no waste green

you might think i am crazy. just because i am digging like many of you through your old photos for monochromatic-coordinated color schemed day pics. this on isn't necessarily a nice shot, but you get the idea. cilantro is a favorite, herb added to just about anything if i could or cooked more often than i do. i mostly just use it in my salsa & guacamole! yum

sewing paint chips together on my europro sewing machine was a bit of a hassle but it worked out really well. if i must say so myself. i was fortunate to have these bright green chips from wally world to add to the sewn landscape. i just adore paint chips anyway, we're so blessed to have all the many shades of green to pick from. i just remembered that one of my best friend's last name used to be green, before she got married. she's going to be on my list today too. even if she's not exactly the color:)

here is a photo of my favorite green...i took this photo of her little league baseball card. it's a bit of a blur but the girl was serious, seriously cute. i actually talked with her last night (tuesday) on the phone and she told me that i could make an annoucement for her. last month i mentioned that my best friends were both debuting their new domains, jenn's is finally up and you must go see, right now!!!

i haven't posted a great amount of no waste wednesday linkage in sometime and i wanted to do that. i also should finsh the meme. i think it is time for spring cleaning and yard sales, replace the old with new. i haven't had much time to look around but i found this through someone else's blog and it just beautiful. i'd like my home to be adorned with cath kidston things anyday.

you've probably seen this site before too, but here's your second chance to link and save as a favorite. check out doe. when i start shopping online i end up looking at where the homebase is for these places, i think i'll end up moving to san francisco or portland. my dream would be to open a shop of my own someday. would that be fun or what? i really appreciated lisa's bit on pricing artwork there at whip up. but let's move on.

i don't remember where i got this link but heck it seems so neat. wishingfish.

this might just be my favorite see it here and beware of having your eyes come out of your head and your jaw drop to your knees.



well i have got to get back to work...i'll have to post the rest of color thursay and meme later on this evening or something...owell:(

blue tuesday & meme

"the blue light of live at five." can anyone guess the band with which this lyric has been sung? i must admit today might be the only day i participate in this week's great idea. only because i've been limited in my computer time here.

i must say i love love love the blue and the aqua. the new blue and new aqua. first, i was messing around with my camera and got a bunch of average light/blur shots. the one on the right is good enough for me though. second, i'm in love with my blue sleeping bag. even though it's a cheapo it's more about the color than anything else...and i must say or admit to taking photo after photo with manual feature, while the auto feature sucks a bright flash washout. i end up getting a whole lot of orange tinted pictures. the outcome, after putting the pic into paint and inverting the colors, are these great blue tinted pics. try it! as if you haven't. i don't know if i do it all on purpose, it's just more of a habit sort of instinct thingy. thirdly, lamp would be the best cowboy paraphenalia that i have ever have had in my possession. it was actually (help me out mom if i am wrong) my dad's lamp when he was a young lad. i have it in my kitchen in the corner by the microwave and it gives off a rare non halogen orange-y vintage glow. for some of you, that may be hard to imagine but it's more about the feeling. you know?

i must add that this morning i went to the post office and picked up the most exciting packages ever!!! and i'll be taking lots of photos to share. i must say that my swap partner pinned the tail on the donkey when she picked out and sweetly sent the precious things...she's a genius in color!!! even though it's not surprise for me any longer i'll keep you surprised until i get pics. also ellia sent a surprise my way. geez! i am overwhelmed and overjoyed. i have put packages together but haven't sent, so you all keep your eyes peeled! :)








top 5 must-haves:

in my fridge:
1. veggie products
2. individually wrapped bags of mini carrots
3. soy yogurt
4. rice milk
5. tofutti cream cheese (a definite must)

in my closet:
1. hoodie's-even in the summer
2. skirts-of ever shape and color, my favorite are the a-line type. but i have a thousand skirts now that are actually too big for me. i refuse to wear shorts in the summer so it's skirt's-a-gogo.
3. scarves-that is winter knitted type scarves. i have several and cannot wait until winter time to wear them.
4. if john kerry were a shoe, which would he be? the answer to my fourth must have is flipflops. i have a bunch and my favorite are the reef's i got last year in the gulf.
5. the martha stewart mesh laundry basket

in my purse:
1.

continued tomorrow...

in my car:



on my TiVo:

threaded and tight

quickie post here before i'm out for the day. i have been noticing that my face is changing and i totally like it. i do not seem to look as though i am getting older, thanks to my be u tee ful monamieta-genes and such. when my hair is longer i keep it up all of the time. so i'm due for a salon visit or a cut and color from matt? he's offered...what am i supposed to think of that? or actually i have been thinking of going back to mk. we shall see...

in other news my weekend was full of rx work. painting still-sunflowers. fruit smoothies with granola. reading about proper vitamin intake. wishing i could write some of my friends, thinking i should write some of my friends but feeling rather unmotivated. but getting to the bicycle painting finally. i have very nearly no new thoughts.

