full time pull of war

by now we may all be sick of seeing the poison tree progress but here we go again. over the weekend i attempted to add what you might call a sunburst-like area in the top right hand corner of the piece. by doing so the piece balanced itself out a little, because the tree was weighing the right side down so. in addition i began adding a little bit of paint at a time. first it was blue to accentuate the tree and then i had to go back over it a little with some white. then i had to splatter some yellow and some green which you can't see from the photos because as you can tell there are not green and yellow splatters. and then some more white, even now it looks different. but i've almost had enough. the learning experience has been a vivid, quite wonderful this go around and i've started four new smaller pieces, using the same techniques. the ideas have finally become concrete and poison tree seems now more like an encaustic and less like a collage. i am so very fond of layering, i want my audience to really be fooled by what they are looking at, fooled by how it was actually created. i have always enjoyed making my paper art look and feel like it has been created using computer programming tools, now i feel more than ever that i'm showing these sorts of thoughts off. i have found the right medium-paper, paint and mod podge-i know that this piece is full of color and yet in the last week i have felt extremely dark. often i find that my deepest feelings, my darkest thoughts are not reflected in my work at all. it's odd but so very true. i'll be putting the poison tree up on etsy within the week. a couple of peeps have inquired, so...

sunday was full of family times at my aunt's home. i spent the last hour walking around her home taking photos of her land, her gardens, her flowers, her moss and my family members. i have got a whole slew, not stew, of new pics creeping onto my flickr. i usually cannot stand a nature shot, love flowers and things like that but can't stand my pics of those sorts of things. i'm looking forward to getting through the first part of this week to thursday. planning a day and overnight to the onethousands for s.c. reunion of sorts. our plans: botanical gardens. our conversation: catch up, art, kids, and such. our faces: all smiles.

i should beable to find some emotional peace soon.

when to the gyn this past friday. in two thousand two i weighed in at his office at 153. two thousand three: 161. two thousand four 168. two thousand five: 151. two thousand six: 142. dr. a. jones congratulated me, told me now i have to work on my smoking...eeeKKK! i'm thankful for my youth and my health. god is still at work in my hear-blah and i am more free than i used to be. the chains are slowly falling away from the burdens i have chosen to carry for oh so long. i do see light, rarely but yes. the light fades and then reappears. i fight the simultaneous nature of being. my motto seems stale and stretched out like a crusty rubberband. SCREW- "your greatess weakness=your greatess strength!!!" well okay so i'm better at least i think i'm better at preaching it, than i am taking it all to heart-proactivally taking charge. i'm trying to be bold and less emotionally clingy. or something. and i'm not feeling that terribly bad about things it's just...well you know. just looking forward to an uplifting time with good very best friends.