.single.one.sole.

fairly new cards are now up for sale in my etsy shop!!! only four bucks a card!!! i've got three more designs to post so keep and eye out. take care.

the spirit of

When the revenant came down
We couldn't imagine what it was
In the spirit of three stars
The alien thing that took its form
Then to Lebanon Oh, God
The flashing at night, the sirens grow and grow
Oh, history involved itself
Mysterious shade that took its form
Or what it was, incarnation
Three stars Delivering signs and
dusting from their eyes

Sufjan Stevens

apple eyes

i have been overwhelmed with a thousand thoughts, tending a garden of ideas and projects, beehive trees, and "must-send" packages. i stumbled last night, pleasantly, in an hour long conversation with my mother. i'm often caught in a spider web of negative thinking, it is impossible to not feel one hundred percent better after blabbing innocently with a best friend like my mom, though. our friendship grows more mutual, more relaxed and positive as the years go by. i am without a doubt more thankful than ever before for mom. her story is different from mine, having had three children at the age of twenty five, never having lived alone as i have, but facing the same struggles. she reminds me of the love i need to share, give and consider. and she is open, transparent, fearless and less insecure. so i have justified, calling her was the best thing i could have done last night.

i wish that i had more to show and tell about. i'm not eager to give as much away at this point (beehive tree) maybe next week i'll show more work in progress. i will be honest i am discouraged about selling art via etsy. i am not complaining though. it is not as though i haven't ever sold my work before, afterall i just made two fifty on "one growth", and my brother and l.c love it. that's not looking a gift horse in the mouth is it? i am open to showing-exhibiting, i just don't have time to nor the quantity of work i'd like to submit. my work is still unifying itself, i'm learning anew. how do other artists actually paint the same thing over and over? i have never been that way and find it hard to stick with my trees. i can say though, that the practice isn't there yet, and i still have joy in the midst of my garden of trees. it is a growing forest.

i think i may take a break from phantomcrimes for a while, not sure yet.

the life of my weekend

1.
saturday morning: 9:11 a.m. before the pickup. took a small daytrip to atlanta (roswell) with jen to the dick blick. happy purchase of gel medium, modpodge, and origami paper.





2.

saturday evening: 7:31 p.m. at the TENshow. highlights included: the large light fixture, graphic design, music by j.d., meeting new friends, seeing my brother at the end.








3.

saturday evening: even later 11:30 p.m. at the pickle barrel: after party. catch up. gathering and reunion. highlights included: seeing old friends, talking with old friends, laughing with old friends. playing with my canon.








4.

sunday morning: early 1:00 a.m. at lamar's: the after after party continues. highlights included: joel's spontaneous dancing, good music, random christmas lights, soft couch, warmth. times with friends.









5.

sunday afternoon: 2:00 p.m. family dinner after time at calvary. highlights included: good vegetarian meal, family love, warm and cozy couch, helpful conversation with suzanne, white kitchen photo opp.





6. WIP

a mother's gift

to be all things with all the love she can possibly muster up the strength to have.

on target now:etsy sale too!

i reserved the temptation to pick up these wooden chinese dolls at target last night. when i went to gateway with my aunt a couple of weekend's back, i saw and picked up a wooden doll that was similar to these but taller and unpainted {i didn't purchase it either}. i should have bought that one, it seemed older and less manufactured.

i have put almost all of my art up for sale on etsy. i mean discounted prices, almost all of them are half off the original asking price. i also have put two of my paper quilt collage pieces up for sale both the fish and the robot. the blue bird paper quilt is not for sale because i do not own it anymore.

here are a list of of pieces and they're original:sale price.

1. Crimepays: was $200.00 now $100.00 (black gallery frame)
2. Poison Tree: was $400.00 now $250.00
3. Der Hund: was $150.00 now $100.00 (black gallery frame)
4. Recycled Air: was $400.00 now $275.00 (black frame/matted white)

if you have any questions please feel free to contact me. have a good weekend and take care you guys.

shape of tree

between the shape of a tree there are planes of color and my imagination. i have begun anew to pick up the old yellow bicycle piece, to recover, recycle, reuse, renew the once started, left behind piece. to pursue the path of yet another tree. i have no earthly idea what will come of this go. all that i have to offer at this point are my shapes, the simple lines, the beehive base of my new tree trunk.