as an adult female i have finally learned how to pluck my own eyebrows. this nice cornered photo is a before shot. never have i been such a girlie girl, but all has begun to change. a great coworker of mine at uoha began doing my brows a couple of months ago. i finally got the courage up enough to ask her to arch them. after looking at the fuzzy wuzzy's all week and missing the op with her i decided to try my tweezy hand at them. yikes! a teary beginning with a uplifted-eyebrowlifted ending. horrah! did anyone catch sunday morning with charles osgood? do any of you use your ipod at work? is it appropriate if, for instance, you are already allowed to turn on the radio or broadband pc style? i suppose...i'll wait on an ipod. still needing that laptop. saving my change and cigarette moolah.

even though it's friday

i just got back from my daily routine. and really it has become a routine. even though it is friday i walked or ran up 20 flights of stairs, walked two laps around the top outdoor level of the parking garage, and finally a lap through the hospital. it has been eight weeks since i began this "improving" of my life thing. so far my experience has gone really super well. in addition, as i have mentioned, i have begun the process of becoming vegan. i have always wanted to try my hand at eating and living a vegan life, but never had the actual motivation or push. i'd like to be able to say i have done it all on my own, making this decision but really that would only be a half truth. i haven't eaten meat (except fish-like tuna/sushi) in some time (except when mom would cook a nice meal). beef, bacon, steak and chops have been out of the question for a real long time. chicken was tempting. my bfriend matt has bravely walked where no one has voluntarily walked before, by using every ounce of persuasion to convince me of the vegan life. no religion has called me, no one thing specifically, i only feel better, i know i feel better. so i have been surfing the www. fortunately found jennifer's site vegan lunchbox. thanks to her i found a beginning!!! vegan outreach!!!

okay and so lots of my coworkers and my sisters n laws are giving me a pretty hard time too! i mean about "going" vegan, but i have no doubts about this decision. vegan outreach gives me all the information i need to make informed nutritional eating decisions. it talks about the vitamins and foods to find the right vitamins in. starting in january 06 i started taking a multi vitamin. i'll let you know but i can't see my labs slip slip slippin'. it isn't going to happen.

this is the last weekend to go and see my work at mojo burrito. if you've not been down there it's a must see. not because it's my work but because it is good. and the majority of it has been sold, so it may be the last time you'll have the chance to see it all. whatever i haven't sold will be put up in my etsy account and on ebay, simultaneously. if you are interested in a work that has sold, i am able to do duplicates. especially like the piece "stilled shamrock."

i wanted to thank my mom and dad, aunt c. and uncle d, and aaron and laurie for purchasing my art. it has been a huge learning experience. really! also my gratitude to tim @ mojo. and lastly more gratitude to matt for hooking me up. it is because of your growth that i have this opportunity. i have been wrong to not have a better attitude about the whole thing. if there's a next time, i'll know how to act.

i love elephants. above lined up in my window.

blind border patrol

i don't know about you but the weekends are never quite long enough. if you are like me you spend a good bit of monday catching up on reading and responding to all that the blog world offers. this week i will be reigning in my emot-like writing. at least until next month that is.

my weekend though full of more emoting, was a whole lot better than my week. i was much more productive, have come back to work, well rested and with positive, growing faith thoughts.

saturday i finally, somewhat shamefully went to see my best friend's new baby girl. lavendar was born almost six weeks ago and what with all the sixty five hour work weeks i've missed the first days of her life. despite all, i got more of my fair share of the beautiful creation. fenn and i had a sweet time with one another. she is so very gentle, metamorphisizing into the new mother mode. it was wonderful to see the life fenn has brought into the world. my two very best friends have shared so much with me, i feel so blessed to be apart of their children's lives now too. i wonder, semi often about what my children's faces will look like. wide eyed and bird squeaked, i'm sure.

i so extremely thrilled to make two very important SHOUTS! i am sure fenn would like to announce her own website debut, but considering she hasn't got a blog, i'm beating her to the punch. there is much to look forward to-in seeing her body of work. and with that i am also so very proud and excited with katie in her website debut. she's already annouced the opening/beginning on her blog so i'm not ruining the delight for her. my goal is that as many people as possible get to see, see more art! i wanted to add that in my brief viewing, her work is superb an absolute crushing and stirring delight! congratulations kate, god has given you and awesome gift and today it will bring hope and inspiration to so many!

i too feel a thrill at my own artsy success. matt and i went by mjb on sunday, even though they were closed. peeking through the darkened restuarant i saw that two more pieces had sold tags on them! yeeeeaaa! so now that is a total number of FIVE pieces sold!!! WOW, you don't know how totally shocked i am. giddy almost. i mean i've had my ups and downs about the whole thing, which i haven't mentioned much. revolving around my struggle, always with putting a monetary value on my work. each time i have been asked about my work down there or have gone near the place i step into a funkyswamp of defensiveness and distress. what has been up with my stinking attitude? sadly my stink surfaced again yesterday at peering through. i noticed i sold elephant pieced-the print for fifty bucks. matt became frustrated immediately saying that i had sold it for much much less than it's worth! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PRICE MY WORK!!!

