owl for an owl

i'm moving on, by inverting the colors, modpodging, thinking more about painting upon my paper quilt series. thoughts of white on collage, robots, birds, and trees. how? ugh the biggest and hardest question though. i started another painting, a very large painting. i am trying to keep up the pace. i'm not working this weekend so hopefully i'll have some shots of wip. it's of a tree, yes another tree, but you've got to remember my concentration, my spirit of concept must not sway. i do not like the tree that i've painted at all so there is much work to follow. saturday morning i'll be heading out to brunch with my mom and dad. i'm thinking of pool time with jen. and church on sunday. fajatas up on the mountain and working at the rx on monday, time in half holiday pay.

i am not sure we are to speak of financial victories or not, but two weeks ago the docs i work for here at uoha agreed upon a four percent yearly household income raise, i have asked for a little bit more than that, and i think i may be getting it. so far i've gotten really good feed back from the o.m. it isn't as though i'll be able to quit the rx, but last year i happened to owe the irs a grand, my dear father helped me out, but i am still indebted. there is grace in all of this.

i've gotten the most incredible feedback on the paper quilt series things. i really appreciate your looking, encouraging words and thoughts. have a great weekend.

storm out storm in

i pleased to announce productiveness! there is a hint of autumn in the air this morning. i came home on friday afternoon, last week and found a special sort of thing in my box. it was the late summer 2006 paper source catalog. woohoo! boy do i ever get excited about catalog's. it might be considedered cheating but but i'm all about the free beautiful stuff inside, plus couldn't it be considered recycling. catalogs pile up on top of one another never to be leafed through again. i'm using what i have, i mean hasn't that been a concern of collage artists since the beginning of time. the expense can be so overwhelming. don't get me wrong i have purchased before.

so over the weekend i found the gumption to put my hands to work and i was able to produce three small monochromatic collage quilts. i'll be uploading the green and blue pieces to my flickr immediately after i'm finished posting. i worked this past weekend so i'm excited i got anything done at all. on the other hand my apartment has been neglected for weeks. so before i start any new projects, i am going to have to clean beyond measure.

i finally feel like the amount of art i have to show is growing back it's leaves again. after a florishing spring and a scorching summer i didn't think i had much to offer. things may finally be flowing once again.

reality away

i just got finished eating less than half a soggy blackbean burger and i'm not certain it isn't going to haunt me. i have got a pile of projects to accomplish this afternoon before heading out for the weekend, to work at the pharmacy. i desperately need a power nap right about now, a soymilk iced mocha or s.m.o.k.e. i have had a different week a much much better week, less work more fun!

tuesday: rembrandt's with m.c. and laurie
wednesday: b.s. @ calvary, 6 mile walk with carolyn and blisters
thursday: much much needed evening with jen and lavender, sweet starfish aloe too, veggie pizza umm.
friday: work
saturday: work
sunday: work

i am almost finished with till we have faces by c.s. lewis, next it's onto wendell berry. i am working on a essay, might enter it into an essay contest but i really need my genius writing brother aaron's help. my other brother's a genius too but he's a builder. i'm the red dot in the middle of everything. do you have a grasp of your reality? i am working on it. sunday my electricity went out for three hours, boy was that a sign i needed to be quiet, reflect, acknowledge and well pray just a little. next week i should be back to posting consistently. i'm off. thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

confession of hope

tweet tweet!

have a wonderful weekend, take care my friends:)

circles and cycles

last night things in my mind took a turn, a bend in the road, so i'm in the clear. i have managed to circle back and recycle the negative things, walk six miles, from the boathouse to the aquarium and all is well within the mental health of this nation of cat. will i finish anything? stay tuned.

can you believe it? the sheer creative madness behind w.w. has revealed herself. i am a very proud owner of one of her super dooper wee's. mae (aka moe) has brightened many a day for me! man it's been so long ago, the pics i have are when i only had the dino-cam. although i do have recent fam photo (closeup of mae) of the crew that resides under my lamp.

