week in color:green

i know that green is my all time second favorite color in the whole world behind blue or turq or teal. and then in order it would go blue. green.orange.grey.red.yellow.black.brown. that's more than the week of color has to offer, which is fine, just an all together a side.
speaking of green, with hesitant honesty i must say i haven't as of late, taken on any envirogreen task, duty, obligation or responsibility. it is with regret i say i don't recycle the plastic water bottles collected in my fridge, though i will will will begin refiling them at my local green grocery store instead of buying more plastic.

and i have been attempting to bag less when checking out customers at the rx. i mean, if you've got one box of tylenol, why put it in a bag? i am now proactivally asking every customer if they'd "really" like a bag or not. i think that's genius. and well um, i attempted to plant some flower seeds in my mom's back patch but with the lack of rain, they've never sprouted. i am not really so sure how much i am saving energy wise. i know one thing, i'm not exactly pro ethenol either. sure it's better for the environment, at least that's what "they" are saying but my understanding is that our farm lands are already on the brink of destruction or at the point of no return or recovery, so what's the point of growing more hormone injected, hybrid, disease resistant, draught resistant corn? doesn't it take it's toll on the soil?

i can talk about what my brother ethan is doing in his green building efforts. i can talk about wanting a green home or a green car but i don't see my thoughts as true efforts and therefore wouldn't call myself indeed a green. i am a little green when it comes to recycling paper for collage and recycling canvas for painting, but that's about that.

i guess i could start making my own gum with a $10 purchase @ gleegum.

or maybe an expensive purchase like this would help.

i especially like this post about this artist making really triple R things {recycle.reduce.reuse}!!!

maybe one day, after biking 12 miles a day, for a couple more months or years i'll sell my car and buy one of these.

tonight i'm hoping to get some tennis rackets, wimbledon was inspiring this year.

weak in color:blue

keeping up with andrea's week in color here. thank you acj!!! although i have my own "twisted" version, only because i am "weak" over color anyway and i'm all about another venture in week in color. last night matt and i went biking and to my bewillied amazement we came upon a very very large blackish sort of snake on the concrete path. this time i passed so quickly by that it didn't even occur to me that it was a snake at all. it was! and it was a huge one at that, probably about 3 or 4 feet long. i don't know that i am terrified of snakes exactly, i just get this little gagging sensation in the back of my mouth and start imagining it eating a baby rabbit or bullfrog or something small. oh and then i had thoughts of accidentally running over it and it popping up and biting my ankle. anyway, matt took a branch and scurried it off into the grassy wooded area. so glad we don't see snakes every bike ride or else i'd end up heaving.

i think i participated in a couple of weeks of color, last year in june, if you're interested go and check it all out again. have fun and you should join in! and if you're up to it you might and try and guess where, what and to whom my blue today is about.

weak in color:yellow

i on u:carbon:asian

yesterday felt like saturday, today feels like monday. with two mondays in a week, this morning felt like a little bit of a nightmare. ever so thankful to have yesterday, the fourth off from just about everything, other than biking and family. i made an asian slaw, i suppose my poppop would roll in his little grave, afterall, he was the king of slaw. but heck someone's gotta revamp, refresh, rock the slaw boat a bit. and boy o boy was it a hit or what? so i am going to do something that i never do, or have hardly ever done and that is give a fantastic alternative rock the asian slaw {easiest ever} recipe!!!

***ASIAN SLAW:

2 packages of 3 ounce raman noodles (beef flavored is suggested but i'm a non meat eater person and found the oriental flavored to be just as "kosher.")
2 packages of (pre)shredded slaw (multicolored) mix
1 bunch of green onions chopped
1 cup of toasted almond slivers
400 degrees until they crisp & brown
1 cup of salted sunflower seeds
1/2 cup sugar (or splenda)
1/3 cup white vinegar
3/4 cup vegatable oil

EASY DIRECTIONS: in a fairly large bowl; before opening both packages of raman, crush noodles into small pieces, remove seasoning packets. dump dry noodles into the bottom of large bowl. dump both packages of shredded slaw mix on top of the noodles. chop entire bunch of green onion and dump on top of slaw mix. meanwhile toast almonds in oven at 400 degrees until golden brown or crispy. dump almonds on to the green onions and then the sunflower seeds on to the almonds (keep it layered, do not mix ingredients together)

mix the sugar, white vinegar, vegatable oil and two seasoning packets together in small bowl. wisk well until blended. pour directly all over the salad, right over everything. do not mix. cover with saran wrap and refridgerate for 24 hours or at least over night. stir up once ready to serve and eat.

***
so how does that sound? yummy or what?
have a nice day. hopefully i'll have new stuff to share by tomorrow or monday. take care and have a good weekend. btw. thank you for the "quit now" encouragement. i really think i'll have to set a date and stick to it. i'd rather not have to take drugs inorder to quit another drug addiction but i feel super weak at trying to quit smoking. i feel like the odds are against me. plus i like to smoke at home "alone" while watching nightline or david letterman. if i attempt a nine mile run on saturday and feel the lungs are about to explode i might be more willing or desperate to quit. right now i'm just walking the fence on this very serious issue.

okay bye now.

seasonally sore:{sunburnt}

every morning without fail a strong cup of coffee with a foamy splash of soy, quietly wakes me up and makes the rest of my day, seriously possible. i often wonder if in order to quit my tobacco addiction, i might also have to give up on my morning cup of joe and soy. as it is now, i'm on the brink of setting a quit now date but i'm scared to death of failing, this seemingly unsurmountable obstacle.