the struggle was that most people don't walk into a restuarant and buy work, so my thought was to make my art accessible and possible for the common people to purchase something i find wonderful and beautiful. anyway, at this point i just have to trust god that i am doing the right thing. i am pricing and selling my work based not on the profit of it all, but on this very foriegn thought that people in my town are fairly artistically challenged-just my crazy persception. we have a great hunter, we have several fine galleries, but alas the scene with which i fit and work within is very nearly void. i am not saying my art is any better than that which hang on some of these great established galleries but my goodness, where, i mean really where is the urban art, the rugged real stuff? fine fine art is nice, but gosh shouldn't we be passed it. aren't we passed it? so...my second point in pricing low or as i'd like to say "affordable", is that art must be accessible or else i do nothing for myself as an artist or my audience. i will never isolate myself in the community i live in, by thinking or portraying my work in a gallery that doubles my price to make a 50% profit. if i do it will be my own gallery and the profits, so help me god, will go towards better art education and a spectacular gallery-interactive. no snobbery allowed! blind audience art! et cetera.

now until i think of anything else to share on the subject with which you may laugh and think be utterly retarded. i will rest the issue.

i my spare spare time when procrastinating this swap or this must write letter to h or l or l or k, i have been working on this piece i have decide to call 'blind border patrol.' inspired by my last piece, 'der hund' and the severe roach investation matt had in his apartment last summer. though not completed, this piece is a drawing with paint markers. see my flickr acct for more...



the coloring is different in all the pics because i was messing with my still so very new to me SD450. the week before me looks like a full and complete week, with a whole lot more joy and whole lots less thinking about the past...thank you for your love and prayers. smoking this past weekend was treachorous only at the most five cigs a day though. sorry to end on such a negative note. i won't be giving up though.

when rest comes

i can feel a whole lot better knowing that saturday and sunday are free, open and clear days for me to be able to do whatever i please.

unfortunately i have had a less than desirable week. i have been ill or rather should i say out of sorts. it was all to be expected and there's no blame to shift but on being human. life can be difficult no matter what, no matter how much joy one tries to pile upon the pits. joy should be endless in my heart, hold me accountable! all it takes for me to remember to be selfless is a walk through children's to find the bald heads of mini people walking thru. or a call from an attorney, asking for an informal interview, to ask me questions about my house fire four years ago. yet and so my heart has been comforted this afternoon, in a walk, in prayer for my dear friend, in conversation with my mother and matt. i also have some really great friends that have been emailing me and commenting here or there. it's not enough to just wish for the joy, it's not enough to just pray for joy, i have got to muscle up and arm out the dogs. if it takes rearranging my schedule or thoughts, so be it. joy is necessary for the my life to continue.

i think it has all come down to the last ten years of my life. i have spent all of this time, up until now, totally angry, totally pissed off (which sounds like the same thing but it isn't), totally insecure and unhappy with my appearance, job, friends, and family. i have neglected my health all the way around the spectrum of me. my spirit has twisted itself into a dirty knot, my heart has been eaten by the scoundrel of negative feelings, feelings unbalanced and unprovoked, misplaced and cornered out of creativity and love. my mind has become a bredding ground for all kinds of justification, manipulation and murder. where aren't thou my god and how long must i wait? i am tortured under the weight of being me and will die if i am limited to my own view. god is my identity, when may i rest in him? this day, this hour, this minute. in this work, word, craft and cause. where did my mom come up with such wisdom as this: life is a long obedience in the same direction.

these last weeks have been slightly more defining. i feel the 'refiner's fire' even if it has self imposed matchlighting. the biggest struggle for me today and for the weekend will be to stay away from the god awful cigarettes, the disgusting habit and such. cigarettes have been my friend for about 10 years now and if i don't quit i will die from them. 1 into 2 smokers die. i also may be limited in the workforce, but hell i'm not thinking about that, just my two lungs, my heart and brain matter. if you believe in miracles, you'll have to pray for one, because that is what it is going to take.

secondly i have to continue to eat and drink well, inorder to support my new outlook on life and my exercise regimen-if that's what you wanna call it.

i must go to church on sunday. the word is my rock.

i will have much art and project to work on too. i have started three new paintings as possibly mentioned. two of sunflowers for a paying coworker customer and one of a bicycle. a yellow bicycle. i have several packages that must be sent out or else these beautiful people won't ever want to talk with me again. i have a gift for arlo, and something for fenn, and my swap partner cannot be disappointed and a return letter to snl-laurie. and all kinds of fun things.

so...i do not need prayer as much as some, but i know i may be facing some difficult things in two to three weeks. i do not know what they may or will be except "housefire" stuff. i need much grace and merciful thoughts. i need love, most of all love. i need patience and all the other fruits. i want people to know that i am different but i also want to be open. have a good one.

no waste wednesday

it is another wednesday, another day, another joy, another headache. no day to waste, but do and be all that you can. take every breath. breathe. i am trying to remember the joy but man o man, somedays rough times just keep coming. i will feel better once the day has past, even though i've got to head out to the rx.

today i am just going to link you all up with some of my daily and weekly blogroles. i know it takes time to go through all the links but there are some truly amazing blogs and bloggers out there. i never feel too badly about not getting to read and visit with all of these people, it is impossible. plus i know that hardly anyone except for my family, friends (kate) come to phantomcrimes. it is a full time job, reading and responding. but i'm telling you...