and besides i heart these round cyclical sort of shapes both in nature and in things like geometry, who wouldn't love a round home-like a silo.

outstretched beneath the tree

even though poison tree is now complete and riding it's wave on etsy. i am absolutely disappointed with my photo quality. there is no justice in florescent midnight apartment light, even the martha stewart sheer curtain morning pale is dull. i fear that i may take 'reel' film photos just to get the perfect shot. it's not a fear of taking manual shots as much as a fear of suffocating the audience with a thousand photos of the tree. i'm ready, more willing to lie outstretched beneath the tree and drown myself in the "hit me of over the head" color blobs. unfortunately, meager if no attempts have been made on my part in the last couple of evenings to move forward with new projects. i started three new pieces, last week, that are a good deal smaller. but i'm stumbling over the tiny tree-bush concept. i believe the color pallette choices are throwing me for a loop as well. i wanted to do dark...purple, silver and such, yuck you maynaysay, reminds me of prom vomit. like the plastic faux champagne glass filled with purple and silver sequin dust, etched forever "a night to remember."

reflection is sincerely beside the point. my prayers, haphazardly speaking, are for a collector and wealth to absorb some of this effort. realistically i have little to moan about considering my greatest art success with the mojo show. my crazed feelings emerge with the mulitude of opportunity though. it is choosing and motivating and breathing before showing, framing and hanging all of my work. i have mentioned legacy and wish i had the work it took to show-do a festival but i feel a gap, a lack and therefore i'll let the event pass, probably. i'm less interested or something and cannot exactly put my finger on the blahblah. may be it is the money, the funds it would take to enter...i mostly just want to make art all of the time.

i mostly am encouraged by thoughts from you guys on flickr. there's nothing like it in all of the world, i like it most of all. it's my addiction. but did you read about the non-selling rules on flickr. i did. i think it's good, just remember not to price things or try and sell things via flickr. just link up your stuff to your blog/etsy, whatever the case may be.

bside: i haven't said much about my time in atlanta...still thinking on it all. wondering and letting reflection sooth any discomfort i feel. i took a stock of pics that came out and the botanical gardens were delightful! the time was unbearably short and sweet. it was a race and i hate races. but it was all my fault. dynamics are different and i'm isolated in a few ways, not by choice but by circumstance. i (feelings aren't always an indication of the truth) have very little to offer, except boring single life behavior and selfishness. i love my dear best friends, each distinct, unique and inspiritational. i am angry, not knowing why, and so my eyes find pessimistic corners and jaded edges to rest on. i'm not angry at them no, not at all, honestly. just frustrated with my own issues. oh and this is not a bemoan me session, that would be disgusting. i cannot change my life and rearrange past details. but when truth hits, it's like a baseball bat to my senses, painful. i am challenged to get involved. and will be asked about it soon-thankfully i have a mom picking up between the lines to balance out the ditch digging. i had better start acting before being alone is all i am. unhappiness is not where i'm at. because i love curling up in bed to read before i sleep, really. and going out with carolyn to get coffee after work is well yummy. and driving wherever. and buying nothing or something when i go to target. i really like solo-living, but right now there are more questions than answers. so...yeah my chin is up. there is not negativity just wonder. and word-e ness that i'm embarassed by, but mostly hope for a better next hour and day or night.

runaway

i ran away. look what i found while i was gone.

no waste wednesday

i have been meaning to bring no waste wednesday back, though i'm not certain it means a grand amount or that other's would designate a day. many of you don't have the time to explore links provided but it is such great fun to promote and acknowledge other work and product.

1. hypehopewonderland just found via beautiful decay

2. in new issue of domino there's an article i've not read yet but one that looks of interest-succulents, ironically here's my pic version.