turning over a new leaf: another unsurmountable obstacle i have learned to face and overcome more recently has been the purchase of shorts. two pair of shorts, as in a sporty pair of pale blue grey and irishy green, to bike or run in. i was growing sick of my personal embarrassment, the dreaded milky white skin tone of my legs. ever so pissed off by wearing jeans though i decided to magically disappear the white with a miraculous application of a self tanning product. i can't remember the last time i wore a pair of shorts in public, it's mean skirt style for several years now has finally taken it's toll. i am thrilled beyond belief at this new part of me i can feel comfortable exposing to the world. ahh! r.e.l.i.e.f.

on saturday i spent a portion of my day poolside and sun soaking. my office manager opened her home and pool to us office girls, a pre-beach pool party. it was so-so nice to be outside in the sun, but i certainately fooled myself into thinking that i wasn't getting burnt, self tanning has it's flaws, i fell into denial. heck last year i was going to the tanning bed and i never once felt or got burnt. i do believe, though not scientifically, that a base burn is necessary. after all the sandy gulf sunburn so far away from home isn't all that pleasant. and it's four days of beach in three weeks that i am preparing my milky white for.
gosh but saturday evening as i zombied into the pharmacy i thought i was going to passout. fortunately i made and happily felt warmed and frozen in my sunburnt state.

sunday was a workday again and afterward a family time at the parentals, as it poured buckets of rain upon our part of the little earth. sunday night i actually took a bike ride, more casual, to check out parts of the passage at night. it was a rather less productive weekend but one of growing peace. i have a pile of things to accomplish. procrastination has me by the ankles, or should i say by the throat. i've got a list and slowly but surely i'll be marking things off, and updating. packages, swaps, artwork, clothesline, laundry, bathroom cleaning, and vaccuming, asian slaw for the fourth, and so much more. hope you all are keeping up and blessings are indeed flowing throw this summer season. peaceandlove.

mighty jungle:oh boy(s)

all i could think about this morning was of my three little nephews {caleb not pictured as of yet, in order to protect him and my family in the adoption process}. they are the very best, most incredible little boys, i could possibly imagine. best of all, and from what i hear, when they're put in their boppies on the couch, they're mesmerized by of all things:one growth!

it must be the contrast, would you say?

i was also thinking about having a friday night like tonight off. mulling over the what to do's or what not to do's. it is simple, after work, i'll try and take a twenty six minute nap.

walk? bike? eat-blueberries? i'd like to buy some shorts. this is the first summer i can remember that i actually feel like i might be able to wear shorts. i have been wearing skirts in the summer, you know. and this summer i wish i could find some shorts for short people like myself, some khaki or brown or grey shorts, oh grey would be nice and not too long, not to short shorts. i don't need to show anything off, at least not yet, possibly never. but something i could run in or something i could casually walk in, nothing tappered, i don't think A-line would work either. oh i'm in a quandry, what to do?

i wonder what sam and liam and caleb will want to be when they grow up. or for instance what will josiah k. be? he has grown to have such a vivid imagination, i can't imagine what he'll be like when he's twenty or even thirty. yippers! anyway, i'm a little off, i mean it is friday and i'm distracted. what can i say.

moo&wip

this morning i took a few quick photos, though really not that good, of the new mini moo assortment that i received in the mail yesterday. they're great and i can't seem to stop thinking about them. it is rather ridiculous i suppose, to get so excited about them. they're just like little treasures, yet so functional and really helpful when it comes right down to it.

i think too, that i have finally found the guts to show my newest work in progress. i still have a fair amount of time to put into getting it completed but once i began painting, everything seemed to start falling into place. yeah yeah yeah. it is a terrible photo but it is just a hint of things. you're not supposed to look that cloesly and plus knowing myself as i do it may all change drastically by the end. haven't you seen it all before? the painting underneath was a seascape with shoreline, seagulls and seaweed grass all there. it isn't exactly what i had in mind when i thought about recycling a thrifted painting but i will be leaving the birds alone and the sky color and texture should remain about the same.
i thought about how much i loved drawing my tinier space bubble type trees and eyeball flowers that it would be worth trying them out on a large scale. so far i think it's is working. we shall see though.

just thought i'd catch up with you. take care and have a great day. outta here.

simmer.sizzle.succulent

yesterday morning our computers took a nose dive, so at eleven am, i fled the scene. today i have got more than my share of catching up to do, but i like it this way instead of being crazy insane bored out of my mind. i always hit up my email first thing in the morning and one of the happiest things i received was a cute little email from my sister in law:laurie. maybe i'm a little twisted but i thought this was a great compliment for me and for the fantastic online shops:
"hey, I am having to force myself to not look at your blog for a little while. Part of the reason ( a main reason) I look at your blog is for the great links to websites carrying "merchandise" I love. You have the greatest links. Well, on your last blog entry you put links to sites having 50% off sales and there I went. Yet again I BOUGHT stuff from 16 sparrows (just 2 packs of notecards this time). But- really I love your links- I always love what they have to offer. I was about to buy 2 totebags from another one of your links- I still might (forget the name). That 50% off stuff gets me. I am having to not look. Aaron says it is fine, but I know that I need to invest in diapers instead. I can not wait to get the stationary though. Hee Hee. But- seriously- thanks for all the links through your blog- I usually love them all, I like to browse if nothing else. I have to save up for the clothesline show now- I am seriously so excited about that."
i know of a whole lot of blogs that feature online shops and artists everyday, but i also know how long it can take to go through all of those blogs inorder to find the shops that are selling their sales @ 50% off. i love blogs like: poppy or decor8 or my mosdef fav is print&pattern. these girls work hard, searching, researching and posting new artists, new art, new shops, new design. it's incredible what they do-everyday.