cori

6.5 st

redcurrent

project vicki

jessica williams

nubblywubbly

misprinted type

ready+set=paint

you'd think that i'd have something to show after two weeks of having my paints, pallette, and various inspiration readily here. but nothing, nada, zip, zero. the only things i worked on, which unfortunately i have no new photos...was my birthday calendar, completed/finished. hanging oh so delicately with my badge plaque on the fridge. will take fotos soon, also will show multiple ways to attach to surface ie try magnets!!!

because and obo

because i have not been in this sort of position before, i am totally ill prepared. i haven't gotten all my art photographed to post here, just a few pieces, here and there. although slides are now finished at framewrights. so i have decided in the 'dork' manner of sales and promotion that a price list might help. you won't have the work necessarily to see besides but i'll try and be descriptive and specific. your (anon)great request for the price of "migration" is second on the list. here goes:

1. "one growth" 2006 acrylic on canvas (not so sure about dimensions)-4 separate canvas, gallery framed separately in black. avocado, narcissus, egg, bicycle
$400.00

<2.>"migration" 2005 mixed media collage-this piece was quite experimental in nature. i started with a piece of foamcore and wrapped it in a postcard design wrapping paper. the piece is not behind glass or plexi and though it is framed is slightly warped. i think it would do better behind either. i have taken measures to perserve it, so even though there is thread and smaller pieces of paper none of it is going anywhere. nor fading. i priced the piece at $200.00 because it is larger and it took me over 4 hours to complete. i would feel more comfortable if someone looked at it in person and gave their best offer (obo).

3. "stilled shamrock" 2005 acrylic on canvas-this is a smaller piece and absolutely one of my favorites. have i said that before? i did this one with ease, totally painless. from a photograph i took of my own shamrock. the right background is actually gold and does not look yellow in real life. i have had many people say they love this but i have priced it at $150.00 so that may be why. the building left background is the apartment across from where i live. this style seems so popular these days. what do you think?

4. "crimepays" 2005 acrylic on canvas-this piece is the same size as the stilled shamrock. again my primary focus in the last year has been the building across from where i presently live. during each summer the sky on most evenings is filled with fireworks displays and i cannot tell you how many photos i've taken of the building "being bombed or exploding." i so rarely talk about the terrorism we are supposedly fighting but crimepays is my way of expressing what terrorism might look like if it were a couple hundred of feet away from me. in puff letters i've spelled crimpeays up in the windows of the top floor. it is spelled incorrectly on purpose just because. crimepays when you don't get caught. right? $150.00


5. "recycled air" 2005 mixed media collage. gosh! this piece you've seen on my flickr account. you've seen the process and the sewn patchworked outcome. see here. i am so happy with how this came together. my friend matt had been at walmart and picked up a bunch of the paint samplechips. i had just gotten my sewing machine and wanted to sew paper. so i decided to sew the patchwork of color into a landscape. the top right hand corner is the blue moon. i my mind it's the the perfect piece!!! the title taken from the postal service song "recycled air" about flying in an airplane. the perspective of the piece could be from a horizontal or above sort of way. $200.00

6. "criminal" 2002 mixed media collage-this piece has the fish in the top left hand side and a couch a drew in ink-while living at the halfway house-dismis. i used to call this piece dismis, but changed it to criminal a while back. the couch drawing has shown up in a couple of my pieces. it is just so so so comfortable to work with in collage. the price is lower because of it's age and because this piece actually went with me through the housefire. the effect has added to it's appeal i think but not to it's value. $100.00

7. "lookout lake road, santa barbara, NJ." 2001 mixed medica collage-this one is so named because i have included a piece of the three locations in the title. the barn pic is both from new jersey on the family farm and the barn near my aunt's house in on lookout lake road. the postcard of the two indians was bought for me in santa barbara-while living out in california. this piece was a dear, seems that it's an address/map of all my life, so to speak. i love the color and this probably is the first piece that i began using the square, pixelated thing in monochromatic color combinations. at least it's one of the first. some of my first collages are MIA. this piece is lower too, $100.00 because it having gone through the housefire.

8. "work so hard" 2002 mixed media collage- the introduction of birds in my collage. picasso style portrait drawing. hanging birds, a whirlwind of work. what is it with our culture? working so hard to be where exactly? more money! hell no! more drugs please, more toys, cranky, sick-ass kids who spend have their childhood's in daycare, cheating husbands, desperate housewives b.s. we become a powerless, hopeless culture when we work so hard to be so far away from pain, reality of life, struggle. we take drugs to hide, to mask the hard work of living. it makes me sick to my stomach and so my tiny piece about working so hard to be so far, so fake. $100.00

9. "elephant pieces" 2002 original was mixed media-acrylic on canvas-i so love elephants, like lucy the margate elephant up in new jersey at the shore. i sold the original to jen kring, this is just a print, but framing is still expensive, that non-glare-matte glass. so $50.00. i have gotten so much feedback about this piece, though small. i did another like this for my brother aaron for his wife's bday. it was of a bird. absolutely gorgeous if i must say so myself. my goal this year is to do a thousand more of these type paintings. wish me motivation!