3. can you say aaron kraten? this work excites my like no other. it's this style that i'm crazy for and about-behind my freezing tree pieces that aren't anywhere near the quality/depth. honestly i couldn't have told you who this guy was until today but heck it is beyond worth sharing, shout about it! every single piece of his is color rich, line savvy, simply sick art is out of this world! KATE!!! (i will buy his work someday: dream of the day)

4. and friend chris @ chrimmons

in re: to above photo. this one could go with the wire of my ledge photo really. the attraction is to line and the barren tecture. what do you all think, i mean who knew the wire below my office desk could, look at least through my eyes, so swankyswell! i'll be out for the next couple of days, heading down to the atlanta and probably won't be back until monday or tuesday next week.

full time pull of war

by now we may all be sick of seeing the poison tree progress but here we go again. over the weekend i attempted to add what you might call a sunburst-like area in the top right hand corner of the piece. by doing so the piece balanced itself out a little, because the tree was weighing the right side down so. in addition i began adding a little bit of paint at a time. first it was blue to accentuate the tree and then i had to go back over it a little with some white. then i had to splatter some yellow and some green which you can't see from the photos because as you can tell there are not green and yellow splatters. and then some more white, even now it looks different. but i've almost had enough. the learning experience has been a vivid, quite wonderful this go around and i've started four new smaller pieces, using the same techniques. the ideas have finally become concrete and poison tree seems now more like an encaustic and less like a collage. i am so very fond of layering, i want my audience to really be fooled by what they are looking at, fooled by how it was actually created. i have always enjoyed making my paper art look and feel like it has been created using computer programming tools, now i feel more than ever that i'm showing these sorts of thoughts off. i have found the right medium-paper, paint and mod podge-i know that this piece is full of color and yet in the last week i have felt extremely dark. often i find that my deepest feelings, my darkest thoughts are not reflected in my work at all. it's odd but so very true. i'll be putting the poison tree up on etsy within the week. a couple of peeps have inquired, so...

sunday was full of family times at my aunt's home. i spent the last hour walking around her home taking photos of her land, her gardens, her flowers, her moss and my family members. i have got a whole slew, not stew, of new pics creeping onto my flickr. i usually cannot stand a nature shot, love flowers and things like that but can't stand my pics of those sorts of things. i'm looking forward to getting through the first part of this week to thursday. planning a day and overnight to the onethousands for s.c. reunion of sorts. our plans: botanical gardens. our conversation: catch up, art, kids, and such. our faces: all smiles.

i should beable to find some emotional peace soon.

when to the gyn this past friday. in two thousand two i weighed in at his office at 153. two thousand three: 161. two thousand four 168. two thousand five: 151. two thousand six: 142. dr. a. jones congratulated me, told me now i have to work on my smoking...eeeKKK! i'm thankful for my youth and my health. god is still at work in my hear-blah and i am more free than i used to be. the chains are slowly falling away from the burdens i have chosen to carry for oh so long. i do see light, rarely but yes. the light fades and then reappears. i fight the simultaneous nature of being. my motto seems stale and stretched out like a crusty rubberband. SCREW- "your greatess weakness=your greatess strength!!!" well okay so i'm better at least i think i'm better at preaching it, than i am taking it all to heart-proactivally taking charge. i'm trying to be bold and less emotionally clingy. or something. and i'm not feeling that terribly bad about things it's just...well you know. just looking forward to an uplifting time with good very best friends.

aunt to be

so far in my life i am a daughter, a sister, a sister in law, a niece, even a friend or best friend but i am not yet an aunt. at least not yet! on sunday my brother and his wife announced that they were starting the grand process of adopting a little baby boy from kazakstan! this is only the best news a girl like me could get on a day full of work and weariness. i was exhausted but felt beyond uplifted by the exciting news! i feel so fortunate to have a growing family. a family willing to go to great length's and miles to grow itself. we are so happy, so inpatient, so wishing, so eager to see the little boy that god brings into our lives. do i look like i could be an aunt? it's kinda of a new phase of life, you know? my best friends have had children and so these feelings of attachment aren't new ones but it's a little different knowing there is going to be another "collier" in our midst. yikes!