on another note(s): i have been wanting to get some of my old school "scrap"book collages up and about. my black book, as i used to call it was my forum, my place and my beginning. i'd say around 1997 i started collecting paper, found items and pieces of life and compiling them into this collage-writing format. it became my foundation, much like a sketchbook would if you were in school. i experimented with color, shape, style and form. it was a refuge and comfort to me. each collage my personal assignment. it is amazing to me now, that these images conjured up, and manifested themselves into what i see in my art now. ten years have gone by and just now i am reminded of the trees, fish, and doodles i used to draw. i am wondering now, how come it took me so long to come into my creative own. the concept has always been there, i suppose it has been about being refined in all of it.

i remember inspiration from ralph steadman especially. these dark contour like drawings made into every aspect of my thoughts. i also remember playing with squares and circles. these simple shapes continue to play such a role in what i make even now. so bizzare. i felt so rebellious then and but didn't feel challenged until someone close to me told me that i needed to stop working in my black book and i needed to start making art in the real sense of the word, share it with other people and stop playing around. boy, i'd say those words have stuck with me. my friend wasn't trying to be mean, they just wanted me to grow more. so have i grown? i think so.

check out more of my black book pages here.

my father:on making sense

it's not that i forgot about father's day, frankly i'm still thinking about my father and it's wednesday already. we gathered as a family, all of us, on saturday evening to eat and fellowship with one another. some may object, but my brothers thought that dad would like a new grill. afterall they said "his family is growing." i know most families get together often enough and have a good time with one another, but i think when my family gathers it is sort of extraordinary. it feels different because it's my family, the day was about my dad of course and aside from having good and healthy things to eat, we thanked our father for being there for all of us.

in the moments after father's day cards were exchanged there were a few tears. the day represented a mountain of fighting, praying, and hoping on my brothers behalf on account of the fact that they have had to fight to get their children and my father has had to fight to get suzanne and emily. our family has grown and will continue on, because of the fathers in my family. i am not assuming too much by thinking, expressing how i don't think many fathers fight for their children's lives anymore. i know for my dad and my brothers the battle hasn't always been ideal, the sacrifice has no words. but they've done it with no complaint, no regrets. we will never regret one another, nor will we regret the birth of sam, liam and caleb. we will never regret adopting emily and suzanne into our family, because my dad has been the fighting example to all of us. emily wrote these things out in her handmade cards to dad and my brothers. coming from her, my word, it was like soaking up the wounds, throwing burdens off and being free from destruction. i suppose if you were looking in from the outside our family might not make a whole lot of sense, but through my dad's eyes, there's refuge, comfort, peace and hope.
thank you dad:if you're reading you should make a comment as to how the day made you feel, i mean, your arms are so big, not so literally but they've held us all, and for so long. did you feel the roots of our familytree growing deeper by the minute in those moments? did you feel like your family was a team, working together at the sport of our lives? it meant a whole lot to us to beable to celebrate your life with you. i know that.

and the fireworks are from riverbend that finished up this past weekend. i have to be honest i avoided the whole thing like it was the plague. although they did some really cool things this year, like build a habitat house and on sunday morning i saw all of the riverbend runners and walkers, kinda interesting. i didn't know they hosted a run/walk-what about a bike ride?
i think that's everything for today. i am super excited about finishing up the week here, i'm looking forward to having the weekend off. woohoo!!!

moo.order.up.

i just finished placing my second ever moocard order and boy was it easy. this time around i decided to stick to a few designs instead of a hundred different little moos. they're promised to me in ten days, i just cannot wait. after the clothesline show in may, my supply became severly depleted and i knew i wanted moos of my more recent works of art.
i painted last night, i'd say that's an overstatement too. i wouldn't dare show and tell at this point because i am not so sure. not so sure if i am moving in the right direction. it is really much more difficult than i thought, recycling a previously painted oceanscape painting. i am very interested in leaving the bulk of the original painting exposed, like the seagulls, the grass, and deep blue sky. the painting is signed too, phillip sandee. i wondered if it was a fake name, i have heard that many paintings like this one, were done collabratively by many. it's funny, his last name would be "sandee", kindof a pun.
in other words:
lotta jansdotter is having a nice, almost half off sale. i especially like the messenger totes. ooo&aaa.

do you all remember? yukiko sato? sale is going on now! check it!

16 sparrows is have a 50% of sale on a small assortment of beautiful things. i especially think the "surprise yourself" grab bag looks fun for only ten bucks.

i will keep working and let you know when i have gotten to a point where i'm not completely afraid to show more progress.

ae.eh.ia.oh.uo.

the clothesline is off and running. of course we will update the public with dates and times. our meeting went really well last night and we're gearing up for an even better show, even better representation and presentation. mostly we'll have things internally smoother which was our main concern coming out of the previous show. if you're a participating artist please make sure you've checked your email, at the bottom of each email is a specific task list that you've most likely volunteered to help accomplish. i feel incredibly fortunate to be amoungst this great group of women, who are artists but also mothers, wives, and professionals. jennifer kring came having done a considerable amount of research {thank you!} and we have settled on the weekend of september 8th. mark it on your calendars!!! laura, diane, katie, mary, maria, linda, and kelly, as well as christina and lauren will all be back with new art, just in time for the holidays. we are corresponding the clothesline show with the gallery hop on the 8th. we're hoping to get on the map!!!

the clothesline is really the news of the day. i spent the rest of last night compiling thoughts and ideas and then this morning it's been about emailing and posting chemo charges simultaneously. how wonderful i feel.