*10. "der hund" 2006 mixed media collage-i did this piece for the 2006 chinese new year, year of the dog, postcard swap. i have been so inspired my the quilts and fabric patchwork of other artists and feel that these sorts of opportunities lead to this style. not too long ago i spoke of this piece and it's in my flickr photos and back within the archives. "der hund" is german for dog. the colors and drawing i worked on with this one excites me and makes me feel like a real artist and not just someone who snatches other things from other people. thank you zak smith for the inspiration. $50.00

11. "one fish, two bird" SOLD $150.00 2005 mixed media collage

*12. "paperquilt" 2005 mixed media collage-two collages that i did before "der hund" the same concept, the same feeling, except i purposely wanted these two together because the collage on the left is more organic in nature-concept-imagery, birds and feathers, browns blues and greens. i've been trying to sell cards of this collage on etsy, no such fortune. the collage on the right is more man made, humanly influence in nature. the colors are more vibrant and way less organic. $100.00

* i have cards for sale of some of these collages-$5.00 each.

i hope this helps just a little bit more in your viewing and enjoying pleasure. last night i had my new ikea chair and stool put together. it is so nice. very excited. i'm working the next 4 days straight, pray i don't hate myself in the end of it all. i'll write again later.

one fish, two bird

hurry quik!!! paintings and cards are being snatched up quickly. the thing is the work has only been up since saturday and this is just one example of the items being sold. i decided to take a trip down to mojo last night for a mountain bowl and to check out the 'state-us' of my art. i wanted to look at my work all the while pertending or not letting on that i was the artist. my friend did most of the talking and questioning. i was a bit disappointed that a few of my title cards had fallen, were lost and my artist statement was not to be found. i'll just have to let the little disorganization thingy go. no big woof! aside from all of that i excited beyond belief. wondering who might've purchased the "one fish, two bird." if you or anyone else you know might have any leads in this investigation, i might beable to see if there is a specially nice little card to send your way. anyway just thought you'd like to know what's walking out the doors.

in other news...things i love thursdays is back again. today i wanted to share my love of melamine. too bad i didn't think about it until today, otherwise i would have take photos of all the melamine i recieved via ebay after my 2002 housefire.

check out the sweet melamine i found at fred flare's


it's as if hilary's sweet paper doll's were transferred to these great plates. the really cool thing about the melamine were the amazing colors. at cvs the new summer line of dishes has come out. there is one type with these nice great big flowers on them and even though i cannot stand walmart there's some great plasticware there too. the clear glasses with spots. holy cow too cute! and i know i know i've shared this with you before but you've got to look at french bull. they have the best designed melamine ever!!! i don't need anymore of this stuff, but i can never refuse a looksie or an 'i love this.'

how could i forget?

yet another reason to be joyful! i must say that i cannot bash the blog world because i have immersed myself head over heals. i very excited to announce my participation in green bean baby's paper n ribbon swap. YEAH! i cannot wait and feel the seams around me about to burst! yikes!!! i will keep you completely updated. i was so happy to get the info on the recepient of my gatherings. hope she's ready. cuz' look out here i come.

inverted migration detail

thank you o so much for reading, commenting, peeping and praying for me in these last days. i have been filled with joy at seeing my work in it's finality. yet without a doubt i am even more overwhelmed in the happiness of sharing it all with you. it is the best feeling of excitement ever!!!

i often feel like i show and tell the same things over and over. i am easily influenced by the desire to bowl you over with fresh ideas and my own diy plans, brand spankin new fotos and flashy words of profundity. but it is all a lie, all the more reason phantomcrimes is providentially named. i will try and explain. at first i just liked the sound of phantomcrimes, but today it means more. to me it speaks to the false pretenses i assist and build up of myself. but in your comments i am reminded of my heart's desire for humility and honesty to speak of god's grace (as kate reminds) and mercy. i struggle with being a believer. i struggle with not having beautiful children to write about or take pics of. the blog world is overflowing with beauty and community and yet i might feel lost tomorrow in an insatiable need to fit. i struggle with being an artist in a broken world attempting to resolve a warped creative perception. at once i feel so blessed to have this sacred view of the my surroundings, but feel ever so pulled by the dogs, paul warns us about in philippians 3

Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things again is no trouble to me, and it is a safeguard for you. Beware of the dogs, beware of the evil workers, beware of the false circumcision; for we are the true circumcision, who worship in the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh...

i could easily feel like the little fishie at the bottom of the walmart fish tank but instead my week shall be spent in joy. i may not beable to choose to be strong, but i can choose daily to be joyful. see what i have learned and would rather share with you. check out the march 05 sermon!!!