i had such a good time at the ryan adams show, he played sylvia plath and lucy, lucy my gal, you know that song? a bunch of new music i hadn't heard exactly but what about this great rock n roll? kate and joel were so thoughtful to ask me to come along, and well we just wished for others to be around with us. the last time we saw ryan was at rhythm and brews (ugh! probably about 8 or nine years ago maybe less) and there was only about 20 or so people there. we were yelling out all kinds of songs and he played the ones he could, later the boys caught up with him and talked for awhile. at the time i was too shy or bewildered, always around these semi-hot musicians. i felt the same way when i saw conner oberst from bright eyes.

my friends and i are on track for a day trip slash reunion of sorts and i have all of that to look forward to. i'm also excited about a small new york adventure i will be taking in early november with my two snl's. i don't know yet if i'll be visiting with friends or not, but i'll have 4 days to do whatever, and the flights have been booked and bought. so nyc here i come! my mom's brother from new jersey is down for the week and i'm not working this weekend, maybe i'll clean. i've got an vaccum cleaner that i cannot find new bags for. unga bunga!

cleaning is the last thing i want to do but i'm living in a jungle of neglect right now, much like i think most bachelor's live (question).

dream today: a mac5

when you rock

i know that i have not completely recovered from saturday july 29 because every day has been a hard day since. it may actually have more to do with working saturday from 8:30am until 4:40pm then driving to atlanta to see ryan adams, staying out until 3am and then driving back to chatt to work from 12-6pm. it may have to do with the fact that yesterday was august one and the day before that was july thirty one and the ends and beginnings of months are the most difficult time for me at uoha. money and charges must all be complete. you know accounting type things that can be stressful. i love my job the majority of time but precertifications have changed with some of patients and i'm just a boggle-minded person right now.

the concert was really nice. at the tabernacle and loud. i took like two hundred shots and deleted one hundred and fifty shots i think. i mostly love all kinds of music, except for well um country. ryan is down right rock n roll though.

i took a whole lot of photos using that continuous shot feature and came up with some decent pics. i cannot remember the last show i went out of town for...saw jairus's farewell show at lamar's several months ago, but the drinking scene is a little too...well there's a local down in atlanta and we met up with chris and ann. fairly nice and well loud again. nothing is new. just wanted to pop in. i'll post more when i've got more time and betta spirits.

poison tree progress reported

i am quite a night person and always have been. in any case my newest piece, poison tree is still in the works. updated progress. roger ten four roger. i haven't been this excited about something that i am in the midst of making in sometime, if feels like forever but i'm taking time, real time. there are still a few areas that need a bit more coaching but for the most part i think the ideas are clear. although you may ask me why the poison tree?

maybe this will help...

A Poison Tree: william blake

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
And I watered it in fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.
And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright,
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,
And into my garden stole,
When the night had veiled the pole.
In the morning, glad I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

one in the spirit

i made it through a difficult week of twelve hour days, monday through friday. when saturday morning rolled around i was ready for a day off with best friends both younger and older. we had so much fun with one another that the time flew by. at one point i sat imaging us all together in the same city again. how we'll be able to do this galavanting around the water parks, savoring a good ole PB&J, talking blogs and craft, painting and babies. i know the dear people in my life care about me when they let their children(josiah) run arms outstretched yelling out "miss cat, miss cat" proceeding to explain fire trucks, sirens and water fountains to me. what a joy! what a joy! i never want for anything when josiah is around my neck. i never could ask god for my own children, when he has given me so much when he created josiah, eden b. and lavendar.

i also worked on art over the weekend, specifically poison tree. notice i've got two links because i've got to differnt lighting effects on the picture. i'm completely pleased with my progress and can't wait for it's completion. it'll come up in etsy as soon as i can get it done. i'm also really excited about my vision-concept. re: trees. something i hope i can prosper in and with. check out my drawing: welcome tree from several years ago. goes to show how much i love trees. just because. i have also put recycled air up in my shop. it's a little pricey but totally worth it. i used my sewing machine to sew the entire thing, now it is framed in matte glass, barely there glare, double the cost but so nice. i really hope someone loves it enough someday to purchase it. because it is so beautiful. obviously the photo quality could be better but i'm hoping you all get the jist.