about a week ago i started reading ahab's wife written by sena jeter naslund. i have made my way through it, learning and seeing through Una's {the main character's} eyes and life. i have never read anything by naslund and am interested to know if you, any of my lurking readers, have indeed. it occurs to me now as i write that the last couple of books i have read have been set near or around the water, sea or ocean. sailing and sailors, stars and ships afloating, cold air and winds that take you're breath away and tear at the corners of your eyes. i'm ready for the cold weather and wish it would hurry up and get here. i am more than eager to see the death of a lingering warmth here in the south. i hope so for a snow, a cold bitter snow to kill all of the bad things. i haven't even needed to run my heat and cannot for the life of me imagine living in a warmer climate year round. oh the poor oranges and avocados.

i have been going a bit fluttery about a few things:

1. in love with these lily cards from ISAK

2. sharing my books means: cuckoo bookplates

3. help me! who doesn't need this: owl notepad

in addition: if you are in the area being that of chattanooga, my brother aaron pleasantly informed me that wendell berry will be a speaker with the southern literature conference. mark your calendars!

caleb.collage.&.one by one

my hours at the rx are being cut back to about twelve per week and so hopefully i'll have a whole lot more to cross off my list. i had to work this weekend and didnt' find as much time to get things finished. i did however finally finish bitter water {pretending/posturing tree}. i had only a few more touches to make. i added some small stamped lettering and a few more touches of white as well as a full coverage of modpodge. i wasn't feeling the "hot" aspect of the painting and so there isn't going to be much more red or orange. maybe next time around. i started tracing out the shapes for my next tree. i have the canvas ready to go, now it's just getting the shapes going. i started a project with the buttons i received from nina last week. not exactly a button wreath. more like a button "ball". doesn't sound cool does it? i also did the doodle, a little drawing of my soon to be nephew caleb. my love for him is growing every day. i cannot wait to see him and meet him. i know that by his first halloween he won't be standing or even walking but i was drawing more from a stream of conscience. nothing as specific. i also went to see 'we are marshall' over the weekend with my dad. umm. i'll have to get back with some sort of review. i enjoy "man-ish" sortof films, football is fun to watch and play, this is a sad very true depiction of this story, and that's it for now.

WIP:pretending/posturing tree:bitter water

i am terribly sorry about the long, overly descriptive title of this post. i have no idea why i feel it necessary to include every bit of this painting's title, quite ridiculous, isn't it. considering i usually have a very difficult time with titles, this one came about, a very big no brainer. i'm really excited about the progress i have made. knowing the work on this tree is coming quickly to an end. the last few details are on the table and i probably just need one or two more free nights to complete it. i took a huge break over the holidays, all the way back to thanksgiving, because my family was coming over and i had several holiday projects underway that this painting seriously took a back seat. no more!!!

i am starting off the year exactly the way i looked forward to. last night i finished the second {very small & quick} read of the year. david sedaris' "holiday on ice." so unlike the last book i read, this one is very different, quite opposite and jaw-cringing. despite. afterall, i am fond of taking turns in my reading. i tend to read a couple of books by the same author in a row, then move on. i read "me talk pretty one day" by sedaris, last year and enjoyed it, as embellished truth, not complete fiction. these books have very raw tendencies that tend to make you want to cringe. sometimes so sarcastic, so painful that i had to question whether i should ever read something of sedaris' again. although i'm sure i will because i'm totally interested in barrel fever and naked. but the reviews speak to his irreverent verbage and off the wall collection of thoughts-stories. his six christmas stories remind me of how angry i was in highschool, how desperate i was to be free and rid myself of the norm. i am not sure if this book has any redemptive qualities, it is thought provoking and if you're like me; you'll enjoy the writing style and word choice, sentence structure is so nice. as i read i often tend to attempt to copy the writing style of the author. awh what a dork. that is my review.

bside: the little red mailorder envelope arrived yesterday{big thank you to amy!!!}. slide beneath my apartment door awaiting my anticipation and glee!!! i am going to try an tackle several things in january.

a. instead of a button wreath; i've got a styrofoam ball and i think it might be nice to make a large button ball to hang in a hallway arch...

b. i'm going to finish pretending/posturing tree:bitter water^

c. complete this WIP

d. enter this exhibit and benefit, but first find out what the deadline is. i know i'll enter my fish and robot

e. send nina a package of cool vintage things

f. begin to collect and eventually send a valentine package

g. work on the cross stich and other projects in mailorder #5

meanwhile will continue to walk everyday, eat right and cut back on the s.m.o.k.e. my january 2007 looks full but i'm willing to try for it. why not?