please feel free to hit up mojo. it is not only a blessing to me to have you see my art, but tim and eve, the owners won't mind your patronage. they are two very cool people. and if you are reading and would like to see more of my work but can't make it down to mojo. check out my flickr badge on the right sidebar. or here's a link. of course not all of my work is in a set and you'll have to do some exploring, neither are there prices, so if you are interested in purchasing-trading email me @ catcollier@hotmail.com

peacenlove

up, up & away

saturday afternoon was a blast, probably the highlight of my weekend. friday afternoon i picked up my work at framewrights. oh at that point i was completely overwhelmed, but crazy excited about seeing all of my finished art. i mean really finished. no more going back to fix it up, touch it up, spruce the edges, corners or colors. it is nerve-racking, i changed the top left hand corner of one growth at the very last minute, changed the car to a bicycle. does it look to sloppy compared to the rest of the painting? justification? snowy outside blur. burrrrrrr... and then there's crimepays, now framed but very nearly not finished. yuck. so i'm going to stop bashing now because looking over there still makes me tingle and shiver with delight. don't you just love the red walls. everything is for sale kids, a total of twelve works. gosh guys, the work is all new too! really i am quite serious. when i finally sat down to do my title cards, there are only two pieces pre-housefire 2002. everything else was finshed in 2005-2006. i had no idea. now that all my art is out of my apartment i can start some new things.

i did get a chance to work on the precious little mailorder via amy at kingpod. it is so nice to have a break from my own stuff, fresh little bits and bobbles to work and play with. please check out the rest of my pics at flickr. i'll post more later.

letting him

well all in all i succeeded in putting together a nice display for my cards. i ended up exploring the whole eyelet thing, which i am not so sure i like quite yet. the reason being that it screws up the cards a little. just a little, no one will notice. but my stampin' up pal and coworker, georja said i might have gotten a defective eyelet kit/punch. so i'll be bringing it into work on monday for her to check out. i did take a few photos of my display. i happened across a cigar store in cartersville back in october and bought a whole lot of boxes. if anyone wants one or two, let me know. so i'm going to collage a small one up and use the yellow plasticicky divider thingy (for cigars) to separate my cards. look fairly nifty.

i really am hoping that this opportunity at mojo pans out financially. i think i could move on creatively if i could actually get rid of some of the old stuff. i think that is why i have given so much away in the past. the prices this go around should be fairly reasonable. between $30-$300 dollars. mojo dude, tim is damn cool, he won't be taking a percentage. pray pray pray.

i have been feeling insecure lately, feeling blah. trying not to smoke as much, so instead of the brand cigarettes, keeping it simple with basics, i have moved back or on to rolling. i indeed smoke less in a day, around 6 or so. and very rarely finish a whole cigarette. it is so mentally challenging that i feel i might burst. shout angry words. spit and tear out my hair. i realized that so much of my identity is wrapped up in smoking. when people first meet me, they are typically shocked to find out that i am a smoker, they say, "you don't look like a smoker." that's bizarrio, i mean what does a smoker look like? but i have truly enjoyed the smoke for close to ten years that giving them up feels terrible. i have also been struggling with going completely vegetarian slash vegan. i feel like if i go completely vegan than i'll cut off the entire world. places like tony's pasta, ice cream, et cetera. i want to make these changes in my life and i have really been finding joy in it all when it comes to the smallest things, but the big things are still catching me in their nets, between their teeth. i have not particular reason for quitting meat or animal biproducts, except the hormone thing, and hell as i told my mom, "i wouldn't eat her, so why eat another once living thing." i am becoming more sensitive to what i put in my body and really it has nothing to do with faith or whatnot.

i am down to 142 pounds. i'm on track with the 2 and 1/2 pounds weekly. i think. i've got another twenty five to lose. i really want to see this happen for myself, not for the moolah or for the fame. just to continue to feel better about myself.

i have been struggling with other things too, but i know what god desires of me, my heart and mind. i really want to be happy with things. i want these new items, like the camera, but it takes working two jobs to get some of these things that i've always wanted, since way before my housefire. i also think that having a new computer, a new camera and such will help in my artisitic endeavors. i wonder if i am just working so much that i don't have the time to find happiness. i mean i knew these weeks of 58-60 hours would be difficult, but physicologically i must rely more heavily on support. i must say again how i am looking forward to the weekend. hope to have many new pics when i get back or i'll post before it is all over.

pic above was another taken at the choochoo with canon SD450. love it even more today. please remind me of the hope, the love, the joy o god.

here there & everywhere

things i love...


under the surface of my life, there are beautiful places. to get through a difficult day or week it is vital that i create. just the other night i went shopping for a camera. i've already got a 35mm canon but have so wanted, so waited, worked two jobs for over a year now to get a really really really nice digital camera. a canon. horray a canon. so here it is: powershot SD450. so in my free time last night i went to one of my most beloved places here in chatt. right across the street to the ole' chattanooga choo choo and took a whole bunch of photos of the coy. this one was my favorite out of the bunch but i've put a whole lot more on my flickr account. check it out.

i am fortunate to have this upcoming weekend off. sometime on friday i am going to have to go pick up my framed work at framewrights. on saturday evening i'll be hanging my work and the exhibit-show will run the month. i've got a little bit of work cut out for me in the next couple of days. with my new camera, the not so dinocam, i hope to bring you new, improved, current and inspiring photos. no more excuses or regret here. i have got to begin the process of building the foundation of my work. putting more time, more effort into the joy of creating. i happened to get an eggroll yesterday, later in the afternoon my fortune cookie reminded me that creating is proof of life. i appreciate that small bright thought. i'll have to write another time...too busy now. just a quickie update.

no waste wednesday

i am just going to start you off here:

1. Plastica has these great never before seen
pigeon lamps. just wish that ikea put some-
thing out that is comparible.
2. pr1mary space feature artist anna cangialosi. i have made you look before but it's a must see if you are totally in love with all things bird/owls.