i was completely invigorated by my saturday off. i really hope the same can be said about the other participants. i know it's difficult with kids, but i'm so happy that i'm still included and that my singleness lends itself to helpfulness. those of you who have children should also try your hand at having many single friends, plus a few elder folk. it helps for perspective and adjustment to each new stage of life. i feel affirmed in my relationships when i'm not exactly the same as the next person, or not in the same place. thanks for the great times girls!

i think many of you are not reading anymore, like my early readers and it maybe because i'm not crafting as much but i hope you all are finding good stuff elsewhere. it is interesting how blogs take on phases and lives of their own. which brings me to how it's bizarre that in my reading i have found other female bloggers posting re: negative feedback and comment making. first it started here and then to here. several months ago i read about some scrapbooking bloggers being dogged out by other scrapbooking bloggers or "real" collage artists. it seemed like such an unattractive mess from the outside, although i could also see it being ironed out through exposure and confrontation. i have only experienced a small amount of negative commentry from a specific person who will remain anonymous. at that time i took my archives off and instigated the comment moderation thingy. it hurt my feelings because my life changes from day to day. why would anyone go back and comment on stuff that was going on over a year ago?

i too have heard that political blogs are places of great strife and conflict-i avoid them all together. i remember when the presidential elections were going on and how even crafty bloggers were writing about their likes and dislikes, their disgust with our future/current president, i was putoff by it all and felt like making snide remarks on other people's blogs (i.e. united blue states of america/united red states of america) which i may have, but man i cannot imagine attacking someone's art or craft. what the hell are you thinking when you decide to critcise someone else's work or (life)? it reminds me that nothing is pure and righteous in this world and that we all need grace. i pisses me off because i figure of all the people in the world, female crafty bloggers might serve to gain a national or global position of peace. we are people of great humility, service and open mindness. we are people who craft because we love art and love using our hands, we don't give a damn about the color of your skin, your religion, your age or your economic position. when it comes down to a postcard swap or any sort of swap for that matter, i'm not looking to see if you are a christian or not. i'm not looking to see if you care or even read my blog. my goal is to share, share unconditionally. that's why it is so hurtful when anyone is negative, my god it's pathetic if it's anonymous too! i wanted to weigh in because i know how important blogging has become for me and so many of my friends. it's unity, it is peace, it is love and learning. my prayers are that negative comments end and as stupid as it sounds i hope the sour critcisim is stifled by the brillant minds of the people who have crafted/blogged/and written before and after me. i haven't got the mind a of genius but i know if we give up on speaking out, if we passively walk through life we'll never see our greatest ideas some to fruition. i also know that we can have a great influence all over the world. thank you jane and six n a half! your words are good strong and courageous! don't give up!

seventeen and counting

giggling grouper and the voyager with my office coworkers. wishing i were still on vacation at the beach but had a terrific weekend with two of my very best friends. i will update in a day or two.

seashells, legacy thought & TILT

seashells this year weren't as plentiful, pretty or big. the biggest one i found, as seen in the bottom left hand corner is grey, drabish and full of potholes. i wonder if katrina might have had a hand in great shells being found last year, thus everything left was swept out to sea this year. in honor of andrea being able to go to the butterfly fest i thought it'd be nice to post photos of seashells as butterflys. the only way i can think to display shells is a pile. i'd like to do a seasonal aquarium or frame them somehow though. anyone for ideas. i am still thinking of entering legacy. maybe i'll just do two pieces instead of the extensive booth thing. there's also the whole kicking it into high gear thing-making and painting a ton more work if i got in and had to do the booth.