WIP:berry creative

the day before yesterday was monday as you all well know. i left work early to gather refreshment for the last night of my stampin up club. by request i went to rembrandt's for macaroons and "s" cookies dipped in dark chocolate. then to grocery for fruit. i decided after cutting up the fruit that i didn't feel like sharing the good stuff. i don't regret it.
i suppose the july cover of martha stewart's living might have had something to do with my need for berry. i am not even a fan of the classic red.white.&blue but the berry terrific shortbread looks amazing. plus i feel jipped about not having gotten to eat may strawberries this season, it is indeed almost over.

honestly i am happy the stamp club is dissolving. it was really interesting to be apart of a monthly group of women who got together to make cards once a month. for two years it provided an outlet for me in one way or another, it also became an indispensible resource for envelopes, punches, brads and eyelets. i am happy because i will be moving on. last week i was catching up with michelle, and found she participates in a book club. how very timely for me! my mom has been telling me for ages that i ought to join a reading group, but i have had stampin up, puzzling over how to find such a club. i finished 'fidelity' by wendell berry. so i am picking up, rereading james david duncan's the brothers k and plan to join in group discussion in august. a little known fact:this will be the first time that i have ever read a book for the second time. can you believe. i can't.

tonight we have an organizational clothesline meeting. thursday is rx work. friday is family night along with a possible dip in the pool. when am i going to make art or continue working on this piece? i did not start this week off thinking it would fill up with all kinds of things. and will i beable to keep up with the biking? awgh!!! i can't imagine a life any less full.

exertion.bicycle.

i have been biking in the evenings after i get off work from the rx. the city lights and river pass in a blur. i tend to take in the plant life and animal life even in speed. i have seen a ton of bunnies bounding. heard frogs crocking, all the frogs in the world have not died from global warming yet. we saw baby raccoon's quickly cross the concrete path, then snuggle close between large granite rocks on the rivers edge. and last night i saw a beaver:penisula tail and all. i was afraid that he would attack me so i didn't get that close but i saw it well enough, considering he took his time trying to escape our stares. i am actually not the one who's spotting these great aspects of life. matt zooms ahead keen eyed, ready to come to a halting brake at the sight of anything fascinating. he saw this great big hopping spider that seemed so menacing it might spit. i didn't get close to it either.

i am rather sore today but overall feel really positive about riding bikes. i haven't lost weight but is tone important too? i wish that i could be active all day long, instead i sit and feel my nation spread out, melding with my office chair. have you ever noticed how there are so many large healthcare workers? hm...

have you heard about michael moore's new film SiCKO. the investigation? his commitment to "getting into shape"? his proposal? figure out where you stand. i have to say that i've not watched any of moore's more recent work, but SiCKO relates to my work, my interests have been peaked.

in other ways:

mule magazine blogs
the next big thing @ fredflare
promote yourself @ beautiful/decay:see public feed

other than that have a nice day. exert yourself a little more.

back to life

i have felt absent from a steady life lately and only now seem like i am getting the breath and grasp on things i need. a loss of perspective creates havoc, but fortunately i had my own personal "come to jesus" meeting on monday night and i feel more settled and refreshed.

maybe it was the amount of time i had been away from my home, working all weekend and every night. maybe it has been the lymphnode swollen in my neck, causing a higher level of stress and worry. maybe in the midst of celebrating the coming of caleb i realized how life, with it's variable ups and downs, is worth it. somehow. someway. to put aside all of the small hang ups and trust that i am still on track. that caleb will forever be a symbol of hope and faith to me and my family. we long to embrace him, just as simply, the god i believe in longs to embrace me, bringing me back to life.

and so i seek refuge with the most high. and find restitution in an invisible shield protecting me. and i will still spill my entire styrofoam cup of coffee all over my desk here at work. spoiling the june calendar. i will still ride bikes in the evenings after the rx and wear myself thin with exercise. i will still wake up early to spend a few precious moments with josiah and eden tomorrow morning. i will still see coral castles on saturday, gleefully thinking how funny, my parents are finally seeing my brother aaron play out in a smoke filled bar.


i will still make circles to modpode all over a recycled ocean landscape. still my orange tree will bounce back after a long hard winter. and i am still, after a couple of weeks ever so happy about having a photograph i took, featured in friday's weekend section of the chattanooga times free, even if it doesn't credit me. i will be uplifted and set free. and reminded to cling. back to life back to this cat life. back to vunerability and security in it all. back to dreaming and playing, back to more work and more writing. back to breathing and better shampoo. back to love and hope and walking in flipflops.

Paper Quilts @ Etsy

i know it's again with the quilts. i decided to fill my etsy shop up again in hopes that one or all of these paper quilts might sell. i'm selling the original works of art for only $100.00. mind you, the shipping is high because of usps costs going up, but if you're local i will hand deliver and if you're international it might be lower, it all just depends on package. a couple of you have expressed interest in trade. i am completely interested in trading art, but not these quilts, at this time. i am completely willing to create a specific {commissioned} quilt(s) for you if you are interested in trading. i can even have a print made of one of these quilts that i could trade or that could be purchased at a whole lot less. if you've got a specific color pallette you'd like a paper quilt collage done in, i can do that. it really is up to you and how much you're willing to spend or trade. i really do appreciate the interest and am willing to set up a payment plan as well. if you'd like cards made of any of these quilts i am able to do that. an individual card is $5.00 but if you buy a mass quantity i can sell them at a lower cost.

i would like to remain as flexible as possible throughout the next few months and actually throughout the rest of the year. i am working on a bigger piece, right now that incorporates many of the same drawn elements of the quilt collage(s), but on larger scale. flowers and trees and birds like these. i will also be working on larger versions of my twilight trees.

on another note: i wanted to update you all on the family meeting. my brother ethan and sis n law mary have received a referral for the adoption of a little boy. i cannot give many details, i cannot even post his birth name (we are naming him caleb) or date of birth, or the town he was born in. all that i can say is that this is an amazing time for ethan and mary. they continue to feel support and hope. caleb is a healthy little boy, he is happy and strong and now we are just waiting on him. it has been a time of great celebration. please continue to pray though. i will continue to update as i can and as we are legally able to share.

