back and burning

i have always wondered how rocks and wires appear upon my ledge, considering i'm not the one putting them there. yesterday the wire looked so nice in the light. at some point someone was trying to break in the apartment building. there are more and more people moving into the grand that are section eight. i'm not though. how is that supposed to work? a court order? i might be considered section eight. the building maybe under new property management. i say maybe because there are staffing transitions but no name change. i've noticed more and more neglect but have no idea what larger city downtown living is like. i'd hate to live down on main next to the firehouse. those condos/huge apartments don't seem to be getting good solid sound proof windows.

i had a really nice weekend and after fighting the infection i feel ninty five percent better. i still have got some residuals...but on saturday my mom and dad invited me to a bagel brunch. we talked and munched and talked just a little bit more. the room, the room i love is now a robin's egg blue and mom got that cool wicker furniture from pier one. ooo. so so so pretty. i oughta take some shots. mom and i planned to shop but as soon as i got in the car i felt terribly ill. i even had to cry a little to get all the sickness out. such a strangeness about my health, both physical and mental, these days. my mom's generous spirit is undescribable. and my appreciation pales. because i'm humbled by her love and humbled by the beautiful things we found together for me to wear to the beach. i have wondered if the struggle with my appearance was worth writing about. the ideas and desire to change the outward (as the inward side of me is constantly growing) yikzers! it's an awkward thing to blog about and nearly ego-gross! i mostly think it is interesting because i never once thought there might be something wrong with me at less than 5 foot and weighting a ton. it was never a consideration. nor had it ever revolved around my faith so much.

in re: to sunday. there was cc and wonderful news and teaching on dreams. so i wrote a bit in my private black book about what some of my dreams are. and also what some of my accomplishments have been in the last year. it's hard for me to think about these things when i'm only trying to get through today. but in retrospect all is a lot better than i could ever imagine.

i am starting more art stuff too. and painting again. after all it has been a long time. too long. and tomorrow i'm leaving for the gulf, so i won't be back for a week or more. i'm glad to be going. and on the 29th there is ryan adams, but k8 i'm not sure about getting off, because i'd be not working on my designated rx weekends. i'm still trying though. and no one has ever said a word about my header, and i've got new photos up in flickr. check em.