i am also approaching my second year blog birthday i believe july 28th is it, although i have absolutely no clue how many posts at this point...but i've been debating about some sort of celebration thingy's. i kind of want to do two things: 1. surprise the 12,000 visitor who comments with a present from me and 2. this one is a little bit different but i thought about changing my blog entirely; the name, the look, the whole kit and kaboodal. i have ideas which have been graphically worked on but that's about it. i also thought i'd be nice to host a mid summer postcard swap/recipe swap with andrea because we're strung out on the heat thing but i've not gotten with her on this tip. there's also these ideas about selling everything i own on ebay. but that really has nothing to do with a blog birthday bash. i have taken some better photos of "recycled air" thinking i'll post it on ebay within the month. etsy too! i just want to see a little bit more profit, even 1 buck would do...

a being that it's thursday i'd like to participate in TILT today and say that i so so so love maps and wouldn't be about selling off my map magnets.

sweet & sour

i have driven down to gulf shores every year for the last three years in my little black nissan sentra. a week ago tuesday i was driving down main to get cheaper gas in the ghetto when with a smack-crack, a large rock hit my windshield, a inch higher it would've missed the glass completely and i would have been left with a large dent. but oh no! thankfully the rock did not go through the glass, could it have? i wonder. initially there were three small tributaries pulled by gravity toward the wipers. they were only about six inches long, but growing rapidly with every bump and rising degree. over the course of my trip i watched and marked the growth in the glass each day. kinda of getting used to a junkshield, kinda wishing i could get a new rabbit or something cool like that. thinking about the cost, wishing i had shield coverage.

even with a crack i was able to take some fine cloud shots on my way out of town. i am not one for sunsets or sunrises for that matter but give me a bright blue sky and some heavy white bellowy clouds and it's a sureshot! i love doing things simply with color and blue/orange and brown are such hot beach colors, for instance all of the newest bikini's and bathing suits are shades of brown and blue or mostly aquaturq. this year the trip was better than it has ever been, female dynamics can be a nightmare, but we made it out of the gulf alive. the only thing that i wanted to purchase were reef's but forwent the pleasure, and there weren't shells, big shells, just tiny ones. oh well there's always next year.

i got my package for nina together last night and went to the post office just now but the postlady said i hadn't addressed the box correctly and she wanted to pick my lotta jasdotter address labels off, i said oh geez no thank you! little pe-od but won't be mailed today, tomorrow though for sure. no new crafting news but feeling good about art and making and oh

one other thing: when driving down to the gulf my coworker and friend ann mentioned that i was sort of like a piece of sour candy, the more you go back to it and suck on it (not me) the sweeter it is on the inside. okay so this doesn't hurt my feelings i mean, i've got the hard tough outer shell and tend to trust and love as i get to know a person thus becoming sweeter. plus i think ann was referring to our early conversations five years ago re:911 and terrorism. she said that my thoughts and ideas/comments were difficult for her to take in, in the beginning, but she always wanted more and never refused the debates. it's honestly quite weird when a coworker has such depth of thought about my character and personality. at the same time i'm happy with my sweet & sour ways. sure there are flaws in most every character but i have always sought peace in conflict and truth in depth. what we have in the office becomes superficial and wrapped in the newest clothes, but trips like the 2006 bt gives us the op to change perspective and grow as a group. afterall the docs have got some clue, ABSOLUTELY NO TURNOVER! i have often been described as a cat, but i think i'll stick to the candy comparison.

one dream a day: purchasing and old delapitated brick building on mlk blvd. turning it into a hostile/school/orphanage for people.

weight on my mind

there is no proof that things have changed, just by looking on the outside of things. there may be a tan, a better smile with whiter teeth, there maybe fresh clothes and a better haircut but the truth remains that change must be developed, encouraged and nurtured in the heart, first. like in war the heart and mind must battle for possession of the body. my side by side comparison isn't to show a major outward appearance because there isn't one. it's not to brag or boast or even justify. it is a way for me to show my gratitude to those who have given me their encouragement and love. being back in the depths of reality challenges me to pick up where i left off. walking everyday and eating less of the bad stuff, you know all that fun stuff. but i want to work on the other stuff too like having a happier spirit, letting the less important things roll of my back. in addition i am going to work on making my dreams come true. gosh i never thought i'd write "hopeful, giddy" words and wrap them around "dreams." i have everything i need but cannot help but want more. next year i do want that laptop-my compass for art direction. but that's it for now.

