's on the tip of my tongue, or just around the corner.

anyway, apology for being out.