outages

there have been scheduled outages all day today and so i've been taking advantage of the time and actually working. you may think i'm a squirm for blogging while on work time but i've done it since the beginning and no one here has a problem with it. is it ethical? well. if everyone is doing it than the rules are changing right? and if i'm getting my work done, i mean really getting it done, not lying here. or fudging the facts than who is it hurting?

this past weekend was insane at the creative discovery museum and sunday i spent the day with my aunt at gateway. we walked through the entire place, taking three hours to catch up with the merch. i did find a few little things which i will try and share in the next couple of days. i also received a sweet swap package from nina with all kinds of fun goodies, can't wait to show you all!

show & tell:vote

**very special goebel birds**

the most important thing that i have to mention...in a very sheepish sort of way, is that it is again time for bloggies 2007.

every year i love seeing who has {won} in the varied catagories. it is an exciting way to find new writers, new artists, humor, and the daily life of someone else like me across the globe.
i have been blogging for quite a long long time and have very few readers, that i know of. with some definite pride i think i've got a very nice thing going on here. i feel comfortable in this niche'. i have often thought about writing less and posting more photos. i've wondered about the art i post or the lack thereof. i have wondered about how our society seems to create cliques even on the great www. i feel i fit in some sort of clique here, even though i am not sure how or when or why. at times it has boggled my mind at how people have come across phantomcrimes. and certainly sitemeter has changed my views on blogging. i have found that people search for the most outrageous and sometimes rather hilarious things, and so haphazardly find phantomcrimes.

someone actually was searching for "artist sh*t paint", which led them here. someone else must've been actually feeling the terrible weather we were having yesterday, their depressing search "glummy Sunday music", led them here. oh brother, i really do love this, this process we have going on, throwing out our thoughts, like target shooting almost. looking back i have found blogging to be one of the most rewarding things, aside from actually painting and making art, i've ever pursued. fellow bloggers feel the same exact way, i read about the community and unity almost everyday! i have met and followed several for so long it is second nature. i continue blogging for the sake of family and friends but also to share with the anonymous, and give something, even it is really little, back. i have done so many different swaps i remember my very first with hilary from weewonderfuls. it was so thrilling to get mae in the mail!!!

well i say all this to get you all to vote if you'd like for phantomcrimes or maybe you'd rather vote for one of my dear blogging friends>see my teansy blog role to the right. it isn't really about winning for me, it's about knowing and being involved in this great community.

and look at the crap i posted last year...unga bunga!!! how embarassing:)

weigh of the evening

i felt like crawling into a cup of hot coffee last night when i returned home from the pharmacy, but instead found the stale nestle cocoa in my cramped cabinet. an incredible pile of wrinkled but dry clothes lay in the middle of the apartment living space...

listening in

now i am falling behind to listen more closely. to give myself a little bit more time to catch up and gain lost momentum. i started painting again, every night since the new year began. the brush caught up with a little hint of transparent yellow{christmas gift via matt}, the excuse is a cover-up.

i will ready myself, to tarnish my own name for the sake of my friends, throw the first wave of attack and bank myself on the shore of fantastic {may i be bold and say superior} art making-anti gallery-anit fest participating in chattanooga. there should be a call for boycott, a call to the fringe, a better competent exclaimation of why and how. you may ask, where is my respect? my sincerity? awh but it is a blur. there are no official rejections!!! there are holy causes, mysteries pursuits, talent beyond reason, let your hearts not be broken let them rise up and rejoice! for we are, united we stand rejected. it is not all asham but a creepy pasture of questions that shouldn't be asked until you aren't painting anymore. yes and more yes. there is room enough for us all to grow and learn and i don't doubt the meaning of it all, but i for one will not stand to let my friends be discouraged in a city where there isn't any urban, "where's the graffiti?", and no sight of pushing the envelope and the lack of respect for collage as fine art. the end. the answer is in us not in the monopoly, the who's who in art in chattanooga. my goodness she's gotten funding:winner! doesn't that count for something? in my book it does so very much.

i will stop. besides kate and jen are probably already sick of my rantings...

bsides: i finished my first book of the year. even though i started it in 2006, i'm going to count it and eventually put it up on my sidebar, so that i might be reminded of my reading accomplishments and commitment to more. now it's on to this one> book number two for 2007. here i come.

i didn't break down and have a cigarette until 5pm yesterday.