back, better & before

time swallowed me. i swallowed feelings of liberation. i arrived home yesterday afternoon, feeling a little bit like life and the ocean had changed me. the sun everyday, the beating waves, seaweed haze and torrent winds are still on my mind and in my reflection. am i back? so i am very physically, with my mind at the edge of the shore. before i left i was beginning to take time again. time to swallow up my urge. piece by piece a grid of this family tree. the poison tree a concept-ual i've had for too long and haven't had any degree of motivation. it is working itself out so very well. and so now and probably for ever i will be working on this one theme; "trees." considering my last two paintings were the freezing trees and now this. and yes it is still a wip, i know it's not friday guys.

did i mention that i am feeling now one hundred percent better. like a new female. like a new growth, a green feeling. oh i do appreciate kate, jen's, and ellia's considerately sweet thoughts. i have this semi-guilty feeling that i may have asked for them in a desperate way, but before i left i was feeling really desperate. really and i didn't know if you'd want to know, or even if i should ask for support and help. did i even ask? i needed the good cry that came on monday night last week. i needed to write it all down, whatever it all was that was beneath my skin, crawling and causing me conflict. i needed your affirmation and i needed to get the hell away for a while. i needed to laugh with tears, i needed to laugh more and swim and tan tan tan. i needed to find a few pretty shells. all not without great strength from my mother and you my friends. so now that beachtrip 2006 is past i can move forward. i so i will, beginning with working again every day and every night this week. and trying so to get off on the 29th for ryan adams, he's one hot whiskey. how can i miss it?

i have updated my flickr acct with bt 2006 pics. i may end up doing a side by side comparison of last year-this year. i think it might be cool. if i have time.

back and burning

i have always wondered how rocks and wires appear upon my ledge, considering i'm not the one putting them there. yesterday the wire looked so nice in the light. at some point someone was trying to break in the apartment building. there are more and more people moving into the grand that are section eight. i'm not though. how is that supposed to work? a court order? i might be considered section eight. the building maybe under new property management. i say maybe because there are staffing transitions but no name change. i've noticed more and more neglect but have no idea what larger city downtown living is like. i'd hate to live down on main next to the firehouse. those condos/huge apartments don't seem to be getting good solid sound proof windows.

i had a really nice weekend and after fighting the infection i feel ninty five percent better. i still have got some residuals...but on saturday my mom and dad invited me to a bagel brunch. we talked and munched and talked just a little bit more. the room, the room i love is now a robin's egg blue and mom got that cool wicker furniture from pier one. ooo. so so so pretty. i oughta take some shots. mom and i planned to shop but as soon as i got in the car i felt terribly ill. i even had to cry a little to get all the sickness out. such a strangeness about my health, both physical and mental, these days. my mom's generous spirit is undescribable. and my appreciation pales. because i'm humbled by her love and humbled by the beautiful things we found together for me to wear to the beach. i have wondered if the struggle with my appearance was worth writing about. the ideas and desire to change the outward (as the inward side of me is constantly growing) yikzers! it's an awkward thing to blog about and nearly ego-gross! i mostly think it is interesting because i never once thought there might be something wrong with me at less than 5 foot and weighting a ton. it was never a consideration. nor had it ever revolved around my faith so much.

in re: to sunday. there was cc and wonderful news and teaching on dreams. so i wrote a bit in my private black book about what some of my dreams are. and also what some of my accomplishments have been in the last year. it's hard for me to think about these things when i'm only trying to get through today. but in retrospect all is a lot better than i could ever imagine.

i am starting more art stuff too. and painting again. after all it has been a long time. too long. and tomorrow i'm leaving for the gulf, so i won't be back for a week or more. i'm glad to be going. and on the 29th there is ryan adams, but k8 i'm not sure about getting off, because i'd be not working on my designated rx weekends. i'm still trying though. and no one has ever said a word about my header, and i've got new photos up in flickr. check em.