in the middle of the night

i took an unintentional break from phantomcrimes. primarily and dependently because i feel a fresh photo is necessary each and everytime an effort is made to share here. my friend is happily borrowing my canon powershot and i have got an unfinished undeveloped roll of film in my manual that's got to get to wolfe's at some point soon. thus the b.r.e.a.k. i can't think of what i am trying to think about because i stayed up too late inorder to see my brother play with the rest of coral castles. for those of you not present last night at jj's well um, i am terribly sorry. i have not gotten all the sleep i need in the last couple of days, for all sorts of reasons. i am looking forward to catching a few winks after five.

at nine thirty this evening i am heading over to my aunt's house for a very special family meeting. i'll have updated information as it becomes available. on another note...i never took an actual photo of my completed May Paper Quilt Project submission, dawn has got it posted if you're interested. i stuck to the familiar tree theme, mainly because my family seems to be growing around me and it feels so good. i have been relating the tree to my family for so long now, make sense?

i have begun to make art again. i have taken awhile to get it all going again. i have had a couple emails from you all expressing interest in my paper quilts. trade? sell? what have you. i wanted to think about it for a while and i have finally come up with some answers so i will be getting back to you each by early next week. once i have emailed everyone back i will post my thoughts here. i have not put anything new up in my etsy shop mainly because i wasn't sure how to handle the new shipping cost increases. boy has anyone else noticed the insane flat rate international shipping cost? i also didn't know if i would have any luck at selling the paper quilts on etsy. i seriously don't think so, soooo!!!

in closing...

fullness:a morning of c.o.l.o.r

this a.m. i woke up with an energy i have not felt in quite some time. i could have jumped right out of bed when national public alarmed me at six forty. instead i kept as still as possible, a dream uninterrupted until seven thirty. the light in my apartment wept, saturating just about everything. i watered my orchid and one bamboo shoot, decided to copy others and take note of the inside of my dishwasher. my melmine dishes made me think:installation. the painting given to me by one bff, katie k. hangs now, above my kitchen sink. one of only two pieces of actual art hanging on my walls. a self portrait reminding me of the past:white house apt. again i found my package from tammy. i'm slow to remove even the most lovliest things from the box, i want the pleasure, the feeling of unwrapping it everyday.
it could all be because i walked from my place all the way down to the fish {aquarium} place and back last night, at least a couple of miles, 14th street down to 3rd or second and back. or maybe i felt full. full of thankfulness again. full of excellant hummus and rewinded conversations with snl mary c. at bigriver last early evening. women's night. live funky music. and flies swarming around my pile of chickpeas.

maybe in the night a senitment came upon my like a memory fills a hole in your spirit after great joy, great sorrow, great struggle, or rather great strength. nothing can overcome me now even in the midst of indecision and compulsion to quit work for the day. possible bike ride with matt or a thousand mile walk. i look forward to the momentum of making art again. i'm certainately encouraged and committed and confronted with a variety of paper matters, medium matters, and personal whimsy ways.

i will bring up my nana again because even though she's past i am so so happy i had my her here, near me in her last months. and now my mother who is venturing soon from a traditional career, to pursue grant writing, vintage apron making and caleb watching, excites me and makes me wonder and thankful more and again. she and i are going to write:illustrate:publish our owb children's books. i know it.

these and a mirad of things are all full of love and color bringing hope. on this thursday at the end of may. may you be filled up. tell me how you have found the fullness.

making a way

i haven't had nearly enough time to get by here. in the last week i have felt like i was barely making a way for myself let alone phantomcrimes. yet throughout the thick and the thin of a sixty hour work week i made it and enjoyed mostly every minute of it. tammy gilley sent me an incredible five senses swap package, i almost couldn't believe my eyes, mostly overwhelmed in her brillant color choices. i feel terrible, i haven't a minute to send my five senses swap to my partner. although i've gathered just about everything, it's a shame, i should have figured my timing out a little better. i am so so sorry anastasia.

i did however finally get around to finishing my paper quilt project piece and sent it off. i feel fairly uncertain about the outcome and am not quite ready to show it off. i think it came together well enough and it amounts to meaning something to me and i felt so honored to contribute, but as far as the best thing i've ever done in my life. probably not. it comes down to my familytree and how it has grown and grown over the past few years. how i have grown to love my family; past, present and future family. how these family people have become some of the most important people in my life. a tree that represents life, growth, shade, protection and stability. and on a side note the paper quilt project and wendell berry's hannah coulter have both made me think of my nana. i remember crying my eyes out at her graveside service, because it was one of the most beautiful new jersey days you could possibly imagine. and plus i was there at her side as she slipped gently into the night. i felt heaven in those minute quiet seconds. sometimes i seem to invent things that remind me of her or others past. so strange. so wonderful to know.

and then how the clothesline show came to be. oh personally i had an amazing time. the spirit of the moment, the weather, the women artists, the amount and variety of art, the food, the fellowship, the turnout was all so overwhelming. it was not as you might think a party or artshow to be, more mild and calm, laid bare to avoid intimadation, the gallery pretense was nowhere to be found, intentionally. it was an immense success and the internal flaws can be looked at as a potential growth and strength. there is room for improvement, yes. but that is not to say it wasn't a fantastic way to celebrate art made by women artists. i can't not wait to get started on the planning for a fall show. look for updates both in my flickr and the official clothesline blog/site. if you were there and would like to leave an sort of feedback please do on that site. or email us and your thoughts at: ourclothesline@gmail[dot]com. thank you all so much for coming out and supporting us, me, them, everyone.

and for those of you following sam and liam's story...well they are doing really really well. they spent most of the day out and about town with their two little parentals. i had a chance to see them on sunday, very short and they're feeding well, growing and making us smile. thank you all for your continued thoughts and support. our family and the aaron and laurie collier family sure to appreciate everything.