3. i cannot remember where i first saw this, i cannot give credit. but man showing and telling is
the way here. i cannot stop looking at some of these great works by some very great artists.
i guess you could use this place to have your art work printed and sold. this might be an
alternative for me at some point, very very very soon. check it: blaugallery. i have too
favorites to mention.

4. tobi wood designs

5. some very cool purses for those of us who aren't sewing as well as some you brillant others.
they even have some very interesting warhol things. i especially like the parcel purses. see
shop loop.

five cool things for you to check out. today it's framewright and possibly a good meal out or something. i weighed in for the first time yesterday sense feb 14. and i've lost 3 and a half pounds. did i already mention that in yesterdays post? don't think so. but ah. i'm thinking new bathing suit. i walked last night, but i'm going to have to continue the doubling of the 13 flights of stairs.

blue leftovers

i've exhausted myself creatively. on one very heavy hand i've done all i can with 'one growth', on the other hand i am still completely displeased with this last weekends effort of major progress and finality of the piece itself. it wasn't satisfying to finish. i am confused and frustrated about why and have so much to do in such a little bit of time. really? i will try to be honest. i must comfort myself a little with reality. my difficult work is over. i just called ron at framewrights and he'll be able to do slides and frames for about eight pieces before march fourth. i am so thankful for their work and willingness. i slack when it comes to slides and framing, waiting until a show op arises. i took the self portrait after christmas mid-january. cropped the photo looks nicely balanced and ooo so emoblah (my projection).


'one growth' is partial seen, far right. although on a critic friend's advice i've removed the car in the left hand corner/sec and painted a bicycle. i suppose i began to think about the only real growth in the painting being the narcissis bulb in the center. the avocado seed far left never sprouted and (not seen) is a hard boiled egg. compositionally i'm pleased with the flow, color, and repetition. but to achieve the smoothness absolutely killed me. the painting consumed me in a way that i am not used to, leaving me a little blue and blurry.

i've got to clean up 'crimepays' and deliver my work tomorrow afternoon. i had a really nice weekend and shouldn't feel the way i do. i have begun the process of flushing the accumulation of things. beginning with the ole 45's pc-trashed and the wooden chair went to ac/lc, leaving ample room for my easel. dad and mom gave me their old pc and i am letting mb use the harddrive, we're hooking up comcast tomorrow and i'll begin the quest. kate-i tried printvista-no success or something? will try again. found a mac4 for 18hundred buckaroos via mb and wishing for a diggicam. i know that my fam and friends will want me to define my relationship with mb. aaron asked that i think about it and attempt to articulate it because i haven't. i've been refusing. i have a lifelong history of 'dating' none xtians. thus the pattern evolves. i would like to use my blog to explore my thoughts. i am inspired and called out to be more honest, just as i mention days after vday. i start and stop, start and stop. fear calls be back from rushing. i really i'm not afraid to say i do not know. i do not know. i know this...

i want to feel somewhat protected from carrying the burden alone. i want a friend to shop for a new computer with. i want someone who is honest and light, simple. not as analytical as myself. i mostly want to be thirty and not feel twelve. i want to have my work constructively criticised my a fellow artist, a peer. someone who likes the same sort of art i do see the mag's i mention in last week's no waste wednesday. i like eating at indian mahal and don't know anyone else who'd like to go there with me or even suggest we do that. i want someone to remind me everyday that smoking cigarettes is killing me and it not be my mom or my sisternlaws, no offense girls. i want to work hard for someone other than myself because i feel i won't be rewarded. i won't see the reflection of sharing. i want my strength to be balanced with specifically a man's strength-that physiological makeup of a man vs. woman thing. knowing that i am not with a believer mosdef bothers me. i will have to faceoff once again. it is too hard to trust that god will bring a xtian man into my life. i really haven't asked him to bless me in that way. i've just been floating, working, building up my own spiritual walk and relationship. i am not with mb at this point to change him or to be changed. that's where i am at right now with men in my life and what i am doing. i feel happy and less afraid. i feel solid and incontrol. i feel god. i still want his mercy and grace. i love god more than anything else in my life.

where would i be

a no waste wednesday wishing it was valentine's day one more day this week or twice more in the months to come. maybe i could be more honest about the love i feel in my life. i know and feel to be a better lover of my life, family and friends now than when i was at eighteen, or even twenty five. so now it is thursday...

1. mojo burrito show/exhibit of old and new work (12 pieces at the least). march 4th through march 31, 2006. thanks to my friend matt. 5
a. four new pieces (two already done)
b. business cards (kate you got the link?)
c. more slides of older work
d. framing framing framing it all up.