fight to hold

while the intensity of revival, blossom, rebirth and red are on the tip of my tongue. i'd bargain a chance meeting with rest, comfort, thankfulness and peace. the little greenthumb i have has never cared for an orchid before. it is indeed a new subject line inwhich to write. an out of focus rehearsal of capture the flag of fight. fight for holding on to the spirit. fight for growth. fight for the lights attention, for dry winter warmth. to live with ambition and rest contented with the fight. as the very new year with very new days approach i think i've got to raise the white flag and surrender to resolution. there is a common bitter feeling making it's presense known and the eager wishes to succeed. a few things to work toward, goals to score, maps to quest, and trips to travel.

i will fail to mention: i must quit. smoking. when is it my time? does it have to be january? i will be losing. twenty. i will have digital images of all my works on slides made. i will have books made to sell and buttons too. i will have a laptop by the summer of 2007:before the a annual uoha beachtrip. i will help my friends get jobs, move, and celebrate. i will spend more time with my mom, i will read more and review more and share more. i will paint more and sew more paint chips together...there will be more correspondence, more diligent work and more meaningful vacation. there will be new nephews=a total of three! there will be more love and more endurance. and i will ask for help. i will need your help to fight.

the very best candle from thymes. and life as experimentation. i was at my friends house the night before last watching blue planet. i couldn't help but think how huge our world is and how we are so blessed to be surrounded by the smallest bits of beauty. my mother and i concluded that if we happened to be exposed to too much beauty, we'd die. i think it hurts sometimes...so beautiful it hurts. isn't that what two thousand seven should be about?

presently reading: sheldon vanauken's little lost marion.

over and out

christmas happened so quickly, in a blink, over and done with, 50% off sales, and the onslaught of valentine's day. i am still savoring the quiet moments, alone in my apartment, watching the snowy drizzle fall, gazing upon all of the perfect little gifts, my dear sweet family and friends thought to give me.

one pleasantry has been my introduction to the decemberists via kate, 'my crane wife' has been the perfect addition to my holiday music soundtrack. along with gnarls barkley and sufjan stevens, seems a fair variety. i have received some of the most lovely birthday and christmas cards ever, they seem to still be trickling in, along with another beautiful ornament. i think i'm still waiting to get another one or two more ornaments and a couple christmas postcards too. it is completely alright. i have plenty of other things to focus on now.

i never have gotten around to making granola! i never put my christmas tree up and i never decorated. i have the first two days of the new year off. i should pull my easel out and start painting again...nothing is holding me back now. i also should write my thank-yous and research the printing and button making companies...there's a host of things i ought to do.

several months ago hannah sent me this beautiful paper and i finally put it to good use. i thought kate would appreciate the non traditional wrap. she's also so good at recycling the tidbits leftover. i also wanted to make a note of whipup. i noticed this post on paint chips and so wish people knew how easy and wonderful these little colorful pieces are to work with, create, recycle and most of all inexpensively share beauty. after all there is recycled air.

munch-kins

i finally got around to making these little guys, my favorite christmas cookies of all time. they've only been apart of my little tradition for a couple of years, not many of them were eaten this year. wonder why? noticed a plate of them at the wards/knutson family home on christmas eve. not too sweet and just enough spicey, yummy crunch, sort of like a spice shortbread.

i have had an incredible holiday, i'm not ready for it to be over quite yet only having to come back to work makes it all vanish so quickly. i have received an enormous amount of love over the last few days, i'd so like to feel that all year long. more so i'd like to carry out and boldly have the christmas spirit all year long, the giving patient spirit. i'll probably take more break time. i have load the majority of my fav christmas photos though.

woodland whispers

only one more day of this medical and pharmacy business and i'm off to celebrate with family and friends, good eats, good times, listening, talking, wishing really really hard for snow, tasting the greatest joy, giving until my pocketbook hurts. or my fingertips become raw from wrapping. this year is closing up so quickly, i think eventually i will get around to a recap of the greatest moments of my life this year. i have never actually listed these sorts of things out before, i'm thinking many of you reading may not want to pack and take a two year trip through my archives. so it might be a funny journey. i don't feel older, hesitantly younger with more energy and insight screw the physical signs of maturation, wrinkles are for elephants.

i am so lucky, in the last couple of days i've gotten some really unexpected emails from my grandparents and my aunt and an old friend. so special, so very interesting here at the end of my year. are you listening? i so love martha stewart's woodland specs this year. couldn't ignore or resist the temptation at the old kmart at the foot of the mountain.