that's it folks. gotta hit the trail, so to speak.

cannot help it

*making me happy*

it is amazing to me that sam and liam are actually here. i decided that i could not stay away from the hospital this past weekend. the temptation was so great. and here in the yellow cap is sam. and in the white cap, little liam. funny how babies change the instant they are born. according to laurie, sam was fairly active in the womb and now after having entered the world, has become chill and quiet. liam on the other hand was stressed a bit in the womb, crushed underneath sam and now as you see in alvin huffine's arms is more alert and active. yesterday i went to see them before they went home and they were in their little tanning beds. oh my oh my. laurie and aaron are doing really well. they were really eager to get home, to show their boys their rooms and the giraffe, to sleep in their own beds. laurie can actually breath now, previously so much pressure. aaron will be off a little and then will have to go back to school to finish up the year and he'll be out for the summer. we are going to have an awesome summer. i cannot wait. cannot.
i have plenty to accomplish and have nothing to show. i have been working my paper quilt project piece and should be finished by the end of the week. right now i don't feel like showing it to anyone. and i've gotta the rest of my five senses swap together. and clothesline at the end of the week.

sam&liam

for the family: sam and liam arrived yesterday may 10, 2007 at 11.43 and 11.44 am. they are both extremely healthy, happy, quiet little boys. momma laurie and my brother aaron are both doing really well. the boys weighed in at 6 pounds, 1 ounce each and 19 inches long. they are very close to being identical except that liam has lighter hair and a lighter complexion. sam has darker hair and a slightly darker complexion. we are so happy. so blessed. so excited. laurie is holding liam. aaron is holding sam. they are perfect you guys, absolutely amazing. they didn't have to go to the nicu or picu, whatever you wanna call it. everything happened so quickly. and as i learn more about the story of yesterday i'll fill in the gaps. thank you for prayers. for your love and support.

babes on the way

we just got news!!! the babes are on the way!!! i'll be heading home to get my digicam, awaiting updates from the soon to be grandmothers {my mom shall be called pippa}. some tears have already come into my eyes. it is all quite convenient, i'm at the hospital where she'll be having sam and liam, so once i go home to get my camera i can be back at work...pray that all goes well in the OR. these boys are so dearly loved. we cannot wait!!! awgh.

sam&liam

just a quick update on the babies, incase you haven't been following along: laurie {pictured on the righ} who is married to my youngest brother, not pictured. will be having two, count 'em, two precious little baby boys on friday!!! everyone is doing great and as soon as i know something i will post!!! keep the little family in your prayers!!!

the twilight trees:revealed!!!

the twilight trees is the last piece i'll will have made madly for the clothesline show, coming up, right around the corner, beware. it is a depature from the previous paper quilts that i made only because i'm pressing toward the future, larger, more detailed pieces. practicing on a smaller 9"x9" before a 3'x2' or something like that. the repetition is there in the pattern of squares as a collage under"painting" and then a dark dark blue to create the tree imagery. i am also very attracted to the positive+negative space element. i think it works fairly well and am excited about continuing in this new direction.

the painting below is one that a friend gave me and i'm planning to create a landscape, i've started in the bottom right hand corner, circles of green. the blue is brillant and a large portion of the painting will remain much like a sam flores painting with my own style. more flowers, trees, and birds.

i have also been wanting to share this quilt with you all. i didn't make it and i don't know who did but it is hanging at one of my friends house and when the light shines through it i'm aghast at the beauty and craftmanship. i finally got pictures and think it is the best. i especially love the green shapes which remind me of lovely little war tanks. you're welcome to view more photos over in my flickr account. as always i'd love to know what you think, don't hesitate. have a good day friends and family!

gallery of growth:the packrat life

i would crave a minimalistic windowsill wonderland but my head is overflowing and my heart loves the littlest treasures. i am a packrat. it occured to me this morning that i lead my internet life much is the same way that i do my real world life. i collect favorites like they're going out of style. in the course of an eight hour day i've probably perused a hundred blogs, shops, and forums. maybe not as carefully as peruse though. and yet there is always something i'll save, to pick up later. today is one of those days, you know them because you're lulled out, played out of nothing to show for the creative motions your making. i have finished my last piece, numbro ten for the clothesline show. my digicam is in the hands of another creative soul. and so i have nothing to show of progress.

instead i'm here to share: last week i became distressed, searching, grasping at straws, looking for more than one farm in the area. chattanooga no longer has a "real" down to earth, farmer's market, we've gotta make room for the eight hundred plus homeless. thankfully we've got the chattanooga market, but when you go to the website and click on agriculture to look for local farms there are NONE! which is fine, right? you've gotta be kidding me. there is moonshadow, an opportunity to learn how to grow at the sequatchie valley institute. *might we put some of the homeless to work on a local urban farm-coop-the earthisimportant program-mayor littlefield? have any of you been to rise n shine in chickamauga? here are your other options. that or spread a patch out behind your three gas burning car garage and grow something, anything to absorb some of that carbon dioxide.

***jen over at scissors paper glue has come up with a special sort of inspiration stash.

***i know atlanta recently got a trader joe's, though i haven't been since living in templeton CA, found via one of the best blogs out there: shelterrific, via dhome, enter the offical trader joe's caption contest!!! woohoo:)

***also found between the cracks, or maybe i've fallen between the cracks and i'm just now digging myself out: swissmiss features the best all around stuff this side of the sphere has see, even though...we didn't necessarily grow her here. check out the prettiest cards you may ever see. winter garden thank you sm.