2. DG picked it up last night @ "thanks a million for shopping a books a million"

3. B/D picked it up last night as well. couldn't help it. such incredible inspiration. i am also looking-shopping mac's. i may embarass myself here, but i do not care. things are changing in my life and i realize there isn't going to be a whole lot of judgement coming this way anyway. but i applied for a line of credit and only got a $1000.00 bucks. so my mac will have to wait until i save a little bit more moolah. i mean a grand is nothing, right? a mac 5 is up there in the 2500-3 g. price range. i have goals, you know, ideas that aren't going to be squashed by anything or anyone.

4. the ultimate guitar school i've though i haven't check this site out completely i'm sending it kate's way for j3 a.k.a josiah. there maybe something fun here for the whole fam.

5. started the biggest loser on february 14th, 2006. goal weight loss is thirty pounds. my body mass index tells me that i am obese. wouldn't you know it. i'm supposed to be one hundred to one hundred and ten pounds. hell! i'm going win the $300 bucks. i've got 12 weeks, that's 2 and 1/2 pounds a week. you may think i'm crazy...whooohooohooo!

over and out.

one fish two fish

blue fish, yellow fish. i could not believe my eyes last weekend when kate, josiah, eden and i trekked down to the largest aquarium in the world. yesterday i got my first roll of film back from the excursion and feel just as overwhelmed with wonder as i did while walking jaw dropped through the maze of people last sunday. i really hope my jellyfish photos come out as well or better than this roll. i cannot imagine that if i had gone snorkeling in hawaii, i would've seen as many fish as i did in my visit to the ga aquarium. i couldn't wait to show you all and felt after seeing andrea's flickr set that i'd bust in glee. fishy glee. i'd also like to welcome you, urge you, if you haven't already to take a look at kate's quar-um fotos. all i did this past weekend was work at the rx, read the martian chronicles, eat veggie soup and guacamole. walk and think. although i did see my parents on saturday morning at the tin roof bistro, which was super special, nice and delicious. i am fairly independent and do not see my mom and dad as much. at least lately. i suppose i go in phases. i've been tagged and i did not think i would be but...

four jobs I've had:
NK Lawn & Garden
Nature Center Camp Counselor
Substitute Art Teacher
Pharmacy Tech
Patient Accounts

four movies i could watch over and over:
amelie
rushmore
big fish
city of lost children

four places I've lived:
3314 mtn view drive
st. elmo avenue
templeton CA
market street

four TV shows I watch:
david letterman
art 21
history detectives
sunday morning with charles osgood

four places I've vacationed:
boston mass
nyc new york
hawaii
salmon creek falls

four foods I love:
pastachios
garlic pasta
bryers vanilla bean with sunflower seeds
cream cheese

four sites I visit daily:
hotmail
flickr
new eyes
sitemeter

four albums I can't live without:
beck's one foot in the grave
leonard cohen's best of
nick drake's northern sky & five leaves left
bright eyes

four places I'd rather be:
in my bed asleep
in my own studio space

four random items in my purse:
too many lipgloss(es)
pic disk
vitamins
buttons/like 3 or 4 lighters

tag you're it:
jessica
kim
vicki
michelle

that's it dude this kinda stuff where's me out.

to post or

not to post, without it i feel a little less of my life is moving forward. oh how i love my blog and our fine blogworld. i haven't had a whole lot of time. i was too fortunate to be in atlanta over the weekend with the k. fam for josiah's third birthday. we went to the new largest aquarium in the world aquarium on sunday afternoon for like 4 hours straight. found my own way to harry's after a weary turnabout in marietta and went thrifting, which i've not done in about a century. we had a glorious time and i felt i might've redeemed myself after stupidly missing josiah's second bday.
i came back on monday night through the very severe though southern winter weather. (so it wasn't as bad as or as beautiful as this or this). i spent most of the day on tuesday helping my friend out, but happened to old navy and bought a pretty little summer top which i'm not hesitating to wear today. even though the waking temp was about 24 degrees. i must say that i'm going to have to kick things up. i have got to stop being such a putz and finish the projects i say i am going to finish.

i was too fortunate as well to get a sweet, rather delicious mailorder from amy @ kingpod. although i do not think i got a subscription, which i regret terribly. oh well. i am still going to have fun. i am going to work on my cards for a sweet card swap with jm @ scraping and jesus this weekend. i am so looking forward to a more creative spurt. i will i will. and on top of that kate is making some real nice paintings, congrats in welcoming oil back into your life!

and by the way, i've mentioned before that i often get a lot of my fotos ie. the one above from a site called veer. i typically will leave the emblem on the right hand corner so that you'll know but i wanted to reply to what mecozy asked about the dove piece being mine. it isn't! it is from veer and on that one i did crop the logo. there is everything there @ veer. fonts and fotos galore. kate and i sometimes marvel that the stuff "falls" off their site so easily, but i attempt to always give credit when asked. the fotos are usually taken by individuals and so on and so forth, so i'm not so sure where the dove (last post) came from. so sorry. on this one the very top i did a search using the key word "owl" because i love how so many of you out there love the owls, thought this might find you a bit more inspired.

i've gotta work all weekend. i'm so glad you all like my postcards. cannot wait to see the gallery open. i have gotten 7 out 10. hope to see the final three come in soon. i'll attempt to post pics soon.