um...i must say. infradig's clinical indifference rocks! so very clean. so nice to hear this band push the envelope and surrender some of it's "jam band" qualities. i appreciate the precision and knock on wood quaility, magic or superstition, i'm not so sure which but it's barely important. the album is split both in it's willing able body participants but also in it's music-al divisions i'm still hearing some of the old echoed sounds but with new rhythms-beats as in slick flashy breaks. and what about those keys. i'm glad to hear a stable melody in lower tones, maybe that was the electric guitar from before that made it sound a little twangy. i don't mind that they've been influenced i feel like we who love(d) radiohead, aphex twin, squarepusher and others were all influenced as if on a musical high. the sounds are fairly original and gosh so far better than what you'd hear if you were listening to 98.1 or 91.5 the WAWL! thanks guys for working so hard on this album, i for one appreciate seeing that production is still apart of your thoughts and goals, also very nice to see my brother's name in there. hi-five!!! chris a. did a phenom job on the art direction, geez! people should be knocking your doors down!

i'm outta here.

book of mercy:star of david

almost thirteen years ago i designed a tattoo for someone and in return she paid for me to get a tattoo of my own. even though it took some time to draw the design, when the day came for her to get the tattoo i wasn't prepared with an idea or design for myself. at the time, leonard cohen was one of my very favorite musicians and authors and i may have been in the middle of reading book of mercy.

i remember carrying around this tiny little blue book from the local library and happened to have it in my bag that day. it was an easy design and simple enough for most people to see and comprehend. although i have gotten the common question of "what is it?" most everyone is surprised when they find out i have blue permanent ink on my body, or i forget and someone sees me in a bathing suit and are curious. i don't think i got the tattoo out of rebellion or anger even though i was very much both at eighteen.

i know my mom wasn't exactly pleased and felt i was crossing an 'off the shoulder' wedding gown off my list when the time might present itself. but i've been in four weddings and it never once was a concern of the bride's aesthetic plans. as far as i can tell it isn't in a place that that will get really, terribly wrinkled as i get older, i only have to lay on the sunscreen to protect from the dreaded melanoma. agh! didn't think of that when i was eighteen. i suppose in the long run it doesn't even really set me apart that much. it's just a little something that goes along with me. it does remind me of my youth, it reminds me of love and the links we have with others, it reminds me of faith and the star of david is just an added-secondary symbol of the jewish faith. i'm reminded that in the confusion and hysteria of youth there is passion and profundity too and that time heals the scabs of weird or off putting events in everyone's lives. i really don't know what happened to the women with my design on her back. with that tree and eye design, my original work is out there. for her. for others to see if she is so inclined.

the tattoo may be important because it marks a time that's past, it is a connection i have to my old self, to my old dreams and flimsy faith that thrusts me into the future. it has nothing to do with the impending holidays, just another reflection of where i've been and where i am going. going. going. gone.

to the world

all is getting down to the niddy griddy now. i have a little less than half my shopping left to go with seven busy days to go. this week it is all about the crunch, with brightness between. this weekend was a working one in which i let the apartment go. i have taken a different approach this year and wrapped as i went. so even though i've got the last minute shopping to go, things are only looking half way like holiday. i have shrugged off decorating so far. the harvest tablecloth and garland are still very much apart of my daily-view. i'm wondering about my little bird tree this year and about pompom garland. or the paper bird garland...as yet another option.

it's funny how much i want the decorations hanging above at target. that alone would be the perfect christmas gift. the window seals are removable and reusable {i checked}. i'd like to hang the large paper cuts/sheets inside my windows, i'm wondering, if i timed it just right if i could get some of the decor?

i am thoroughly addicted to the color accent feature on my canon powershot sd450. ahh the blues at christmas time can be so rich and festive. and red. i love martha's woodland wrap, to be a red bird at christmas.

this past friday night i went to my brother ethan's first annual collier construction christmas party. seeing my brother in that context was incredible. the meal was nice, the wait was really great and being with mary was so very nice. she and i are growing closer and i appreciate her so much. i haven't got sisters but because of mary and laurie, suzanne and emily i have been given four sisters. and then there's kate and jen and erin p. holy cow!

the secret of small

speaking of small, how about this golden walnut sewing kit in all of it's palm sized lovliness. i found this tiny walnut wading through a tin of buttons. after doing some brief research i found that they may be quite common. i saw an auction on ebay for a green one that was going for over a hundred dollars. how outrageous!!! i am looking forward to the weekend. gearing up for the secrets, the anticipation, the seeking out the small informal but meaningful gifts for the rest on my list.