***for those of you who'd die without color i found via the purl bee, PROJECT SPECTRUM; it maybe too late to get involved or participate this year but i'm sure it's worth a look, just incase, there maybe pockets of inspiration.

lucky for you, that's all i've got for today. i'm burnt.

the quilt of my

"crunch" begins and ends with dazed and crazed. i know i don't feel as overwhelmed as say, kate in all of her moving, working, making and mothering. i am not sure what is going to happen. i mean all but one collage has been completed, my cards are packed and ready, but i still haven't got a clue as to how or when i am going to have the paper quilts framed or wrapped or well, presentable. i went to hobby lobby and had a rather unpleasant experience, instead of finding frames worthy i found canvas worthy. it is times like these that make for memories, excitement and blessing, mostly learning. these tight corners, empty pockets, smaller margains are just apart of this cat's life. matter of factly, frankly speaking i am happier in the midst of a rush, the crush and crash of projects, obligations and artworks.

i am thinking now of how to prioritize: yesterday i found in my box the paper quilt project envelope and felt a choke approaching fast. don't get me wrong i am really happy about this community effort, the honor of being invited is super great and i can't wait to find that buried treasure of inspiration. i also have got to get my five senses together enough to swap them with anastasia. and i feel i must acknowledge the sweet tammy as well. i actually sat and had what i'd call a light moment:brainstorming the five senses and have come up with a few unique ideas. the first of which; thought:"opening the package with ones eyes shut!!!" unga.

then there are all these underlying things: how am i going to pay my bills? april was such a tight month and i am feeling the tightness a little less but i have very little breathing room. buying canvas is a total justified thing because fitness together is demanding more work today!!! i'd also like to be really open to commission work too but inorder to do it i've gotta have it-right?

there's also the cleanliness of my life right now. i am still smoking, no more no less than usual but it is the dirtiest, nastiest habit and i'm reminded of how disgusting it is on a daily basis. if it's not my phlegm, it is a lung cancer patient's phlegm i hear in the hallways at work here at uoha. my curtains in my apartment are black, my floors need to be mopped, my car is a pile of ash and the hair. i know i know i'm really about to gag!!! truly isn't it all a reflection of what is apart of my insides. the heart that yearns for beauty but is stuck in ugly. i hope my paper quilts aren't as ugly as the quilt of my life.

then there is joy, in two weeks and little sam and liam will be here. my nephews. my first nephews and what breath can be breathed without thinking of their little lives. there is clothesline and community and being bold enough, having guts enough to invite people from my church that i barely know to come and see this community of women artist. there is mother's day and bringing my siblings together to honor my mom again in this new year. there is this new book in my life; hannah coulter by wendell berry and how it brings tears of joy and sorrow, relative to my life's quilt in so many ways and not really but so good. shall i stop?

{coral castles}***

i just decided to sort of experiment for a minute...this past weekend i had the chance:offered or asked to take photos of the band {coral castles} my brother aaron is in. frankly, i was excited about the opportunity and am even more interested to see how the photos are utilized by the band. i thought that sense the photos already seem to be mingling:on the circulation, i'd play for a day and give this great group of guys a shout out. for one, i had a really nice afternoon and thought of the many great photographers before me, those men and women out there shooting up a storm, capturing mind boggling images, and my attempts, the past, present and future. coral castles needed a shoot for posterity, the record will be important. check out more in my coral castles set.

hot cereal:laundry:enron

my exhaustion has no excuse other than the fact that at midnight last evening i was up folding laundry, organizing dresser drawers, contemplating hunger and hot oat bran cereal with soy, stamping cards, and becoming more and more of a skeptic, a "debbie downer", a hermitess of the mind, a cynic and worst of all an independent thinker. awgh. what's more i only have five, count them on one hand, five television channels. all it takes is pbs. i have no cspan, no cnn, no mtv, no hgtv, or bravo. i should say of course that it goes without saying, in every case there are two sides of every story. but my word!!! if it is midnight where you sit, grab a bowl of warm cereal. contemplate with me.

independent lens

enron: the smartest guys in the room: i wouldn't know how to go about convincing you that you should see this film. it is impossible for me to express myself when my adrenline has peaked and the passionate feelings rise to a high of confusion, anger and betrayal. or rather apathy. i know seeing and acknowledging new ideas, new forms of thinking are really important to me.

for instance i just finished reading barbara kingsolvers small wonder. like wendell berry's a gift of the good land and c.s. lewis' mere christianity i wanted to somehow escape and stay simultaneously in the middle of their words. to say i felt overwhelmed by the language, provoked by poignant fields of thought or humbled is an understatement. after completing these books and after watching enron i am beginning to think that questions aren't proactive and if you think doubting or worrying is enough you are most likely deceived. don't get me wrong though i'm usually pretty disgusted and terribly afraid of protests {verbal warfare:gang debating terror} and protesters in the midst of protesting. in my retrospective i see that i have been mindfully swayed by berry, lewis and kingsolvers thoughts on protest, war, television, and politics. my enron independent lens experience of knowledge has grown expedient. i'll leave it at that.

check out: black gold
see it now: still life with animated dogs

and look what my mom found: warm biscuit

by the way: i wasn't a button design winner, maybe next time. have a really nice day my friends.

busy beaver:button design competition

a while back i was doing some button making shopping and discovered a great little website called busy beaver. then one day i was surfing the www and found a link to a button design competition and it just so happened to be sponsered by the cool peeps at busy beaver. i tried to download the template but was unsuccessful, so i submitted my design in a square format thinking myself a royal dork. okay so a little earlier today i was checking my junkmail and found and email about the competition and wahlah!!! my button design appears on their site as an entry!!! neato, right? unfortunately i missed the voting and have to wait one whole day until judges picks are announced. there are some really cute ideas:designs and there will be twenty lucky winners and five honorable mentions. if i happen to win by chance, which would be really cool, i would win 200 FREE buttons with my design on them. this kind of thing would absolutely make my day!!! say a little prayer or whatever you do and i'll update tomorrow. check em: soandso WOOHOO!!!

move on:gearing up

i finished up the last of the drawings on the Black:White:Silver Paper Quilt Collage a few nights ago. it is a relief to have a rainbow of color to contribute to the upcoming clothesline show. i am getting really excited about sharing my new little paper quilts with everyone. i am not saying that they are the very best art that i have ever created but i do feel one hundred percent satisfied. what's left? well i'll be sending out invites this week to the show. i hope to have a stack of cards ready to sell. a little something for people to purchase inexpensively and still have a small printed piece of art to take home with them. i have got to stamp and seal the paper quilts and come up with a framing/wrapping plan. i have one little collage to go, and haven't started it yet because i really wanted to whip up a larger collage/painting, something fresh and new to hang at fitness together.

lying in bed last night i started thinking about what to send out in a five senses swap. unga bunga!!! i have a scarey halloween sounds cassette tape for "hear-ing"...i dunno know. i really wanted to try and not spend a dime this swapo'round. meanwhile i'll assume a detective style, scope a few clues from anastasia's pretty blog. this weekend i was happily surprised with a brillant little paper package from the dear emily. our earlier conversation where she happened to come across this stash of beautiful vintage wrapping paper totally slipped my mind. so when i came home on friday afternoon and found a surprise in my box i was delighted. really excited, so thoughtful emily. if you're reading: thank you thank you.
i ought to spring into action and create a little something out of all this fine material. i'll keep you all updated on the vintage wrapping paper tip as time speeds on.

and now i am remind of the paper quilt project. all is up and running and the may packets of paper are heading out our way by the end of the week. i'll stop everything to produce and send back a collage in two weeks. this is collobrative effort dream come true. check out the lastest!!!

i'm outta here, moveon.org!!!

working on our clothesline

just wanted to let you all know that katie and i have been working most of the day on a new site/blog for the women artist who are participating in the may 2007 clothesline show. i really wanted to use the new blogger format but can't take the time to learn the html language-xtml or xhml or whatever the heck it is. kind of more complicated. if you are a participating women artist and would like to contribute work or thoughts or what have you please contact me @ catcollier[at]hotmail[dot]com. i will also include your name and site/blog/myspace on the sidebar. i am thinking i ought to send out an email asking for info from each of you (the eleven). until then please go by, check out, let us know what you think. this will help not only us but the rest of the chattanooga community of women artists as well as the general public. hope all of you have an excellant weekend. takecare.

.rainbow.crush.

i promise this will be the second to the last time you will see any of these little paper quilts. only because i myself am trying to draw some sort of closure. when i've finished the black&white 2-sq. drawings i will take a few more photos and then wahlah!!! finally done!!!

yesterday i meant to post, but got caught up with uncle sam and a host of other things here at work.

katie has been working on a new and improved postcard for the clothesline show. i am growing more and more excited about this adventure. ***i am also really loving this little bird. forever reminding me of kate, josiah and eden***. i can't say exactly if or how my expectations will be fulfilled in re:to the next few weeks, just thinking up new projects. really wishing i had more time to create things with all of my mailorder friends. thinking up five senses, paper quilt project ideas and the list goes on, right?

my brother ethan called me yesterday and told me that the folks at FT were pleased as punch with the new art hanging on their walls. i am happy i could help out. and hope i can actually make more to hang. if you're out that way near target, you should stop in and check the place out. FT has a really nice, intimate sort of atmosphere, a unique workout experience from what it seems. over the weekend ethan mentioned his business website was going live. i'm super excited about this, because i am so proud of what ethan and all of his employees do. i have added a link to his new site on my sidebar, even though it is a little different than my other links it is super important that you have access to the green. considering we are in over our heads in re: to the environment. thanks to the guys at coptix for putting together a really tight site for him. way to go!!!

i also wanted to show and tell:

pete goldlust and his amazing carved crayons

one my favorite places on the www happy mundane. finding the cool!!!
wooden frog stools and "poetics of the handmade" thank you jon.

congrats to ellia and her fam:via nina

i cannot wait for sam and liam and caleb to get here.

if you're having a baby check out:
dwell
sparkability
kol kid
kazoo toys

that's it for now, i am totally worn out and the day isn't half over.

half a dozen

i am not sure i am ready to be back after such a really nice weekend off. at home burrowed in the warmth of my sheets i read, slept, made art inbetween, took lots of photos of the now, almost completed six piece paper quilt collage series. i finished the orange quilt, began the black quilt with just the two drawings left to complete. i am so pleased with how this group of collages have come together. i cannot wait to see them framed and hanging on the wall. speaking of...on saturday morning i hung eight pieces at fitness together. it took about an hour or so and i believe all looks really great. i only took a few photos so you'd get the idea. i am looking forward to the regular commitment of hanging there. i hope to make more work, larger work and more colorful work. i left a price list as well as moo cards to coordinate with the work i hung. so exciting. check it out.
maybe just maybe i'll sell something!!! but if i don't i'm real happy for place to safely store my art. my list of things to do is slowly growing smaller. not by much but at least i can say the quilts are 95% ready. i am sure your sick and tired of my progress notes but it helps me to determine the next in line projects. the priorities are: 1 more collage for the clothesline show for a total of 10.


MAY's Paper Quilt Project is #2 on the list. then the swap is #3. then it's on to painting painting painting. my paper phase will take a break and i'll be picking up the paintbrush-kickout two new paintings in the next month or so, i'm hoping upon hopes. so i have something fresh to hang at fitness together. i hope you've really enjoyed walking with me through these paper quilt collages. i feel really positive about their appeal and can't wait to get humankind feedback. they will be up for sale, under $100 bucks. if you see one you'd like and won't beable to make it to the show, please let me know in advance.

i'm gonna leave it at that for today. seems like a whole lot to take in.